The More Things Change
by jstar1382
Summary: …the more they stay the same. *Season 2- AU Caskett story* Kate Beckett is bored with life, but when a serial killer starts dedicating murders to her- someone enters the scene to aid with the investigation and her life may never be the same.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N- So I'm going to try this multi chapter thing again. This is season 2 AU and will definitely have some twists and turns. Hope you enjoy the ride! I need to say a HUGE thanks to Jo for being an awesome beta for this. Also- thanks to Nikki for brainstorming one of the plot points. Joanna thanks for making the cover-art and being a great cheerleader. All my other cheerleaders- you are awesome and you know who you are._

_Disclaimer- I do not own Castle or some of the dialogue that is taken from one of the episodes._

* * *

><p><strong><em>The More Things Change…<em>**

* * *

><p>…<em>the more they stay the same. Kate Beckett is bored with life, but when a serial killer starts dedicating murders to her- someone enters the scene to aid with the investigation and her life may never be the same. Season 2- AU Caskett meeting.<em>

* * *

><p><span><em><strong>Chapter 1<strong>_

Paper-work was finally all complete. Kate Beckett looked around the homicide floor of the Twelfth Precinct and sighed; she loved her job and loved finding justice for the victims' families, but she would rather there not be any victims at all. Nothing new going on today was, for all intents and purposes, a good thing. A slow day as a homicide detective meant one more life was spared; one more family whole.

Moving the completed files to the corner of her desk, Kate noticed today's news paper laying there. Someone must have left it out for her because it was open to the picture of her shaking hands with the Mayor. The Donaldson murder had been solved a couple weeks ago, but due to its high profile, the wealthy, well-connected family involved insisted that the Mayor should give the lead detective some sort of commendation. All involved had felt this was a wonderful idea; well, everyone aside from her. Captain Montgomery had basically forced her to play along since it would be great public relations for the police department. Beckett didn't mind the ceremony itself, but the media attention afterwards was more then she cared for. A homicide detective's picture pressed into an article; it made her uncomfortable.

The case may have injected a little more excitement than usual into her life, but it wouldn't be a permanent thing. Hopefully the buzz regarding the case would die down soon and it would take with it any additional publicity.

Once work started to calm down, maybe she could finally find time for a social life. She could have Lanie set her up with one of the many guys she was always mentioning. Beckett was sick of quiet; it was about time for loud. Loving her job didn't mean she was having fun! No, work was her life and when she eventually saw the inside of her apartment walls, her options were usually sleep, take a bath or read. Excitement was never on the menu.

Flipping through the pages of the paper, she landed on page six where she zoned in on a picture of her favorite author, Richard Castle. The picture was from his most recent book launch party. She rolled her eyes at the image of the famous playboy with a girl on each arm. Since he killed off Derrick Storm, there were rumors that he was having severe cases of writers' block, but obviously that was just celebrity gossip.

"Now that's _beyond_ loud," she muttered to herself with a laugh.

Once her life was back in order, a nice long bath and one of his books would be amazing. Smiling to herself, she folded the paper back up. Who was she kidding; she was set in her ways. Loud wasn't even on her radar.

* * *

><p>Hours later, the precinct was still quiet. She looked down at her father's watch and smiled in acknowledgement of the fact that she would actually get out of work at a decent hour today. Relaxing at home with some Chinese food, a long bath, and a glass of wine was exactly what she needed. Pulling out her cell phone, she dialed her favorite restaurant and placed her usual order. This way she could just swing by and pick it up on the way home, a nice and relaxing night ahead of her. Reaching up to switch her computer off, she looked toward her partners' unoccupied desks before looking up to see Ryan and Esposito walking out of the break room.<p>

"Who do you think is going to play Derrick Storm in the movie?" Ryan asked his partner as they walked back toward their desks and sat down.

"Oh, I have no clue. Beckett, what do you think?" Esposito called out to her from his chair.

"What do I think about, what?"

"They're making a Derrick Storm movie. I thought you were a big Richard Castle fan," Esposito smirked at her, earning himself a glare. Truth be told, she already knew all about the movie being made. She'd seen the news first hand on the fan website, but there was no way she'd admit that to them. Standing and putting her jacket on, she tried to blow off his accusation with a laugh.

"Yes, I enjoy reading his novels, but I don't have time to gossip about actors in a movie, like you two girls," she retorted as the phone rang. "Beckett."

"Yes, I'd like to report a murder—" And there went her idea of going home at a decent hour.

"Do you have an address?"

"Where's the fun in that?" Her eyes went wide at the sinister ring to his words. This wasn't just a normal caller.

"Okay—who is this?" Beckett snapped her fingers at her partners and motioned to the phone. Ryan nodded with recognition and started trying to trace the call for her.

"Oh—a fan."

"Tell me more about this murder—" She needed to work to keep him on the line long enough that they could pull the location from the call.

"Well, I did it and that's all you need to know." A click signaled the end of the call and she swallowed.

"Hello?"

Well this case was going to be anything but ordinary.

The voice on the phone had been haunting and the tone had been trying to tease her; almost like it was a game to him. So much for having a slow night… they sprang to action!

"Where did that call come from?" Beckett yelled over to her partners, sprinting toward the elevator.

"Got it—42nd and Lex," Ryan responded before hanging up the phone; right on her on heels.

"That's Grand Central Station," Esposito stated, looking astonished by the bizarre turn the last couple minutes had taken.

"What the hell is going on?" she mumbled to herself. So much for Chinese; it looked like her relaxing night would have to be put on hold for the moment.

* * *

><p>Grand Central Station was slow at this time of night but there were still travelers buzzing through, completely oblivious to the crime that had been committed in their midst.<p>

"Second booth is where the call came from," Ryan said as they walked toward the row of payphones. While the boys looked in the box where the call was traced, red pooling on the ground caught Beckett's attention.

"Guys, over here." She motioned to the stall at the end.

The body was male with multiple gunshot wounds. Crazy to think that someone could be murdered in such a public arena without anyone noticing it happened.

Before they knew it, the scene was swarming with crime scene investigators and Lanie started her initial exam of the victim. One of the investigators handed Beckett the man's wallet.

"Well, it wasn't a robbery. His ID, cards and cash are all still here," she confirmed before turning to her friend.

"If it wasn't obvious already, I'm going to say the cause of death is multiple GSWs, but I'll know more when I get him on the slab," the ME explained while she continued looking over the body and writing notations in the chart.

Turning back toward the phone booth, she looked around for possible evidence and tried to envision the crime. "I've got nothing and I don't think we're going to get anywhere until CSU finishes their sweep."

"Agreed. Doesn't look like anyone really stuck around to give any statements," Esposito shrugged as he examined the area.

"We're probably not going to get anywhere until morning. Give me a call if anything further pops up," Kate decided, before she did another quick survey and walked back to her car. Her dinner plans may have been ruined, but least she could go home and take a bath. Tomorrow was going to be a long day.

* * *

><p>Walking through her apartment, Kate looked around at her space. She had completely lucked out finding this place when she was fresh out of the academy. A little more then than she probably could afford at the time, she had poured spent most of her paycheck into the rent. It was completely worth it in the end, when she was able to come home after a long day and relax.<p>

Lighting a couple candles and pouring herself a large glass of red wine, she filled her bath with steaming water. After sprinkling the appropriate amount of bath salts into the tub, she went back into her bedroom and picked up the novel she was currently reading, off of her nightstand. Richard Castle's 'Flowers For Your Grave'. It was one of his older books, but it always held a special place in her heart. It was the book she had waited in line for over an hour to get signed - one of the many little tidbits that she would never admit to most people. She traced the letters of Richard Castle's name on the book jacket as she got lost in thought. He had been so kind when they met, but that was obviously his false persona. Like with today's page six article, she was continually reading blurbs about his dating life and wild partying.

As Kate slipped down into the water, she couldn't help the soft moan that escaped her lips as her muscles were surrounded by the heat, tension immediately vanishing from her system. She hated the thought of magic, but some days she swore that a nice hot bath held magical properties. Closing her eyes for a moment, she let her body wrap itself in the warmth. Maybe she'd just let Ryan and Esposito handle the case tomorrow and she could just hide in her tub all day.

If only.

* * *

><p>Lanie woke her early the next morning with a phone call, insisting that she head to the morgue right away. Apparently she had news on the case from last night and it wasn't something the boys could handle themselves.<p>

"Okay, Lanie. What do you got?" she asked when she arrived.

"Cause of death was multiple gunshot wounds to the chest as we suspected at the scene."

"And—so why the urgent wake-up call? This was something we could've handled over the phone." Kate tried to not sound irritated, but she had been in the middle of a really great dream when the phone rang.

"No, no. Come here and look at this. The body and cause of death wasn't interesting, but this—this is something new." She pulled the magnified glass over to the shell casing. "Look at the slugs."

"There's lettering on them—why?"

"You're the detective."

"Wait, they're hand etched. They spell something." Kate contemplated as she moved around the casings. "Kate—the bullets spell Kate. Lanie, he dedicated this murder to me!"

"Looks that way—apparently you have an admirer." It was always something, but the idea that someone was out there and had killed someone just to leave her those bullets... Creepy didn't even begin to describe it.

"Thanks, Lanie. Let me know if you find out anything else." Beckett grimaced and headed back to the homicide floor in order to fill her team in on the latest findings.

Beckett hadn't even made it back to her desk before Ryan informed her that there was a guy on the phone asking for Detective Beckett by name. Taking a deep breath and looking at her partners to make sure they were already tracing the line, she picked up the receiver.

"Beckett—"

"Kate—did you get the first part of my message?" His voice was so eerie; he was definitely enjoying this.

"Yes, I did."

"Well the second is at the Central Park carousel."

Damnit. Another body. Another murder. He was now serial and it was all a game. All to mess with her and she had no idea why.

* * *

><p>After finding the most recent victim at the carousel, they were greeted by multiple large black SUVs pulling up to the scene.<p>

"Great," Beckett muttered under her breath.

Ryan walked up next to her and grumbled, "Looks like our case is being taken over."

"Not if I have anything to do with it. Not when this psycho is contacting me," Beckett argued with the guys, standing her ground as the Feds approached.

Esposito shook his head, but flanked her on her other side as the agents walked closer to them. "They're coming in full force. Definitely taking over."

The Feds walked up to them to meet face to face in a standoff of sorts. No one spoke until a red-headed agent walked toward them in high heels similar to the ones Kate was wearing. "Kate Beckett, I presume."

"Detective Beckett."

"Yes, sorry. Detective Beckett, I'm Special agent Agent Jordan Shaw. I hear that you have a fan," Shaw quipped

"Yeah, a pretty deranged one, I guess," Beckett sighed before squaring off her shoulders and pushing her chin up. "While I'm flattered that you want to assist with this case, my people have already swept the scene and are taking the prints back to the lab."

"Here let me," the agent said, and took a quick picture of the print with her phone. "It's already being processed as we speak."

"Isn't that so cool!" A man exclaimed walking up behind Shaw. Oh no. It couldn't be.

"Ah yes. Detective Beckett, I'd like you to meet—"

"Richard Castle." The writer greeted, as he took Kate's hand and ran his thumb lightly over the top of her skin.

Seriously. What were the odds?

_**TBC**_


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N- For those that may be concerned- the case is not the main part of the story. This is an AU approach to it and only lasts a fraction of the story. It is used as the event for them to meet. The rest spirals on its own into a familiar yet flipped around tale._

_Thanks to Jo for being an awesome beta. Thanks for all the support and feedback I've received so far. _

_And because of that and since we all survived hiatus- here is an extra chapter earlier than I planned on posting it. Enjoy._

__Disclaimer- I do not own Castle or some of the dialogue that is taken from one of the episodes.__

* * *

><p><strong><em>The More Things Change…<em>**

* * *

><p>…<em>the more they stay the same. Kate Beckett is bored with life, but when a serial killer starts dedicating murders to her- someone enters the scene to aid with the investigation and her life may never be the same. Season 2- AU Caskett meeting.<em>

* * *

><p><span><em><strong>Chapter 2<strong>_

Kate Beckett looked around for a moment. The crime scene definitely seemed real. Ryan and Esposito avoided the situation by backing away slowly toward their car; that seemed both normal and real. But things felt like they were spinning; she felt like she was in the Twilight Zone. Yesterday morning she'd been at her desk, an ordinary day ahead of her, and now there was a serial killer out there who was dedicating murders to her, and she was standing here with Federal Agents and the ruggedly handsome playboy mystery writer, Richard Castle. She gave her bicep a quick pinch to confirm that this was neither a dream nor a nightmare. The pain she felt confirmed that this was all very strange indeed, but it was really happening.

"Richard Castle?" she asked, still in disbelief. How was the author of her favorite books standing before her flashing a gorgeous smile? No, now wasn't the time to fan-girl. She was Detective Kate Beckett and she was in the middle of a murder investigation. Get a grip, Beckett!

"In the flesh," he smirked at her.

"Can I ask why a mystery writer is at my crime scene?"

"I'm following—" Rick started to answer her, but Agent Shaw quickly interrupted him.

"Mr. Castle has been shadowing me for research on his next book. His consulting has been surprisingly useful with profiling some of my recent cases," she explained, but Kate couldn't help but roll her eyes.

"That's fine and all, but don't let him get in the way. This guy is contacting me and I don't want your little helper to be a distraction," she snapped.

"He won't," Shaw promised, but the Beckett just kept her eyes fixed on Castle's.

"He'd better not," Kate repeated, before she broke their stare.

"You know I'm standing right here," Castle retorted. Kate shook the fog from her head. She needed to get her mind focused on the case and ignore the fluttering butterflies that were forming her in stomach. Truth be told, she was always smitten with the author, but that was always _fantasy_—not reality. Focusing on the tasks at hand and the fact that the Feds were taking over her case, Kate put her game face on.

"Fine, Mr. Castle. I'm glad Agent Shaw feels that you've been helpful to her, but unfortunately your reputation precedes you so I don't want your celebrity status interfering with this investigation."

"I'll be on my best behavior," Castle vowed with a grin.

"Okay, then." The group walked back to the scene, toward Lanie who was moving in their direction.

"Kate?"

"Yeah, Lanie?"

"CSU finished with the scene and they were able to pull the slugs from the back of the carousel," the ME explained.

"All four slugs? Any—" Beckett started, before Lanie finished her thought.

"All four slugs, yes and they had similar markings, like the other ones. These four spelled out the word _will_." Kate tensed with the discovery but if Lanie could tell, she didn't draw any attention to it. "We're transporting the body back now. I'll let you know if we find anything else."

"Thanks," she nodded and turned back to Shaw and Castle.

"What did the first set say?" Castle asked, to Beckett's annoyance.

"The first set spelled Kate—" She responded, her voice quiet. The killer was trying to tell her something through bullets. Slightly disturbing. And what was it?

"So he's sending you a message. Kate will—Kate will, what?" Castle questioned, out loud, but almost like he was talking to himself.

"That's what we're trying to figure out, Mr. Castle." She turned to Shaw with a slight glare. "You're right, his insight is so helpful," she joked with a smirk.

"Once again—right here." This time, Kate managed a strained laughed. She hadn't decided yet if he would actually be as helpful as Agent Shaw had led on, but he was fun to mess with and he was definitely not bad to look at.

"Alright, Detective, if you're done harassing Castle, I'd like to see the scene. My people will want to look around. I'll be over to set up shop at your precinct when I'm done. Also, one of my agents will assist your ME with the body as well," Jordan outlined the plan to Beckett's irritation. The agent was stepping on her toes already.

"There's really no need. Lanie is perfectly capable—"

"I'm not saying she isn't, but we're now working together on this now. We're going to use all the tools we have available."

"Fine. While you look around here and finish up your review of the scene, I'm going to go back with my people to start working on what we have so far," Beckett motioned to her car; Ryan and Esposito were already driving away.

"Okay Detective, we can swap information in a bit."

"Wait up—" She heard him call as she reached her car.

"Castle, what are you doing?"

"Agent Shaw said I may be more helpful with you back at the precinct," Castle answered, which earned an eye roll from Beckett.

"Of course she did—"

"Detective Beckett, I just want to help. I know what you've probably heard about me, but I'll have you know that the media grossly exaggerates my life. I'll be on my best behavior with this case. I promise."

She rubbed her eyes while she thought about it, and sighed. He seemed sincere. "Okay, Castle—let's see why Agent Shaw keeps you around." He beamed at her, before he hopped into the passenger seat.

* * *

><p>The ride to the Precinct was awkward and silent to say the least. Kate was pouting - internally, at least - about the fact that Agent Shaw had dumped her tag-along off on her to babysit. Worse yet, was the fact that this sidekick was staring at her with unbelievable blue eyes. Sure she was annoyed, but she was still human, and his piercing gaze...<p>

"So, Detective Beckett—" Castle hesitated, breaking the quiet.

"Castle, you can call me Kate or everyone at the precinct calls me Beckett," she replied as politely as she could stomach. This whole case had her on edge, but it wasn't his fault.

"Okay, Beckett. You know you can call me Rick," he said while flashing her a million dollar smile. He was definitely trying to pile on the charm with her, but she had no plans on falling for his game.

"Castle will be just fine," she smirked and then quickly schooled her features, turning back to the road ahead.

"To each their own. So, Beckett, how does someone like you become a cop?"

"Someone like me?" Kate snapped her response at him.

"Yeah. Beautiful, intelligent. Normally your type would become lawyers not cops." Oh so he was going to play this game with her. It wasn't the first time a man had questioned her life choices and she was sure it wouldn't be the last. But the last thing she needed today was to have a therapy session about her career goals with her favorite crime novelist.

"Yeah well, things happen. And here I am. What about Jordan? She wouldn't be a typical FBI agent," Beckett deflected the question back at him.

"Well Jordan is Jordan. A no nonsense Federal Agent—you just seem different." His eyes sparkled, his curiosity almost childlike and if it was directed toward anyone else or anything else, she may have found it endearing. However, endearing could only take him so far. He didn't get to learn about her father's death and why she chose law enforcement. No, those were the details that she kept close to the vest.

"Like you said Castle, I'm just a cop. Not different. Let's just focus on the case and not worry about psychoanalyzing me." Her voice had a harder edge to it than she would have liked. When she saw Castle wince from the corner of her eye; she knew that her message was delivered, loud and clear.

"As you wish, Detective," he replied, his tone defeated. He turned to stare out of the window, and the rest of the ride was made in silence.

* * *

><p>The Feds had the conference room completely taken over by the time Beckett and Castle arrived at the Precinct. Officers and agents alike were working on gathering all the evidence they could find on this case while trying to avoid bumping into each other. When Agent Shaw eventually made her way to the Precinct, she made it known to Beckett's team that since the FBI had claimed jurisdiction over the case, all leads and evidence needed to go through her; Beckett exchanged a glance with Captain Montgomery, accepting defeat.<p>

Beckett walked into the conference room to check the status of any new leads, forcing herself to stay in there in spite of Castle's drooling over all the fancy technology that Jordan had brought into the investigation.

Things finally started to progress when they were able to trace the print from the scene to Donald Salt who ended up being a random ex-con who sold his pinky finger to the killer for a couple thousand dollars. They would've been back at square one if it wasn't for the fact that Beckett had noticed his finger was wrapped oddly. Within the medical gauze, Kate found a random string of numbers and a random scrap of what appeared to be newspaper. The new evidence left everyone completely stumped. She didn't have anything against Agent Shaw personally, but while all the agents focused on their smart board to collate the answer for them; Beckett moved back to the bullpen to work at the white board.

"Did she kick you out of there?" Esposito motioned to the conference room.

"No—the white boards just always work better for me. They help me think." Kate sighed as she rubbed the heels of her palm into her eye sockets.

"You didn't get much sleep last night," he assumed.

"Not really. But I'm fine—just need some more coffee."

"Well then it looks like my mind reading abilities are intact," Castle stated while rounding the corner. Esposito laughed in her direction, he was getting too much enjoyment out of watching Castle irritate her all day today.

"Cas—Castle?"

"Good luck, Beckett," her partner smirked, before leaving the pair.

"I was watching you from the other room."

"You were watching me?" Beckett asked, confused.

"Well—yeah, but not in a creepy way. But anyway, they weren't getting anywhere and you seemed low on energy. And well you didn't seem like the type that would back off or take a break so I decided to sneak out and get some coffee," Castle rambled, obviously nervous that she would snap at him again.

"You got coffee? You know we have a coffee machine?"

"Yes, I ran to get coffee. Real coffee. I tried a sip of that stuff that you claim to be coffee from your break room. I wouldn't let my worst enemy even drink that stuff." He smiled at her, handing over a cardboard travel mug. Beckett gave him a small smile and took a sip.

"Mmmm. Thank you, Castle. That was kind of sweet. And this coffee is amazing. How did you guess vanilla?"

"Took a shot. You seemed like someone that enjoyed just a hint of sweetness against the bite of a latte." Castle gave her a quick wink that caused her cheeks to faintly turn pink. She would deny it to her death if anyone ever pointed it out, however; Richard Castle would not charm her.

"Vanilla lattes are my favorite, so I'd say that's a pretty good guess." She took another quick sip, trying her best to suppress the moan that wanted to escape. This coffee far surpassed anything that they had on the homicide floor.

They sat in comfortable silence for a bit; both working through things in their own heads while staring up at the murder board. She had to admit; she may have judged Castle a little too harshly today when they first met. He didn't seem to be the cocky playboy all the time. Moments like this; bringing her coffee, keeping her company; it was actually kind of nice.

"I just wish I could figure out what those damn numbers mean," her thoughts finally spilled from her mouth.

"They could just be a random string of numbers. He might just be trying to get into your head."

"No. It's a game to him. He's taunting me, but the code means something. He obviously thinks I can figure it out," Kate explained in a daze, her sight still set on the numbers on the board.

"You really don't back down," he observed.

"Most would call it stubborn," she admitted.

"No—you're determined. Well maybe a little stubborn, but that's what makes you great. I've heard about you—I've read up. The way you get inside the case—you speak for the victims. Bring justice for their families…"

"It's my job," Beckett cut him off before he got too close. He was a novelist so research and observation was part of the job, but they had just met. She wasn't going to allow him to unravel why she was this way. Way too personal.

"It's more than that—" Castle tried to continue, but she shut him down.

"I appreciate the compliments, but we need to figure out what this is about." She stood up and started pacing in front of the board. Something needed to click. "Why those numbers—and why was there newspaper?"

"Newspaper?"

"Yeah- a scrap of newspaper fell from the dressing on his finger. He said that the man figured I would notice—maybe he is toying with me. Maybe you're right. Maybe none of this means a damn thing!"

"Maybe not. If this guy is as obsessed with you as we think—I have a thought…"

* * *

><p>Castle ended up figuring out the code the killer left them stood for words from the Ledger article written about Kate earlier in the week. Each number represented a paragraph and word within the piece that spelled out "I will kill someone else before midnight tonight unless you stop me." They had scrambled to work out where he was or who the next victim would be, but in the end they hadn't figured out a damn thing when they heard the phone ring.<p>

"Hello?"

"Kate? You were supposed to stop me. I wanted you to stop me." The killer's voice boomed through the line.

"Tell me where you are," she pleaded, but she knew it wouldn't be that simple.

"Will you come alone?" The question was a trick, she knew it, but maybe it was a shot at him.

"Yes, just you and me. We can figure this out. I can help you. You just need to trust me."

"Tell me something. How does it feel to know that you have failed?" The line went dead, but not before they heard a woman's screams in the background.

Kate's eyes went wide as she placed the phone back down into the cradle. She had failed. He was killing again because of her. Even though it was all a game, she couldn't help but feel a little responsible as she developed a sinking feeling in her gut.

"You know it's not your fault," Castle whispered to her while the other agents and officers tried to get a location off the call. She gave him a tight smile and tried her best to not roll her eyes.

"I know you mean well, Castle, but not now," she sighed, and shook her head as she walked back to her desk. She hadn't even made it all the way there, before she heard Shaw call out to her.

"We've got a location!" Shaw, Castle and the rest of the Feds were storming out of the conference room toward the elevators.

"Great. Text me the address. We'll meet you there." Kate shouted back as she motioned to Ryan and Esposito to get moving to their cars.

By the time they arrived at the scene, all that was left was a large pool of blood. So large that there was no way that anyone could have survived after losing that significant of an amount. The mystery lay with the fact that their suspect had taken the body with him this time. Next to the blood, they found a shoe and some hair along with four shell casings. It was obvious that the woman put up a fight, but she'd left no actual clue to her identity, and there were no other clues to why the suspect decided to take the victim with him.

"It doesn't make sense," Castle stated looking around the area.

"He's changing up his M.O. Makes him more dangerous—" Kate explained, looked down at the stained cement.

"Structure is entirely clear. No body left at the scene," one of the other FBI agents reported to Jordan.

"Where the hell did he put her?" Jordan wondered, looking around.

"He put her in his trunk—blood trail ends right here next to these tire treads," Beckett concluded, raking over the evidence in front of them.

"So he waited for her, shot the victim, threw her in the trunk and drove away," Castle assumed, writing the story in his head.

"All right. I'll get my people to start running plates of all vehicles that may have entered and left this structure today," Kate decided, while reaching for her cell phone.

"Don't bother, Detective. My people are already on it and let's face it—I have far more people than you do," Agent Shaw told her with a smile. Kate could tell that she wasn't completely trying to be difficult, but it was a bit of a power trip. She was showing everyone involved, that she was in charge of this investigation. "Why don't you go home and get some rest? We have a protective detail on your apartment so you should be fine."

"That's really not necessary," she denied, but the conviction in her words was lost on Shaw.

"It wasn't a suggestion, it was an order. You're no good to me or this team if you're burnt out. Now head home, Detective."

Kate huffed with annoyance of the situation and stormed away from the scene without another word to anyone. She was a detective for the NYPD and she didn't appreciate an FBI agent swooping in to tell her what to do.

* * *

><p>By the time she'd made it to her apartment building she hadn't cooled off and she told the protective detail on her place that they were no longer needed. Agent Shaw may not let her continue working tonight, but she'd be damned if she'd allow her to have someone babysitting outside her place.<p>

Her mind was still reeling as she changed into leggings and a t-shirt. The idea of taking a bath tonight wouldn't calm her down, so she didn't even bother. The day had been insanely long. The FBI had stolen her case. She'd met Castle, been irritated by Castle, and then actually had to admit that her favorite novelist was partially helpful with the events of the case. All this in one day. She wouldn't have believed it if someone had told her this yesterday.

A knock at her door pulled her from her thoughts. She glanced at her cell phone, but she didn't see any missed calls or texts. At this time of night, there wouldn't be anyone that would just stop by. Shit, maybe she shouldn't have removed that protective detail.

Taking a deep breath, she grabbed her gun and headed for the door. Slowly raising her weapon, she swung the door open, unprepared for what she saw.

"Castle. Cas—Castle!? What the hell?"

_**TBC**_

_**Thanks for reading! Happy Castle Monday!**_


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N- __Thanks to Jo for being an awesome beta and for telling me that my idea wasn't crazy. Thanks to Joanna and Megan for being great encouragement with this. And thanks to all the readers of my little story._

_Disclaimer- I do not own Castle or some of the dialogue that is taken from one of the episodes._

* * *

><p><strong><em>The More Things Change...<em>**

* * *

><p><em>...the more they stay the same. Kate Beckett is bored with life, but when a serial killer starts dedicating murders to her- someone enters the scene to aid with the investigation and her life may never be the same. Season 2- AU Caskett meeting.<em>

* * *

><p><span><em><strong>Chapter 3<strong>_

Blinking in disbelief, Kate lowered her gun so she didn't _accidentally _shoot the uninvited guest at her door.

"I thought you could use the company and some wine," he greeted, motioning to the bottle in his hands on the way to her kitchen.

"Um—wha—what?" She stammered a bit, staring at the writer making himself home in her apartment. "Castle, why are you here? I mean, how are you here? Who told you where I lived?"

"The Medical Examiner. The one from the crime scene—Lanie? She said you guys were friends and that you wouldn't mind me stopping by—" he called over to her, opening one of her cabinets. She was still in a state of shock standing with her hand on the doorknob.

"Of course she did—" Beckett muttered to herself with a roll of her eyes and retreated to her couch.

"Did you say something?"

"No, but seriously Castle. I was just about to go to sleep," she replied, watching as he poured out two large glasses of wine. Turning her head to the file on her coffee table, she jumped a bit when she found him next to her a moment later.

"Here," he smiled, handing her the glass.

"No—no, Castle. I'm really fine," she tried to object. Wine in her apartment with Richard Castle; this was the stuff of fantasy, but she lived in the real world—not fantasyland.

"Jordan said you needed to decompress. Nothing decompresses like a 2000 chateaunef-du-pape," he countered with a wink. She could tell he was really trying to lay on the charm, but what she caught was a glimpse of something else in his eyes. He almost seemed nervous; maybe the charming playboy façade was just that, an act.

"Oh, well. If Special Agent _Shaw _said so," Beckett teased with a roll of her eyes.

"I thought Jordan said she put a protective detail on your place?" Rick asked, ignoring her previous objection.

"Yeah—I sent them home when I got into my apartment." She shrugged as Castle's jaw dropped.

"She had them here for a reason, Kate. Jordan was trying to keep you safe. It's her job."

"Oh, it's Kate now?" she countered, avoiding the Jordan praise.

"Well, I figured we're outside of your precinct, enjoying a glass of wine. Kate was more appropriate." She frowned, unwilling to acknowledge the flutter of nervousness in her stomach that made itself known when he used her first name.

"Uh, yeah—I guess it's fine. But, Castle, why are you here?" she asked, changing the topic back to safer topics; work—and the case.

"Why did you send the detail home?" he repeated, meeting her eyes as he asked the question, and creating a spark of tension in the room.

"Castle, I'm a cop. I can protect myself. I don't need your muse sending people to babysit me. Is that why you're here? Did Shaw send you?"

"I wouldn't call Shaw my muse, per se. And contrary to popular belief, I don't listen to everything Jordan tells me to do. So, no, she didn't send me. I just honestly wanted to make sure you were okay. I've seen enough cases following her around to know that usually the killer doesn't leave the object of his obsession alone. The obsession drives them until the final confrontation…" his voice broke away and he looked down at his glass.

"That's considerate, really. But, I can take care of myself. I'm perfectly capable." Maybe it was the confidence of her voice or the strength in her words; but his head popped back up to look at her. The way he looked at her—it was electric.

"Not saying you're not. You seem—" Castle paused for a moment—he must have felt it too. That tension; too much, too soon. She watched him gulp down a quick drink of his wine and continued. "Yes, you seem more than capable." He gazed at her for another second, but Beckett avoided his eyes.

Taking one small sip of her wine, she scooted a little further away from him. They just met today yet there was something about the man sitting on her couch that had her smitten. No, she wasn't smitten. This was just a case and he was just consulting. Once it was closed, he would be out of her hair and she would go back to her normal, structured life. The silence of the room was putting her more and more on edge.

"Can I ask you a question?" At least he cut the tension.

"You just did—but I'm assuming that wasn't what you meant," she smirked.

"Why do you wear a man's watch?" Oh. Not the question she was expecting. Though, she wasn't entirely sure what she thought he was going to ask, but her watch? Furthest thing from her mind.

"It's my father's," Beckett faltered for a moment but then she saw the flash of concern in his eyes. "He died almost 11 years ago."

"Kate—I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked."

"No, Castle. It's fine. It was just an accident, or so we were told," she replied, looking down at her hands and fidgeting with her nails.

"We?" Kate looked up from his question. Apparently they weren't dropping the subject.

"My mom and I. She was my rock throughout the entire ordeal. I was really close with my parents, so I was devastated to lose my Dad." The confidence in her words was wavering. She hardly knew this man and yet she was baring her soul to him.

"Seems completely understandable when you lose a parent. But why weren't you convinced it was an accident?" he pressed.

"I am now. My mom and I went to family counseling sessions—helped ease some of the conspiracy theories that I had racing around in my nineteen year old head. It all just seemed so off at that time—" His expression as she spoke was completely sincere; his brow knitted together, and he seemed worried about her.

"Is that why you became a cop?" Castle's expression changed as his eyes lit up with curiosity; like he was trying to write her story in his head.

"Partially. I wanted to help others find answers when their family members were killed. Maybe find them answers that I could never truly find. But the other part was my Mom," she sighed.

"She wanted you to become a cop?"

"No, of course not! She wanted me to be a lawyer like she is, but I didn't want to live in her shadow. She's amazing at her job and I knew I could never compete with that. Plus I still had a slight dose of rebellion coursing through my veins—so that played into it a bit." She tried to joke, but anytime she talked about her Dad the pang of remorse and devastation hit her hard. "Just wish I hadn't been in my rebellious phase when he died—my wild child phase was the last thing he knew about me."

"Beckett—" Castle tried, but she cut him off with a shake of her head, trying to push away her emotion by clearing her throat. "Kate?" She gave him a small, tight smile.

"I'm fine, Castle. So, the case…"

"Yes—sure. The case." Castle nodded, but she could see a flash of something in his features. Confusion? Concern?

"It doesn't make sense. Why did he take the body? He left all the other victims where they were killed. Why not this girl?" She flipped through the file, her teeth grazing against her lip.

"He's changing it up," he considered, apparently content to move on to the safer conversation topics.

"Or she's special?" Kate wondered, but her thoughts were cut off as he continued to talk.

"Jordan didn't think that she was special."

"Well if you're so impressed by Shaw and her smart boards and her fancy technology—" Shoving the file onto her table, she glared at him with a little more annoyance then was probably appropriate for someone she had just met. Someone whom she had just spilled her secrets to…

"The FBI has more tools at their disposal, but Kate, it's not a competition. Jordan works differently than you from what I've observed."

"Then go build theory with her, Castle. I didn't ask you to come over to my place," she snapped, sounding a bit like a jealous girlfriend. The words were falling from her mouth before she could suck them back in. What was this man doing to her?

"I have built plenty of theories with her. She's intelligent and that's why I pulled so many strings to be able to follow her, but Kate—"

"That's great, Castle. Then why aren't you with her now. Go build some more theory with her so I can go to bed." She stood, her heart thudding in her chest as she struggled to rein her anger in.

"I'm here because just watching you work is inspiring. The computers do most of the heavy lifting with Jordan and her team; but not you, Kate. It's all in your mind. Today has been fascinating to be able to see you in action…" She had no clue how he had done it, but in a matter of seconds she went from fuming to flattered. Kate's cheeks flushed with embarrassment and she bit her lip to suppress the smile that wanted to break free. "And it doesn't hurt that you're hot."

And there it was; she had been waiting for it, and now the other shoe had dropped.

"Castle!" She glared at him and shook her head, mustering as much calm as she could while motioning to the door for his exit. "I'm going to bed. So thanks for all the kind words and pick up lines, but it's been a long day."

"Oh, I'm not leaving. I'm here to protect you," he objected, resituating himself onto the couch.

"What—with your vast arsenal of rapier wit?"

"There is a madman gunning for you and you called off the protective detail. I am _not_ going to leave you alone."

"Okay, fine. I'm too tired to argue. But if I see that doorknob turn, I will have you know, Mr. Castle, that I sleep with a gun," she replied, a tight smile forming on her face.

"Understood." He smirked at her while adjusting a pillow on the couch. In shock, Kate stared at him as he laid down onto the cushions, before she willed her body to move into her bedroom. How was this her life? Richard Castle was going to sleep on her sofa to be her bodyguard? Pinching the back of her hand hard, she jumped from the pain.

Yep—still real.

* * *

><p>Cracking her eyelids open, Beckett woke up in a haze. Still half asleep, yet at the same time she was entirely too aware that Richard Castle was sleeping in her living room. She turned toward her nightstand to see the clock's digital display. Seven A.M. It looked like she couldn't avoid leaving her room any longer. Agent Shaw had told her to go home last night, but now—she had a body to find.<p>

Tip-toeing out of her room, Kate craned her neck out her doorway to see if she could catch sight of the uninvited houseguest. She was surprised to find the couch was empty with no evidence of him. He must have left already, to her — disappointment — relief? She took a deep breath, wiped the remaining sleep out of her eyes, and made a beeline to the kitchen to make coffee.

Oh.

He was standing there in her kitchen. And she was in her pajamas. _Perfect_!

"You're still here—and you're making pancakes…" she stuttered in disbelief.

"I was hoping for bacon and eggs, but your eggs were expired and your bacon had something furry on it," he responded, making a face regarding the ancient food in her fridge.

"Um—yeah well I mostly order in. Coffee?" she sighed, not ready for mental sparring with Mr. Martha Stewart before her first cup.

"Yes, coffee's brewed. I think your filter's broken though. I can order you a new one if you'd like?" She stared at him. He had made himself completely at home in her kitchen and now he was going to order her a part for her coffee maker? What? This man, who had been a complete stranger to her less than two days ago, was cooking her breakfast like it was the most normal thing in the world. At this point, the amount of times she had pinched herself—it was surprising she hadn't started forming bruises.

"Castle—you're talking a lot. And I haven't even had a sip, let alone a cup," she retorted, regretting the outburst when he winced.

"Sorry. I just wanted to make you a good breakfast before you headed into the precinct. Figured, long day and all?" He gave her a hesitant smile. Damn, this man really was sweet and he was actually trying to be a nice guy. She really needed to set aside her preconceived notions of him and his status. Maybe without her blinders on, she could admit he was being helpful.

"Thank you, Castle. This was all very thoughtful. Kind of perfect." She patted his hand after taking a drink of her freshly poured mug.

"Not perfect, yet. I forgot the paper!" Of course, the newspaper would be an important part of the writer's morning.

"Castle, it's fine. We don't have time for the paper—I still have a body to find," she objected as he opened the front door.

"Oh!" He jumped back with a startled screech. "Looks like it found you."

Shit!

* * *

><p>Before long her apartment was swarming with NYPD and FBI alike; questioning, gathering evidence, and examining the body. Ryan and Esposito couldn't control their smirks when they arrived at the scene to find Beckett in pajamas and Castle in last night's clothes. She knew she would <em>NEVER<em> hear the end of this.

"Well isn't this cozy," Ryan laughed as Beckett stood uncomfortably in her own kitchen.

"Ryan—just take my statement so I can get dressed for the day," Kate snapped at him, while bringing an arm across her body, feeling a bit exposed.

"So you had just gotten up—"

"Yeah, Castle just finished making breakfast and he went to the door…"

"Castle, huh? I didn't realize you were that close. I thought you just met him yesterday…" he questioned with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes, we did just meet yesterday…" Beckett responded, ignoring any implication he was trying to make.

"I see. Met yesterday and this morning _Castle_ was making you breakfast," he chuckled before schooling his features. "What kind of breakfast?"

"I'm sorry?" Beckett questioned - or apologized. At this point she really wasn't sure what she was saying or why. Ryan knew her, but she also feared that both he and Esposito had the wrong idea about what had - or hadn't! - happened between her and Castle.

"What kind of breakfast was he making?"

"Pancakes." Kate looked at Ryan. Why did the type of breakfast food matter to her statement?

"Well isn't that domestic," he smirked. Maybe, they just enjoyed messing with her. She was definitely leaning toward that as a theory because it appeared that Esposito was having just as much fun getting Castle's statement.

"Ryan—cut it out. From what I can gather, the killer had about a three hour window to leave the body. The paper is delivered at four and we were up around seven," Beckett explained, trying to avoiding anymore of Ryan's mock judgment.

"And what time exactly did you and Mr. Castle go to bed last night?" he asked trying to hold back his laugh.

"I think we're done here." She glared at him and walked over to take another sip of coffee. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Agent Shaw pull Castle off to the side; she didn't appear to be too pleased.

"I told you to go home Castle. I didn't tell you to sleep with one of the Detectives on the case," she hissed loudly enough that Beckett could hear the conversation.

"We didn't sleep together, Jordan. Not that it's any of your business, but I came over out of concern for her safety. I slept on her couch. End of story."

"I promised you wouldn't interfere with the case. Don't make a liar out of me!" She stormed away toward the body, when Beckett caught Castle's eye. He looked a bit like a toddler who had just been reprimanded for not playing well with others. Mouthing the word, '_Sorry'_ to the writer, she met the Agent by the body ready for her wrath.

"Shaw—nothing happened. Castle just stopped by yesterday for support and to talk about the case."

"Detective, I don't care what you and Castle do. I just don't want it disrupting finding this killer," Jordan replied, her voice even, void of emotion.

"Once again—there's nothing, so it won't." She had never been in a position before where she had been lectured for being anything less than professional on a job. This disapproving stare that Shaw was giving her was more than infuriating. If it hadn't been for, Castle showing up uninvited—she could shoot him. Hell maybe she should have when he'd shown up unannounced. But he was standing off to the side, and he looked almost as upset as she was feeling. This definitely wasn't his fault.

"So I guess we know now why he took the body," Jordan said, snapping back into the case.

"I know where you live," Kate almost whispered.

"That and he's blaming this one on you. You didn't stop him—so this is your fault," she explained. Kate knew she was just profiling the suspect, but it didn't make her feel any better about the situation. She should have caught this guy by now. He was just toying with her; making her look like an idiot.

"Once they get the slugs back at the morgue; hopefully we'll have more to go on." Beckett snapped out of her internal rambling. They needed to find this guy before he could hurt anyone else.

"Yes, I'll meet you two back at the precinct. Once you're dressed of course," she commented, leaving Beckett to hope that it would be the final dig on the circumstance they had found themselves in this morning. She needed to get some distance between Castle and the domesticity of the situation as soon as possible.

After everyone cleared from her apartment, Castle hung back for a moment to say goodbye.

"You know I can still finish making you the pancakes?" he said before she shot him down with a glare. "Okay that's a _no _to pancakes—got it." Castle laughed, as she stormed off to her room to get changed.

* * *

><p>By the time she made it into the precinct, she found a fresh travel mug of coffee waiting for her on her desk. A small smile broke out onto her face at the thoughtfulness of Jordan's shadow, but no one was anywhere in the bullpen. With all the Feds huddled in the conference room, Beckett figured this would be the perfect time to run down to the morgue to check in with Lanie.<p>

"So I heard you and a certain mystery writer were making pancakes when the body dropped." Lanie smirked at her as Kate walked through the door.

"Doesn't anyone say hello anymore?"

"Fine. Hi, Kate. Now spill!" she demanded, turning to face her friend instead of the corpse on the table.

"Lanie, there's nothing to tell. After finding out where I lived, no thanks to you—He came over because he wanted to help with the case. Then he refused to leave—then the body and now I'm here," Kate explained as straightforwardly as possible.

"I have a feeling you're leaving out a few details. But fine, keep it all inside until you get an ulcer the size of Cleveland," she quipped.

"He's sweet, but he's just here to help out with this case. When it's done, he'll be gone and life will go back to normal." At this point, Kate wasn't sure if she was trying to convince Lanie or herself.

"You mean go back to being boring! Girl, I haven't seen you with anyone in years. And what about that guy I tried to set you up with a couple months ago?" Lanie countered.

"The firefighter?"

"Yes- the firefighter that saved a _puppy_! And you managed to focus solely on the case while you were at dinner with him."

Yeah that had been an awkward evening. The guy had been hot, but they had had nothing in common and her mind couldn't focus on anything aside from the investigation she had been in the middle of.

"You found out about that?" Kate winced at the thought of what her date had to say about her.

"Of course I did. Brad gave me an earful. Told me the next time I set him up with someone it better be with someone who was actually interested in being out on a date."

"Ouch. That bad?"

"Yes! I'm just saying. From what the boys were telling me, this guy seems fun and you could definitely use some of that in your life."

"Like I said Lanie, he's just here for the case. He's not interested in some cop when he could have his pick of any random woman," Kate paused and gave her a half hearted laugh. "I will bet you that when we catch this killer—I will never see or hear the name Richard Castle again unless it's on a book jacket."

"You never know—"

"_Anyway_—what was on the slugs?" Kate interrupted, moving them back on topic.

"I already told Agent Shaw and your writer boy—" she smirked with a raised eyebrow which earned her an eye roll. "The slugs spelled out_ burn_…"

"Kate will burn…" Beckett cringed at the final message. That was a haunting threat.

"You okay?" she questioned. Shaking her head, Beckett tried to remove the dread from her system.

"Yeah, that's just a little creepy. Anything else you found on the body?"

"Embalming fluid," she said.

"Embalming fluid? Odd. I'm going to go see if Shaw has anything further."

"Yep, but Kate. Seriously think about it. He could be good—" Lanie started to circle back to her lecture, but Beckett shot down her train of thought.

"There's nothing to think about, Lanie. I'll talk to you later." She called over her shoulder on the way out the door.

* * *

><p>Reaching the homicide floor, Kate found Espo and Ryan hovering by her desk. They both had a look of concern on their faces and she could only assume that they had heard what the bullets spelled out. Sure they were partners, but at the end of the day, those two were more like protective brothers.<p>

"Guys?" She glanced between them, neither one seeming to know what to say.

"Beckett—" Shaw called over to her from the conference room. Kate turned back to the guys and gave them a tight smile.

"I'm okay. Let's just catch this guy." She gave them an encouraging nod and headed to be briefed by the FBI. When she entered the room, she saw Montgomery off in one corner strategizing with a couple of agents, but Shaw waved her over to the board.

"We were able to piece together and trace the evidence to Ben Conrad," Shaw explained, catching Beckett up on everything she had missed while she was talking with Lanie at the morgue.

"Known address?"

"Confirming it now. Let's go catch this bastard," Jordan responded, turning to her team to finalize the plan. Kate looked around the room and saw Castle hanging back in the corner. Intrigued to why the nosy crime novelist would be avoiding the front line of the investigation, Beckett paced back to check on him.

"Kate will burn?" Castle whispered to her, the worry apparent on his features.

"You heard?" she asked, trying to laugh it off.

"Of course I heard. Beckett—" She shook her head and stopped him from whatever he planned on saying.

"Hey, not everyone can have as many fans as you do, Castle," she said, trying to keep her smile sincere to cheer him up. "It's fine. We know who he is now. Go help Shaw. Let's catch Mr. Conrad."

_**TBC**_

_**Once again wanted to mention- that this case is almost done but the story has a long way to for reading :)**_


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N- __Thanks to Jo for all the beta help. Thanks to Joanna and Megan for being awesome cheerleaders. And thank you to everyone who is reading, following and reviewing. They all make me smile. I appreciate all the support!_

_Disclaimer- I do not own Castle or some of the dialogue that is taken from one of the episodes._

* * *

><p><strong><em>The More Things Change…<em>**

* * *

><p>…<em>the more they stay the same. Kate Beckett is bored with life, but when a serial killer starts dedicating murders to her- someone enters the scene to aid with the investigation and her life may never be the same. Season 2- AU Caskett meeting.<em>

* * *

><p><span><em><strong>Chapter 4<strong>_

The caravan arrived at the scene and the Feds flooded into the streets. Beckett and her team followed close behind, but Shaw stopped her before Kate could finish putting on her gear.

"You can holster your gun. You're staying here," she instructed and then turned to Castle. "You too, Castle."

"Agent Shaw—" Beckett tried to protest.

"Wait, what? This is the final take down!" Castle objected.

"You're the target, Detective. I'm not going to have you compromise the team and Castle—this should be nothing new to you. When have I ever let you follow me into a take down?" Shaw said, walking away to meet the rest of her team near the building's entrance. Castle glared toward the structure.

"I will never get used to her freezing me out like that," he pouted. Beckett looked at him; opened her mouth for a second in disbelief. Shaking her head, she found her words.

"Freezing you out? I'm a _cop_ and I'm not able to go up there. You're just a writer who's shadowing her—I think if anyone has a right to be offended, it's me!"

"No—no. I get it. It's just, I feel useless down here," Castle whined.

"Shaw's right to bench me and also one hundred percent correct in not letting you go into the line of fire. I'd do the same thing if you were following me," she said.

The pair watched as Agent Shaw and her team stormed the building, but only moments later her voice boomed through the walkie-talkie.

"Conrad's dead." Well that was certainly unexpected. She turned to Castle, whom seemed just as shocked as she felt.

"He's dead." She paused for a moment, gathering her thoughts. "Guess it's safe to go in now. Let's go check it out."

"I thought you'd never ask," Castle smirked, motioning to the building, but her skin crawled as they stepped out of the vehicle. The feeling that they were being watched…

"Castle, does something seem off to you?"

"Now that you mention it—I feel a little bit like we're in a fishbowl at the moment." He didn't even finish speaking before she noticed something out of the corner of her eye.

"Hey—" she stated, fighting to keep emotion off her face. "Don't make any drastic movements, but there is someone at the top of Conrad's building looking down at us—and the person appears to have binoculars."

"I'll text Jordan and make her aware." Castle reached for his cell. They stood on the street corner next to the structure for what seemed like forever before Shaw responded. "She said to come up to the apartment. It's safer than being sitting ducks on the street—she's sending an agent up to the roof…" He read to her.

Beckett looked around for a second more, mentally noting anything she could, and she headed into the building. When they walked into Conrad's apartment, agents were already sweeping the area for any amount of evidence they could find.

"I should get CSU to come out here," Kate told Shaw when she found her near the body.

"No need, Detective. My agents will gather all the information we need—along with whatever is going on upstairs on the roof."

"Looks like they were trying to make it look like a suicide," Castle concluded, looking down at Conrad's corpse.

"Castle, look around. Or this guy was the one behind it and it was a suicide. He seems a little deranged." Beckett waved, indicating to the room.

"Then who was the person watching us from the roof?" he argued. Maybe he was right. If Conrad committed suicide and was behind all the murders, the random person on the roof wouldn't have been there.

"If someone was watching for us, we may have found Conrad sooner than we were supposed to. Maybe we jumped ahead in the game?" Kate hypothesized.

"Maybe Conrad had a partner?" Castle suggested. She watched as he investigated the scene. He was on her wave length of thinking and was slowly building theory with her.

Looking around the room, she was trying to find something the FBI may have missed. Something that would make her feel useful to this case; make the NYPD necessary to finding the answers they needed to solve it. "Guys—look at this." In her search, she had come across a false wall in the back of the closet.

"Or maybe Conrad _was_ just another victim?" Castle continued, looking between Shaw and Beckett as they explored. The false wall led them to a small compartment where it appeared someone, possibly Conrad, had been held. Duct tape and rope was still attached to a pipe in the space.

"Whoever is behind this wanted us to think it was Conrad—" Beckett stated as she walked back into the main room of the apartment. Finally taking a good look at the area the agents blocked earlier, she took in the chemicals, blueprints, and wires that were scattered across the tables.

"Why would the person kill Conrad then, if the real killer was trying to frame him?" Castle asked, walking next to Kate. Looking at the same disarray of items, Castle found what appeared to be a phone. Pressing one of the buttons down, an electronic message rang into the air. '_Goodbye Kate, Goodbye Kate_'. He turned toward her with wide eyes and panic washed across his face. "That's chilling…"

"He apparently wanted us to think this was over." She shuddered.

"He wanted to catch you with your guard down," Shaw said. "This guy is smart. He went through the trouble of finding victims connected to Conrad, all in an attempt to get to you when you weren't looking."

"I think the word you're looking for is creepy." Castle stated.

* * *

><p>Before they finished up at Conrad's apartment, Jordan received word that the man from the roof was gone without a trail. No evidence or prints remained. From everything they found at the scene in Conrad's apartment, the only prints they had found were Conrad's as well. It didn't make sense. Who was this person and how was he so careful that he hadn't left a single print anywhere?<p>

After interviewing Conrad's family and sorting through information with the FBI's computers, they were able to piece together enough items to lead them to a man living under the identity of Chris Doherty on the block of Downing and Varick. The apartment was full of pictures and articles on all of Beckett's cases. Aside from that, there were articles on other murders from other areas in the country.

"Looks like he's been doing this in other areas, too. Multiple killings and framing someone—then he disappears and he starts over in a new area," Castle speculated.

"Yeah—doesn't make me feel any better about this little shrine right here." Beckett sighed, motioning to her picture splashed onto his wall.

"Hey, we'll get him. He has to come back to his place sometime. Put everything back where you found it," Shaw said.

They set up surveillance outside and waited for the suspect to return back to the apartment. Beckett was stuck in the van with both Shaw and Castle an awkward silence surrounding them. But it was more than that. Her mind was reeling from the thought of this man staging these murders just to get to her. All of this because he had formed some unhealthy fascination with her...

That was enough to process, but then there was the added mental stress of Castle. He was chipping away at her resolve. She had to focus—catch the killer, bring justice to the victims, do her job. Staring at the screens, there was no signs of the suspect, but she felt like someone was watching her.

Turning her head away from the screen, she caught Castle gazing at her. He'd been caught red handed but he didn't shy away, just winked with a smile. Apparently he could go from helpful to cocky in a split second and she still couldn't decide if that was why he was getting under her skin. Throughout the case he's gone from annoying playboy to insightful and helpful and back again, a couple times over. However, now in the close quarters, he was back to driving her crazy. Tapping his foot, humming, and messing around with Shaw's equipment; the fidgeting was almost too much to bear.

"How do you handle it?" Kate snapped at Shaw.

"Handle what? Castle?" she asked with a tight smile.

"Yeah? He fidgets and touches things!" She glared over at Castle.

"You know I'm sitting right here, right?"

"Yeah, he does, but he's been surprisingly valuable on some cases," Shaw laughed. "He's very observant." Jordan's focus was still intent on the screen; not even turning to acknowledge either of them. Castle opened his mouth to respond, maybe defend himself, but instead he just stared right at Kate with the intense gaze that heated her cheeks. Her mouth started to go dry when her eyes met his piercing blue ones.

"Yeah—yeah I can see how he observes…" she stammered for a moment, but regained her composure turning back to the screen. "Isn't having someone on the roof with binoculars a little obvious?"

"Agent, tell the unit on the roof to stand down. He's going to blow our cover," Shaw commanded over the radio. The response that followed sent them all in a bit of a panic. '_We don't have a unit on the roof'_ "Shit, our cover's blown. All units, our suspect is on the roof of the building. Let's go," she called over the speaker. Turning back to Beckett and Castle, she smirked. "You two, stay put."

"I feel a bit of déjà vu." Castle joked as Jordan fled the van, leaving the pair alone. Kate looked from the closing door, to the screen, and then back at Castle. Fantastic.

The silence that stretched between them was doing nothing to break the tension that she felt. She was doing her best to deny any possibility of an attraction between them; and it was failing miserably.

"Castle—" She turned back to look at the screen, avoiding his eyes.

"Kate, what's going on?" It was a loaded question. One she didn't really know the answer to. Then again, maybe he just meant the case. Maybe he didn't feel it too. It didn't matter—they were in the middle of an investigation.

"Castle—look!" She pointed at the screen to show their suspect jumping down the fire escape. "He's getting away…" Beckett jumped up, un-holstered her gun, and headed for the door. "Stay here, Castle."

"Like hell. I'm not letting you go there without back up!"

"Castle, I'm not letting a civilian go with me unarmed. Stay here, please," she instructed and ran out the door. Keeping her eyes on the man, she watched him make his way to the sidewalk, but she wasn't subtle enough, and he spotted her, taking off at a sprint. Damnit.

She was racing down the streets of New York, trying her best not to lose the psychopath, but he was faster than she was. He didn't care who he knocked down on the way, while she was doing her best not to injure any innocent bystanders. Her duty was to the citizens of the city she swore to protect. Yet her duty was the reason she was losing this guy. From out of nowhere, Castle tackled the suspect to the ground. She hadn't even noticed Castle leaving the van, let alone how he found a way of cutting the guy off. How the hell did he manage to catch up? Maybe he _was_ more than just a pretty face.

She walked up to Castle and gave him a nod of thanks. "I don't know who you really are, but you have the right to remain silent. So shut the hell up," Kate barked at their suspect as she snapped the cuffs onto his wrists.

* * *

><p>His name was Scott Dunn. From what they uncovered, Mr. Dunn was responsible for countless murders, probably too many to count, all across the country. He always found an object for his obsession and accordingly, always found someone else to take the fall.<p>

After they arrested Dunn and posthumously cleared Conrad of charges, Beckett's apartment was swept by the FBI. Evidence came out that the detonator they found at Conrad's place was meant for a bomb planted in her apartment. The thought was haunting; a bomb in her apartment, and it could have easily killed her if they hadn't figured out that Conrad was framed.

"You know you probably saved my life…" Kate admitted to the writer standing next to her. She gave him a genuine smile, one that he reciprocated.

"Probably? I _definitely_ saved your life," Castle joked with a wink.

"And now I regret giving you a compliment." She smiled and pushed his shoulder.

Agent Shaw walked over to Beckett as the rest of the Feds packed up their equipment to leave the homicide floor, returning the Twelfth Precinct back to its FBI free-state.

"Agent Shaw, it was a pleasure." Beckett smiled at the woman.

"Same here, Detective. I'm glad we could help."

"Yes, very helpful. Opened my eyes to a few new techniques as well," she admitted, walking Jordan to the elevator.

"Glad to hear. Hopefully we don't have to do it again or maybe we can see each other on more pleasant terms," Shaw replied, holding out her hand.

"Agreed. Thank you," Beckett said, returning her handshake.

"Castle?" Shaw asked, but he shook his head.

"I'll be catch up with you later, Jordan," he responded, as the elevator doors closed. Castle turned back to Kate with a smile, stepping closer next to her. "This has been really great Kate, but maybe it doesn't have to end."

"Castle, that's probably not a good idea," she objected, wracking her brain - _why_ was her instinct to turn him down?

"Why not? You've been very inspiring." Oh. He was talking about his writing. Of course he was; she was just a cop.

"What about Agent Shaw? You're following her around for your new character, Castle. Isn't it for the new book series? The Derrick Storm spin-off, the first one was just released…" The words fell from her lips before she could shove them back in to avoid further embarrassment.

"Perusing the Richard Castle fan sites are you, Detective Beckett?" His eyes sparkled as he teased her.

"I may have heard through the grape vine," Kate defended. "But isn't that the reason you're following her around?" It didn't matter. Yet it did and she refused to acknowledge why.

"Yes, the FBI inspired the new book's current characters. Publisher's suggestion and all - but Shaw's alter ego may only be good for one book," he flirted, causing her cheeks to redden.

"Is that so?" God—what was she doing?

"Yeah, I think I may have found someone who I find a bit more inspiring," Castle husked into her ear, before he stepped into the waiting elevator car. Giving her a heart-stopping smile, the door shut and she was left alone, stunned.

Her heart sped up and butterflies fluttered into her stomach. One case—and she was already done for.

_**TBC**_

_**A/N pt 2: Case is over. Now the fun begins. **_


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N- __Thanks to Jo for not hunting me down and strangling me. You're an awesome help. All mistakes left are mine and I'm sorry! Thanks to everyone to everyone who has followed, favorited and reviewed. Your support is so appreciated! Joanna, Megan and Jan thanks for the constant cheerleading._

_Disclaimer- I do not own Castle or any of it's characters. I wish!_

* * *

><p><strong><em>The More Things Change…<em>**

* * *

><p>…<em>the more they stay the same. Kate Beckett is bored with life, but when a serial killer starts dedicating murders to her- someone enters the scene to aid with the investigation and her life may never be the same. Season 2- AU Caskett meeting.<em>

* * *

><p><span><em><strong>Chapter 5<strong>_

"Beckett."

"Kate?" Castle's voice boomed through the speaker on her cell phone, interrupting her quiet evening at home. Since the case with Scott Dunn, Castle called her regularly. They formed an odd kinship of sorts and she rather enjoyed it.

"Oh hey, Castle. What did I do to earn this unexpected call?" She smiled into the phone. While their odd relationship that formed over murder had yet to be defined, there was no mistaking the attraction she felt for him. Not that she would ever act on it, no she was pretty sure it was a one-sided thing. He just enjoyed the flirtation—enjoyed getting under her skin.

"Just seeing how my favorite Detective is doing—"

"Sounds like someone is avoiding writing," she answered. "Doesn't Shaw have a case for you to shadow?"

"No—but you know she's not the person I want to consult with anymore." She sucked in a quick breath and held it before she could focus on why that was wrong.

"Castle, we've talked about this. I don't think it's a good idea." Having him around every day, interfering with things, disrupting her carefully constructed line in the sand… the line that would protect her from him. Speaking regularly was one thing, but she couldn't allow him to get too close.

"But Beckett," he said, almost whining. "Think of how fun it would be. You have to admit that I was useful."

"You were—but I don't need your constant distraction," she admitted.

"I could be helpful," he objected with a soft chuckle.

"You could—or maybe your assistance with finding Dunn was just a fluke," she joked. "Plus, I'm sure Shaw would miss you." Sure she was stretching it, but at this point any excuse was a good excuse.

"She'd survive. I don't think she was that excited about having a book series based on her," Castle said, his tone indicating doubt. "I can imagine. It's kind of intrusive."

"You're trying to tell me that someone like you—you wouldn't love to have a book series based off of you?" She knew he was teasing her, she _knew_ it, but she was falling for it anyway. Playing right into his hypothetical poker hand as he acted shocked by the idea that not everyone would want their privacy invaded that way.

"Someone like me?" she asked.

"Yeah, aren't you a bit of a mega fan?" She gasped at his question, but tried to play it off. There was no way he could know that she subscribed to his website. Nor did he have any way of remembering that she had stood in line for over an hour to get one of her books signed. There was no way he could know, and there was no way she would ever supply him with that ammunition.

"Oh,_ please_! Don't flatter yourself, " Kate denied, trying her best to hide the truth.

"I'm just saying, you seem to know a lot about my work..." She could tell he was enjoying this immensely, to the point where she could _hear _his grin through the phone.

"I enjoy the genre in general. So on occasion I _may_ have read one of your books, Mr. Castle." She smiled as she gave him as little information as she could.

"Admit you're a fan…"

"Castle, no—"

"Kate, admit it," he provoked.

"Castle—" She rubbed her eyes from the frustration of this call. He was breaking, slowly.

"Kate—"

"Fine. I'm a fan!" she exclaimed. That was pathetic. It had taken her longer to break suspects in interrogation. He had played her like a well skilled professional.

"Mega fan." Rick pressed.

"Don't push your luck, Castle." Kate tried to sound mad, but she couldn't force the emotion into her voice.

"Fine. Regular fan. So why won't you let me shadow you for research."

"Just because I'm a fan doesn't mean I want you snooping around my cases."

She didn't want him on snooping around her cases… or her life.

"As a friend." He tried to persuade her, but she wasn't going to fall into another trap.

"Friend? You're more like a pet," she smirked.

"I'm going to pretend like you didn't say that. Lunch?"

"Lunch? Castle, it's 10 o'clock at night." Kate blinked. The quick change in direction that this conversation had taken was giving her whiplash. Was he asking her out?

"I mean tomorrow, Detective." Lunch tomorrow? That sounded like a bad idea. The distance afforded by phone calls was one thing, but spending time alone with one another was just playing with fire. And she would be the one who would end up burned.

"Castle—"

"As friends?" he added, as she was trying to turn him down. But maybe he was right, maybe they could be friends and it could be normal.

"No ulterior motives?"

"Maybe a little. I can be _VERY_ persuasive," he husked through the speaker. His voice caused a tingling sensation across her skin. This was such a bad idea. _Friends_? She was in trouble. He paused for a moment and she wondered if in her flustered state if she had missed a question she was supposed to answer. However, his voice continued without need for her response. "But, you know what I really, really want, Kate?"

"Wha—what?" The stutter fell from her lips. Was it hot in here?

"A cheeseburger." Really! Ice water ran in her veins.

"Castle!" Maybe she could be friends with this man; he acted like a child and made her laugh. She didn't need Lanie to tell her that was something she was lacking in her daily life. If he could bring her joy, she could remind herself of the reasons he wasn't a good match as anything other than a friend. Item one—couldn't take things seriously.

"See you at Remy's at noon," he chuckled, as he hung up the phone before she had a chance to argue.

Moments later her phone rang, and a small pang of disappointment in her stomach. Was he calling her to cancel? Maybe better plans came along? Glancing at the caller ID, the Twelfth Precinct's number flashed onto the screen, followed by a wave of guilt that she felt relief that murder was calling instead of Castle.

* * *

><p>The bell rang on the diner door as she rushed through it and the noise caught his attention, looking up from the booth toward the back of the room. She gave him a quick smile and wave, heading in his direction.<p>

"Hey, Castle. Sorry I'm late. Hope you haven't been waiting too long."

"No-no. I pretty much just got here myself," he assured. "Catch a case?"

"Yeah, actually right after I hung up with you last night," she said, hanging her coat on the hook next to them and sliding into the booth.

"Solve it yet?" Castle asked, raising a quick eyebrow in her direction.

"Not quite," she sighed. Truth be told, the case was frustrating her a bit. Who would crush someone with a gargoyle? Then throw in the curse that the museum curator mentioned and you had a case that was fit for one of Castle's books.

"What happened? Maybe I can help by allowing you to have access to my crime solving mind." He smiled. She could tell he was being sincere, but his ego made her roll her eyes.

"You certainly think a lot of yourself, Castle," Kate laughed.

"Well someone needs to."

"Oh yes, you are in desperate need for a self esteem boost."

"From you, I am," he replied with a frown. Maybe she was taking it too far, but even though they'd only known each other a week their connection had been undeniable. As much as the man drove her crazy, he brought playfulness to her life that had been missing for awhile. Of course she would never admit that to him. She almost fell for his pity party, but then she saw his lip twitch upwards.

"Well, keep holding your breath, Writer Boy," she teased.

"If you're going to mock me with a nickname, you could at least call me Writer Man. But honestly, this is a limited time offer to pick at my brain—going once—going twice—" She interrupted him before he could continue his fake auction.

"Pretty sure you'd be available any time I'd call," she shot back. He gave her a quick smile and a wink to concede that she was indeed correct. "Did you order yet?"

"Nope, I was waiting for you. So seriously, what was the case?" he asked, changing the topic back. At this rate, she was never going to eat on her lunch break.

"Why do you want to know so badly?" she wondered, searching his face for some indication.

"You know why," he said, leaning forward with his elbows on the table.

"Because you're bored with Shaw?" she guessed.

"Not bored. I just found inspiration in other areas of law enforcement," he replied with a wink and a smile. Always putting on the charm… "You'd be helping me—giving me case ideas for my books."

"Helping you, by letting you help me? You're ridiculous," she laughed.

"Worth a shot. Or I would love to be able to follow you with a case. Inspiration smacking me right in the face on a daily basis," he said while pretending to hit himself. He was absolutely incorrigible.

"Inspiration smacking you in the face? I'm sure that can be arranged," Beckett joked, bringing her tongue between her teeth and he broke out into a smile.

"Detective, would you judge me if I said I found that hot?" Her face flushed immediately; she should know better than to tease him. He got under her skin; rarely the other way around.

"Castle!"

"Sorry," he chuckled. "I'm just asking for you to think about it. It would be fun, working together again."

"It would—maybe, but Montgomery would never go for it. And I'm pretty sure I'd end up shooting you and think of all the paperwork!"

"So you kind of agree to it? I'm sure paperwork could be drafted that if you shoot me it's my fault."

"Like I said, my Captain would never allow it."

"You let me worry about him. You just keep wearing those heels—" he smiled, nudging her foot. "And catching those bad guys." He looked down at the menu, but then turned back to look with a twinkle in her eye. "Watching you work will definitely get the creative juices going."

"I don't even want to know about your creative juices…" she responded in fake disgust.

"Sure you don't, Detective," he gave her a smirk, before realization changed his expression. "Oh! I almost forgot. I wanted to invite you to my reading tonight. You know, since you're a _regular, _not a mega," he used air quotes as he rolled his eyes. "Fan. I figured you regular fan types would enjoy hearing an excerpt from my new book. It's limited seating, but since you know a guy—I'd love for you to be there."

"That sounds great, Castle." Wow. He was actually being sweet.

"Really?" He seemed surprised that she was interested in going. Maybe the whole egotistical personality was all an act.

"Yeah. I wouldn't miss it. Now though, I want some French fries and a milk shake and you can help me figure out what I'm missing with this case." She giggled as she smacked him in the arm with the menu.

* * *

><p>The case was wrapped up in a pretty bow just in time for Kate to get ready for tonight. Castle was right at lunch today. Even without shadowing her he had helped her solve the case. His insight to the criminal mind, the way he could spin theory... It was kind of hot. No, not hot. It couldn't be hot; he might really start following her and if she was going to work with him on a daily basis she couldn't be thinking of him that way. Friends? Sure. Anything more, she had to push it out of her mind. Besides, it wasn't like he was interested in her for anything real; they just had fun flirting with one another. They had fun getting under each other's skin. Their connection was intense; but just as friends. Definitely just as friends.<p>

Looking through her closet, she couldn't decide what one wore to a book reading. Her fashion choices had expanded over the last year, so she had a couple ideas of things that could be suitable. But she didn't want _suitable_; no—she wanted to have some fun. Seeing the fabric on the silk hanger at the back of her closet, a smile tugged on her lips. They were just friends, but that didn't mean she couldn't have some fun.

* * *

><p>The small local book store was tucked on a side street in the Village, attached to quaint little coffee shop. Now she understood why there was limited seating. The store was old, a rare gem in the huge metropolis. How did she not know this place existed?<p>

Pulling the heavy wood door open, she was greeted with the distinct smell of paper and ink. For an avid reader such as herself, the smell was heavenly. Kate looked around like a kid on Christmas morning; her eyes gazing at the shelves upon shelves of books—old and new alike.

"Miss? Can I help you with something?" She jumped at the elderly man who approached her; she'd been so engrossed in the atmosphere that she hadn't even heard him approach her.

"Hi. Yes. I'm here for the Richard Castle reading," she replied with a polite smile.

"Ah yes. Right this way. I think they may have just begun. I apologize for not directing you earlier, but you seemed to be enjoying yourself looking around," he explained. His voice had a rasp to it; a warmth. He was genuinely concerned that she had been left to wander.

"No, no. You're fine. And you're right, I was enjoying myself. I'm sure the author won't mind if I make a fashionably late entrance into the back of the reading." She grinned, fully knowing that this was her plan all along.

She was led to the room near the back of the store. Kate could hear Castle speaking even before the door opened. He was definitely laying it on thick with the playboy charm. Surely all the fan-girls were swooning. Actual fan-girls, not her; she would never swoon.

"And that's when Agent Rachael Winters raised her firearm. Her hair blowing in the wind did not distract her from her target. She would catch the man who harmed so many, but she didn't know if her aim would be good enough—" Castle read at the podium, overdramatically emphasizing every word. She wore a soft smile on her face as she walked into the room, trying to not interrupt his reading. But the door creaked shut behind her loudly, causing her cheeks to flush with warmth. The noise drew the attention of several audience members as well as Castle's. His eyes widened when he saw her standing there. "The shot fired and—Tony fell to the ground. Gasping his last breath. Wi—Winters would live another day," he stuttered over his words while blatantly looking up and down her body. Perhaps the short, tight, black sleeveless dress with the low v cut in the front was a bit too much for a book reading, but the look on his face was priceless.

Mission accomplished. He wanted to be able to follow her and mess with her work? Well then she should be allowed to mess with him at his. Giving him a quick wink and a nod, she took a seat at the back of the audience so he could finish the rest of his presentation without her interference. She had fun getting the reaction she wanted, but she didn't want to make him look like a fool.

He read the rest of the chapter from Winter's End and then he gave the attendees a little insight into the character for Agent Rachael Winters. Castle was very charming and charismatic; not that she'd had any doubt. She was getting enthralled with what he was saying, so much so, that she almost missed his little announcement.

"Be on the lookout for Agent Winters to make an appearance in my new series. It's still in its planning phase, but I feel like it will be the best one yet," he confessed.

"Will that series be based on Federal agents as well?" someone called from their seat.

"No—no. Even though she'll make an appearance, the new series will follow a hot female homicide detective." His new character? New series? He was so busted! "But that's all I'd like to share at this time. So if there are no other questions, I'll be available to sign your copies during the meet and greet. Thank you!"

She jumped up from her seat and made a beeline to the front of the room, dodging bimbos and soccer moms alike. When he noticed her heading in his direction, he excused himself from the person he was talking to and met her halfway.

"Cas—" She started but he interrupted her.

"Kate, you look unbelievable," he said with a smile. For a split second her mind went blank as his eyes roamed over her body, obviously checking her out. She _almost _liked it, but- no! She shook the haze free and the anger resumed.

"Don't '_you look unbelievable' _me! New character? New series?"

"Yeah, well I wanted to tell you at lunch, explain that this was the real reason I wanted to follow you around on your cases. But that didn't happen," he stammered.

"A homicide detective," Kate spoke carefully, trying to control her irritation.

"Based on you." Castle nodded, eyeing her reaction.

"Based on me. Don't you think this would've been something you run by me? As a friend? Hey, Beckett. plan to turn your life upside down and base a character on you and open you up to scrutiny and this isn't just about research for cases," she spat out, unable to keep her frustration at bay.

"Friends? That's what we are?" he asked

"_Really? _Now is not the time to worry about definitions and semantics!"she hissed at him.

"You're right—you're right. I just figured with the fact you were a fan, that you'd be honored," he stated.

"Even though I previously mentioned that I found it invasive. You're the author—shouldn't you understand subtext?" He was unbelievable!

"Okay, I'm sorry. I can tell you're irritated."

"You think?" she jeered.

"And as hot as you are when you're yelling at me —it's creating a bit of a scene." She looked around and embarrassment hit her for a whole other reason. Multiple pairs of eyes were staring at them; most likely whispering speculation about what the argument was about.

"Sorry—" she whispered.

"I planned on telling you. I did. And I'm sorry for making the announcement about this before I told you. I was excited and I couldn't keep it to myself. Like I said, I should have given you a warning earlier at the diner but I wanted to confirm with the mayor that shadowing you was a possibility."

"The mayor?"

"Yes. He was able to pull some strings and I start shadowing you on your next case. After I sign my life away with release forms," Castle confirmed, proving just how reckless he was by crossing another unspoken boundary and playfully pushing her on the shoulder.

"So you're really going to follow me?" That was... crazy! Although... her life was about to get a lot more interesting. A famous writer was going to be consulting; helping her out. Unbelievable.

"Yes and I want you to know that Nikki will be one of the most realistic characters that I will ever write. I want to do you justice."

"Nikki?"

"Yes, Nikki Heat. That's the name of the character I'm basing off of you." He grinned, pride in his words.

"_Nikki Heat_?!" she spat. "That's a stripper name!"

"No—no. A cop name." Her eyes narrowed, and she started storming away. "Kate?"

"Make sure to sign that paperwork first thing in the morning, Castle," she called over her shoulder. "Sooner you do—sooner I can shoot you for this!"

_**TBC**_

_**Thanks!**_


	6. Chapter 6

_A/N- __Thanks to Jo for your unbelievable help with this. I'm pretty sure I'm more of a project than you meant to take on. All mistakes that remain are mine and I'm sorry._

_I'm completely blown away by all the support this story has gotten. I love an appreciate every single one of your reviews. Joanna, Megan and Jan- you guys are the best encouragement and thanks for pushing me to post._

_Disclaimer- I do not own Castle or any of it's characters. I wish!_

* * *

><p><strong><em>The More Things Change…<em>**

* * *

><p>…<em>the more they stay the same. Kate Beckett is bored with life, but when a serial killer starts dedicating murders to her- someone enters the scene to aid with the investigation and her life may never be the same. Season 2- AU Caskett meeting.<em>

* * *

><p><span><em><strong>Chapter 6<strong>_

"Katie, you're going to miss it," Johanna called from the other room.

"I'll be right there. I thought you said the scarf was hanging in your closet." Kate sighed, pushing through the hangers on the clothing rod.

"Maybe it's in a box on the shelf?" her mom yelled back from the family room. "Just worry about it after the interview. I don't want you missing your boyfriend!" she replied in a teasing tone.

"He's not my boyfriend!" She already regretted the day she had told her mother about Castle and that they had become friends.

"I still can't believe Richard Castle wants to base his next character off of you!" Johanna exclaimed, almost unable to contain her enthusiasm. "We've been reading those books for years. Of course, I've been a fan longer…" Oh God, she was never going to hear the end of this.

"Mom! Not the time right now," she said, shifting through boxes. Of course, they were well organized and everything was labeled because her Mom was more detail oriented then even she was. However, the black silk scarf that she promised was nowhere to be found.

"But still. My daughter the inspiration for one of the world's most well known mystery writers; it's pretty impressive, Katie," she said, beaming.

"Nothing impressive about it. He's shadowing me on cases." Kate stuck her head out of the room and shot her mother a look.

"Just shadowing you?" Kate nodded in hopes that the conversation would be dropped.

"Yes. Castle's a nice guy when he's not driving me crazy, but he's just a friend," she explained, turning back to keep searching for the scarf.

"Oh, so you're friends now?" she teased.

"Mom!" Ugh. Why did she have to open her mouth about him?

"Don't _Mom_ me. You just went from 'he's just shadowing you' to 'friends' in a matter of seconds. So what aren't you telling me?" Johanna asked. "You haven't told me about a guy since Will—and since Richard Castle has entered your life you haven't stopped."

Great. Now she wanted to bring up old boyfriends. This conversation was going so well.

"It's complicated. We're just friends, but I knew you were a fan. So I figured you'd like to know." Kate sighed, ruffling through the sweaters folded on the shelf.

"Hey. You know I always like to girl talk with you, hon. I just don't want you to push him away because you think you're protecting yourself from something."

Her mom knew her so well; either that or she was a little too predictable. After her father's death, she didn't exactly trust men and she tried to keep them at arm's length.

"He has a reputation and I'm just a cop. He's not going to be interested in me that way," she said. This wasn't exactly the type of conversation they should be having calling out from different rooms, but in a way, it made it easier.

"Are you sure or are you just making excuses?"

"I don't— I don't know." Kate stuttered for a moment as she came across a box in the top shelf of the closet. It appeared to have case files in it along with other documentation. Sure, her mom was an attorney, but why on earth did she have these files buried in her closet. However, as odd as it was, it was none of her business. She reached to replace the lid when it popped out at her — her father's name. Kate's finger tips trailed the words of his name in reverence as confusion clouded her thoughts before her mom's voice snapped her out of her fog.

"Katie, it's on!" Schooling her features, Kate walked out of her mom's bedroom and joined her on the couch. "Everything, alright?"

"Yeah. Yeah. I'm fine," she lied. "I just couldn't find the scarf." She painted a smile on her face, but her thoughts were all over the place. What was that box and what was it doing in her mom's closet? She did her best to push the questions aside—it wasn't the time. It just didn't make sense.

"Well I'll help you find it when his interview is over. Here's your glass of wine and I made your favorite popcorn!"

"Thanks." She nodded and cuddled up on the couch next to the popcorn bowl. "I'm glad you convinced me to come over for a girl's night." Reaching for her glass of wine, she took a long sip trying to relax—trying to forget what she saw.

"It was perfect timing. How often are we both free and your boy — I mean your friend - is on TV?" She smiled and patted her daughter's hand. Kate shot her a glare for the slip of words; the subject of a relationship with Castle was apparently not going to be dropped tonight.

"Mom. Friend. _Just_ friend," Kate said.

"Maybe at this point, but I'm not a fool. I see the way your eyes sparkle when you talk about him. You're smitten." Johanna laughed.

"I do _not_ get smitten over men."

"Maybe not usually, but over Richard Castle? You may be fooling yourself, but I'm not buying it. The question is what's holding you back?" That was a loaded question. The main thing holding her back? God she couldn't even admit it to herself.

"It's complicated."

"That's your excuse with any guy you've ever known. Katie, I want you to be happy and I wouldn't mind getting grandchildren one day either—"

"Mom!" Wow. Talk about going to extremes with the conversation and cementing the fact that she would never talk about another guy with her mom again.

"I know that's obviously not in the cards right now, sweetie. What I'm trying to say is, if you never trust a guy enough to give it a real shot you'll never get to find that happiness. Like what I had with your father…"

Her dad—the box—the file…

"Mom, about dad—I found—" Kate was interrupted by Bobby Mann's voice booming through the television and she realized the moment was lost again.

"Please help me in welcoming, Richard Castle!" Castle walked onto the stage and gave the audience his phony smile and wave. This man wasn't the Rick Castle she knew. This man was the celebrity and it was all for show. She knew better by now. He was proving to her that she could trust him and that he was a friend to her. Yet as much as she knew this was true, the idea of telling him her feelings, letting him know that she felt something more than friendship; that she felt a spark. A spark that she swore he felt too. No, she couldn't let him know that.

"He looks good, Katie."

"Yeah, he does." She sighed, trying to ignore the fluttering in her stomach. This schoolgirl crush of hers was getting ridiculous. She took another sip of her wine. More alcohol. Yes that would make things better.

The interview was the typical puff piece to hype his latest book and then they briefly talked about the Derrick Storm books being made into a movie. Interest seemed to spark in the eyes of the guest next to Castle and she started hanging on every word he spoke. Not only hanging on his words, but she started to hang on his body as well. Well, that was certainly one way to get attention.

"And this right here, Mom, is why Richard Castle is not my boyfriend—" The interview ended and Ellie Monroe was still holding onto Castle's arm. She couldn't deny that every inch of her skin burned with jealousy. "She's obviously his type."

"You don't know that. Didn't you say that he had a separate public persona?" Kate scoffed at the question. Sure, she was right, but it didn't mean that his regular everyday self wanted anything to do with Kate. They flirted and teased, but that's as far as it went. There was an unspoken line that was never crossed in the weeks that they'd known each other. Especially now that he was about to start working with her, it would be for the best if he stuck to dating B-rated actresses. She never stood a chance.

"Let's just finish the popcorn and find the scarf. I'm done talking about my non-existent love life for the evening."

"Katie—"

"Mom, please. Let's drop it," she stated in defeat. It was bad enough that she felt sick seeing Castle flirt with the actress. She didn't need to hear her mom rationalize it. He was just her friend and she had no claim over him. Adults could flirt with who they wanted, when they wanted. She would just prefer if he didn't do it on her television screen. Without another word, she watched her mom take her empty wine glass into the kitchen before she retreated into her bedroom.

"Um—were you looking through boxes of paperwork?" her mom called from the other room. Had she left the box open? Hurrying into the bedroom, she found her mom standing over the box of files that Kate had found earlier.

"I came across it when I was looking for the scarf. I didn't really look at it—" she defended.

"Oh—okay—just personal paperwork. Nothing you should worry about." Kate stared at her Mom in complete shocked at the obvious lie.

"I may have not really looked, but I am a homicide detective. Those are case files. Not personal paperwork. And I saw a file with Dad's name on it—"

"Katie, " she said, taking deep breath. "It's just his accident report."

"Why do you have his accident report? Can I see it?" Sure, she was pushing her luck, but something didn't sit well with her. Her mom was hiding something and it was about her Dad.

"No. You know what it says by now. I'm sure you've pulled it at the precinct."

"Exactly. I've pulled it at the precinct. So why do you have a file here?" Kate asked as anger warmed her cheeks.

"Insurance reasons," she replied.

"You're lying. I can tell. You can't even look me in the eye," Kate snapped.

"Katie—I don't want to fight with you about this. Just trust that it's better to leave this alone," Johanna pleaded with her. She closed the box up tight and slid it back into the corner of the closet. Turning back toward Kate, she handed her the elusive black scarf with a sad smile. "I'm sorry. Just believe it's for the best." Kate grabbed the cloth from her hands and stormed for the door. This was not at all how she had foreseen the night going.

* * *

><p>The next day at the precinct, Castle came rushing onto the homicide floor carrying two cups of coffee. They still hadn't caught a case since he signed all the paperwork, but she told him he could come in if he'd like. She had expected him to be excited for his first day, but something seemed off with him as he stood before her, holding the cups close to his chest. Beckett couldn't figure it out until he opened his mouth.<p>

"Bobby Mann is dead!" he said.

"Good morning?"

"I'm serious. Bobby Mann is dead. He was murdered," Castle continued.

"Okay. Walk me through this. Today is your first day shadowing my cases, but instead of shadowing a case you're reporting one?" He nodded and squinted his eyes.

"Well, kind of."

"What do you mean 'kind of'? Plus, I saw on the news this morning he died of a heart attack. Which is probably a little rough for you since you just did his show yesterday — but nowhere has it been reported that he was murdered," she replied, staring at the two cups of coffee still in his hands.

"When I was getting ready to leave the set yesterday, he pulled me aside. He said that he heard that I was going to start following the NYPD and that people wanted him dead. Ellie started walking toward us so he got spooked and stopped talking after that."

"What did Ellie Monroe want?" The words fell from her lips before she could stop them. What was with this man that prevented her from using a filter? Castle gave her a little smirk that seemed to acknowledge the jealousy in her question. "I mean—so you didn't hear anything further from Bobby then?"

"No. Nothing else. And if you must know, Ellie said she overheard me talking about shadowing the NYPD and that she kind of had a thing for cops."

"Castle. Let me stop you right there. If you're just going to use your in with the NYPD to pick up girls, well there's the door. I don't have time for this," she said. Jealousy was an ugly color on her, but her hostility was more than just her irritation from him talking about the actress; her sour mood from the night before with her Mom and whatever it was that she was hiding about her Dad's accident still lingered. Hearing about Castle hitting on Ellie Monroe and confirming her worst fears? It was a bit too much for her to take at nine in the morning.

Castle walked a couple steps closer to her and finally handed her a travel mug of coffee, leaning into her as he did. She felt her face heat up when he stepped even closer into her personal space. "I turned her down, Detective," he whispered low into her ear. Before she could even register what happened, he was already standing next to the murder board, writing Bobby Mann's name on it. He was flustering her, he was touching things and the day had only just begun. It was going to be a long day.

* * *

><p>The day started off being pretty slow in the beginning and Castle's constant nagging about Bobby Mann's death was driving her insane. After telling Castle that he owed her big time, Kate convinced Lanie to do an autopsy of Bobby Mann which of course confirmed his theory; Bobby Mann was murdered. Standing back at the murder board, Castle turned toward her with a grin.<p>

"I told you I wasn't crazy."

"Castle. I don't think I ever used the words crazy."

"No, but you didn't believe me."

"Okay. I was wrong," she muttered under her breath.

"Wait, what was that, Detective Beckett?" Castle teased with his hand cupping over his ear. "I don't think I could quite make out those words."

"You were right. I should've believed your fake detective slash murder mystery writer credentials," Kate jeered in his direction. She refused to inflate his ego much more on his first day following her. Though his proud little grin was completely ador—nope—she needed to focus.

"Glad I could be of service, Beckett. And if you need any assistance with any other services—"

"Castle! Police precinct. Focus!" It was like he had read her mind. He gave her wink and she shook her head with a laugh. His first day at the precinct and they were already flirting like teenagers. "Let's go down to the TV studio and see if anything unusual had happened in Mr. Mann's life recently." Turning to Esposito and Ryan's desks, she called over to them. "Why don't you guys track down any next of kin? I'll call you with what we found down at the station." The boys nodded as Castle helped her into her jacket.

Castle and Beckett walked toward the elevator when his phone started to ring. He mouthed his silent apology in her direction, answering the call as the elevator doors shut. "Rick Castle. Oh wow. Hi Ellie. I was shocked about Bobby, too... I can't believe we were his final guests… Oh, you want to go to lunch?" He looked over at Beckett with a concerned expression. "I would love to Ellie, but I told you yesterday that probably wasn't a good idea… celebrate life?" He gulped.

This one-sided conversation that she was witnessing was a bit much. Kate needed to figure out what was going on in her head because one moment she was snapping at Castle for flirting with her and the next she was getting jealous over an actress asking him out.

The elevator opened into the parking garage and she stalked out toward her cruiser, leaving a flabbergasted Castle behind. He caught up to her just as she was about to pull out of the parking spot.

"I'm sorry."

"About what?" Kate pretended to be oblivious to the conversation she had overheard. He didn't need to know that it bothered her.

"The phone call. I'm not going out with her."

"Castle, it's really none of my business which actress you decide to go out with. The more the merrier," she snipped. The petty words just hung in the air.

"Beckett, I told you earlier. I turned her down. It's not like that—" he started, but she scoffed in response. "It's not. I think what she's really after is a part in the Derrick Storm movie."

"Clara Strike?" she guessed.

"Pretty sure that's what she has her eye on," Castle agreed, but Kate shrugged her shoulders.

"She could have her eyes on something else as well."

"Probably not, but would you be jealous if she did?" he asked.

"In your dreams, Castle!" She glared at him for a moment, before turning her attention back toward the road.

"In my dreams you're not jealous, you just join in," he smirked. She pinched his arm in response. "Ow!"

That liability paperwork would really come in handy today if he kept this up.

* * *

><p>By the end of the day, the case was at a standstill and they had yet to figure out who killed Bobby Mann. Even though there were some small bumps throughout the day Kate had to admit that Castle shadowing her on this case had made the day a little more enjoyable. They made a great team and for the most part she was able to push her concerns about the issue with her mom out of her head. Castle was such a great distraction that he even got her to uncharacteristically agree to come over for dinner. It was all under the pretense of his appreciation for not killing him on his first day.<p>

When Kate arrived at the loft, she was happy to find out that his daughter and mother would be joining them for dinner. The food was great and Castle made sure her wine glass was continuously filled. She helped him clean up in the kitchen at her insistence. It was the least she could do after the gourmet meal he'd prepared. With everything finally put away, she took another quick sip of her wine and sighed. Castle joined her leaning against the counter and nudged her arm.

"Thanks for being great with them." He smiled motioning to his Mom and daughter laughing on the couch.

"It's easy to do. You're a lucky man. They're wonderful." She grinned back at him and then noticed the two redheads walking their way.

"It was nice to meet you, dear," Martha said, pulling her into a hug. "But I'm afraid this is my cue to leave." She waved her hands dramatically toward the door and Kate gave her a soft laugh.

"I agree, Martha. This was nice. I'm glad Rick convinced me to come over tonight."

"I happy you came over as well, Detective Beckett. Dad's been talking about you non-stop lately," his daughter confessed.

"Alexis!" he hissed.

"What? You have! It's nice to finally get to meet her. I feel like I already know you. Maybe you can keep him in line finally." She laughed and poked at her Dad's arm.

"Well I can do my best while we're at work, but I think you'll have to be in charge of keeping an eye on him the rest of the time," Kate stated.

"You both are so funny. I am a grown adult, you know," he said.

"That's up for debate," Kate joked, and stuck her tongue out at him. Castle looked at her with a raised eyebrow and shook his head.

"First day you meet and you're already ganging up on me."

"So just at work? So you guys aren't—"

"Alexis! Kate and I are just_friends_," he emphasized, shooting Kate a panicked look. He acted like the mere the mention of them being together would cause her to run out the door. Well maybe that would be her normal reaction, but as she drained the rest of her glass of wine she couldn't help but smile.

"He's right, Alexis. So guess you'll still have to be his babysitter the remainder of the time."

"Maybe so," she said. "Okay. It's been fun, but Dad, I'm headed off to Paige's house, so you'll have to be responsible for your actions tonight." The girl smiled and kissed her Dad on the cheek. She then walked over to Kate and gave her a quick hug. Kate laughed to herself. Apparently all the Castles invaded personal boundaries shortly after meeting people.

"Come over again soon, Detective Beckett. I think you're good for him."

"Thanks Alexis. Have a good night."

"Bye, Pumpkin. Have fun." The door clicked and Castle turned toward her with a smile. "And then there were two."

"I should really be going," she admitted.

"Why? The night is still young. How about another glass of wine?" he asked.

"Are you trying to get me drunk, Castle?"

"Would it be so wrong if I was?" Her eyes widened and he laughed. "Kidding! I'm just having a good time tonight and I didn't want you to leave quite yet."

"I guess another glass wouldn't be _so _horrible." Sure. Drink more wine with the attractive mystery writer; not a horrible idea or anything.

"Perfect." He walked over and grabbed their two empty glasses. Picking up the half full bottle, he poured the remaining liquid between the pair of wine glasses.

"I'm still a little surprised that you didn't take Ms. Monroe up on her offer to _'celebrate life',_" Kate mocked with air quotes.

"Nah. I talked to the movie producers and recommended her for the part. She'd be pretty perfect, so in the end I was doing them both a favor."

"Yeah, but a beautiful actress throwing herself at you—pretty sweet deal," she baited and he handed her one of the glasses.

"I've dated a couple of actresses in the past. Sex was amazing, but man were they crazy!" They made their way to his couch and sank into the cushions.

"I don't want to know about your sex life, Castle," she scoffed and took a sip of the sweet liquid.

"Just saying. Crazy sex—"

"Castle." The combination of wine, jealousy, and the constant mention of sex was almost more than Kate could handle. Her attraction was bubbling to the surface out of her control. These last couple weeks of knowing him had been a whirlwind, but she couldn't deny their connection. Perhaps it was the wine rationalizing things to her, but she was starting to lose her reasoning on why this connection was a bad thing.

"Got it. No sex talk. I turned her down, Kate. I wasn't going to sleep with her so she could convince me about a movie role. I have _some _self respect—but there wasn't anything wrong with some harmless flirting." She closed her eyes, but that didn't stop the heat she felt. All common sense was gone when she opened her eyes and found his.

"You're not supposed to be flirting with her Castle," she whispered. She couldn't believe she was acting this jealous. Shame clouded her vision; either shame or perhaps it was the wine they were drinking finally affecting her.

"Oh, I'm not? And why is that, Kate?"

"Because." Kate started to explain, but then decided on a more direct route. Words were never her strong point, but actions... Without realizing it, she ran her tongue across her bottom lip and a sigh escaped through the opening. She stuttered for another second while staring down at his mouth.

"Kate—"

Her mouth crashed into his, preventing either one of them from speaking further. The intensity of her reaction to this kiss was unlike anything she could remember. Their lips were fighting for dominance, as his hands pulled at her hair and she was clenching at his shirt. The heat of their battle ignited a spark across the plains of her skin. In an almost out of body experience, Kate pushed Castle against the back of the couch and straddled his lap. It was like her body was moving and her brain was ten steps behind in the process. As Castle began to kiss down her jaw line, she involuntarily started to grind down on top of him with a moan falling out of her lips.

"God—Kate. You're killing me," he growled into her ear.

There was nothing that she wanted more than to be here with him, but panic crept into her thoughts. She would just be one of his next conquests and then he'd leave her. Just another notch on his belt. "Rick," she gasped.

"I can hear you thinking," he whispered into her skin as he kissed along her clavicle. His hands hovered over the buttons on her shirt, but could he really sense her hesitancy? He moved his lips back to hers for a moment in a slower exploration of her mouth. No, this was too perfect. God she wanted him, but she couldn't. She broke the kiss and lowered her chin.

Stopping cold in his tracks, Castle caressed her chin to get her to look him in the eyes. "Kate?" Panic swept through her and she shook her head. Before she knew what was happening, Kate pushed away from him and moved out of his lap. Distance—distance would be good. She needed to clear her thoughts—she needed to catch her breath.

"We—we need to stop. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have—we can't—" she stumbled across her words and across the floor. She was unclear if it was the buzz of the alcohol or the buzz that she could feel radiating through her body from him where his touch burned permanent reminders against her skin. "We're friends. We barely know each other—this just isn't a good idea."

"Kate—" He tried to reach out to stop her, but she was already rushing toward the door.

"I'm really sorry. I just need to think."

"We should talk about this," he called out, trying to catch her.

"Castle—I just need to go. I'm sorry." And before he could speak another word she slammed the door behind her.

* * *

><p>Kate's mind was reeling as the cab drove her home from Castle's loft. What was she doing? She had practically thrown herself at him. Nothing about those actions screamed Kate Beckett. She knew better than to allow herself to be so careless. Maybe going home wasn't the answer; she needed to calm down. The case was still up in the air and while her wine buzz would probably not put her in the most efficient crime solving frame of mine, maybe she could work out some of her aggression in the precinct's gym. If she could get the fog out of her mind, maybe the adrenaline from the workout would help her figure out what in the world could have happened to Bobby Mann.<p>

"Change of destination. Can you please drive me to the Twelfth Precinct instead?"

"No problem, lady," he replied in a manner that led her to believe that he would be taking a longer drive than necessary. The longer the drive, the more time for her to think about what an idiot she was. They were becoming friends and they were having fun. He wasn't the type of guy who would get involved with a cop and have a relationship with her. Hell—she didn't even want a relationship. There was something going on with her Mom and there was something strange about that box with her Dad's accident file. She needed to focus on that. Solve that mystery. She didn't have time for this school girl crush that she was developing on Castle.

She lost track of how long the ride was, but she didn't particularly care. Her mind was zoning in and out of the evening. Paying the cab driver the inflated fare, Kate dragged her body into the building and headed for the locker room. Thankful that she left an extra pair of workout clothes in her locker, she striped out of her jeans and sweater combo and threw on the leggings and t-shirt. As she placed her belongings inside the storage space, she heard her phone buzz. It was a text message from Castle. 'We need to talk'.

Sure, talking was probably a better idea than running away, but nothing within her system could stomach having an awkward talk right now. After tonight, he could move onto the next girl. Someone who wasn't so complicated and would give into being a random hookup. Taking the roll of sports tape from the shelf, she wrapped both hands and walked toward the punching bag. It was time to get some of her frustration out. As much as she tried to get Castle out of her thoughts, he had wormed his way into everything.

She just couldn't go there with him. Not now and probably not ever.

At the end of the day, she was angrier with herself than him. He was who he was; she was the one acting out of character. She hit the bag harder and harder. Pain radiated through her skin and into her bones, but it was a good pain. The type of pain that would hurt far less than the pain of a broken heart… Punching and kicking, Kate was getting so lost in her actions that she almost missed the man standing off to the side.

"Hey," he greeted and walked closer to the punching bag.

"Hi," she responded.

"Need some help?"

"No. But if you're offering…"

"Of course. You're Kate Beckett, right? Homicide?" the stranger asked.

"Yes. I'm sorry, but do I know you?"

"No, I just transferred here." He offered his hand for her to shake. "Detective Tom Demming, Robbery."

_**TBC**_


	7. Chapter 7

__A/N- _To everyone who reviewed. You all are amazing! Even with some of the concern about the new character. I appreciated hearing what you all thought. Just know, the story is outlined and it weaves in and out of canon. So while the characters are in the story- the events and reactions may be different. :)_

_Jo you are an amazing beta and I'm so lucky to have your help! All mistakes that remain are my own._

_Thank you to all my cheerleaders. You guys mean the world to me._

_**Side note- As I post this I'm going to watch 7x3 again :) **_

_Disclaimer- I do not own Castle or any of it's characters. _

* * *

><p><strong><em>The More Things Change…<em>**

* * *

><p>…<em>the more they stay the same. Kate Beckett is bored with life, but when a serial killer starts dedicating murders to her- someone enters the scene to aid with the investigation and her life may never be the same. Season 2- AU Caskett meeting.<em>

* * *

><p><span><em><strong>Chapter 7<strong>_

Kate lay in her bed as she stared up at the ceiling. Her life felt like it was spiraling out of her control. Sure, she could easily blame it on Castle if she wanted, but it wasn't just him. It was everything. It was him. It was her. It was her mom.

She could try to brush her feelings for Castle aside and pretend they didn't exist. _Try_ being the key word. However, she couldn't ignore the issue with her mom. Had her mom been lying to her for years? If there wasn't something odd about her father's death, she couldn't think of a reason why her mom would have a case file on him. Plus, what was in that box aside from the file? Nothing about it sounded right. Was his death even an accident?

The sound of her cell phone buzzing snapped her out of her inner ramblings. Sitting up, Kate picked the offending object off of her nightstand and sighed when she saw the caller ID. Castle. Thankfully it was just a text and not a call.

'_Now that the case is closed can we please talk about this?'_

Slamming her head back down onto her pillow, she closed her eyes and flung her phone next to her on the bed. She had managed to avoid talking about their kiss for the last couple days as they closed the Bobby Mann case. It was hard, but she had excuse after excuse about why they couldn't or shouldn't talk, or even mention it. Kate could tell that each day was getting under his skin a little bit more. She couldn't avoid it forever, but she could at least avoid this particular text.

Her phone buzzed again—almost mocking her. Screaming out loud in frustration—disturbing the silence of night; Kate accepted defeat and grabbed her phone again. Oh. Not Castle.

It was her mom.

'_Katie, I can't handle the silent treatment anymore. Can we meet for lunch tomorrow?'_

She hated fighting with her mom, but the way that she had blown off her questions the other night meant that time was necessary; she needed to think so she could avoid saying things that she didn't mean. Her mom was usually stubborn though; hell that's who she learned that from. But maybe—maybe this text was her olive branch. Maybe her mom would finally give her answers.

Kate knew that she should apologize for storming out, but her pride only allowed for the one word. At least she was agreeing to it.

'_Okay.'_

'_How about Tony's at noon?'_

That Italian bistro by her mom's office was always Johanna's favorite, and maybe she was hoping that Kate wouldn't make a scene if they met there. Hell, she didn't want to make a scene. All she wanted was answers; she didn't want family drama. Her mom was all she had.

She just wanted the truth.

* * *

><p>The next day when she arrived at the precinct, Kate made a beeline for the break room. She needed coffee about as badly as she needed oxygen. All her worries about Castle and her mom had replayed in her head all night, leaving her with little time to get rest. Grabbing the closest coffee mug she could find, she grabbed the pot of what she could only assume was hours old coffee. At least it was caffeine…<p>

"There you are." Castle's appearance from nowhere caused her to jump and spill hot coffee down her arm.

"Shit!" The mug nearly slipped from her hand from the pain of the scalding liquid, but she managed to set it on the counter and avoid a complete disaster.

"Beckett—damn, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. I just wanted you to know that I brought you coffee," he stammered, scrambling to set down the travel mugs and help Kate clean up the mess. She turned toward Rick; he was rubbing his hands down his face. That's when it dawned on her. He was nervous. In hindsight, he had been acting jumpy and strange the last couple days since they kissed but she was so preoccupied that she didn't acknowledge it. Their kiss. Now if that wasn't the massive elephant in the room, she didn't know what was.

"Castle, it wasn't your fault. My mind was elsewhere," she sighed, eyeing the second travel mug. It would be rude if she just grabbed it. His eyes caught her line of vision and handed her the cup.

"Sorry."

"Stop apologizing. Hmmm," she moaned into her coffee. "Thank you. This is amazing."

"Anytime. But it's a bit of a bribe." He hesitated.

"Bribe?" Her eyes shot up to his. Confusion clouded her vision for a moment, until realization hit and she knew where he was going with this.

"Yeah, I provide you with a good latte and then maybe you'll actually stop avoiding me."

"How am I avoiding you? We worked a case together for the last couple days," Kate murmured, looking back down at her mug.

"See right there. You know what I'm talking about, but you're changing the subject."

"Castle."

"Kate, I can't get that kiss out of my head!" Her eyes widened in shock of his rather loud confession.

"Castle! Keep it down!" she hissed. "We're in the precinct! I don't need Ryan and Esposito hearing you scream that," she snapped. He winced at her harsh tone, but someone overhearing this conversation was the last thing she needed.

"Sorry—sorry! I've just never had to try this hard to get a woman to talk to me."

He had to be kidding. "Right there. That comment right there." she said.

"What did I say?" he asked. He seemed genuinely confused.

"You're Richard Castle, playboy extraordinaire. I'm Kate Beckett, a detective," she whispered.

"And?"

"You have women flinging themselves at you and hell, that's basically what I did at your place after a couple glasses of wine," Kate stated, her voice laced with irritation.

"Is that the problem? You think that I think less of you? You think—"

She interrupted his words and began pacing through the room."I don't know what I think," she sighed and rubbed her hands over her face in frustration. "I just know that things are too intense. I am not the girl that throws herself at the guy she likes," she babbled, avoiding his eyes.

"So you do like me," he blurted out, stopping her dead in her tracks. Once she was able to breathe again, she walked toward the coffee pot and looked out the break room window.

"That's not what I mean—yes—I mean I can't-" she confessed, her back to him the entire time.

"You can't what? Kate, you're not making any sense."

"It shouldn't have happened. It was a mistake," she whispered. Kate looked around the break room, avoiding his eyes, but also to make sure that they weren't making a scene. Once their privacy was confirmed, she turned to the counter. Almost instantly, she felt his breath against her neck as he walked up behind her, his chest pushed against her back.

"It doesn't have to be a mistake." With the warmth of his words against her skin, she couldn't focus. She knew she needed air, but at the same time she couldn't bring herself to push him away. Kate turned to face him so now he had an arm bracing the counter on either side of her. She shook her head with a small frown and finally found strength to fight the pull of him.

"Castle, it needs to be a mistake." Her eyes were downcast as they spoke in hushed tones. This was a far more intimate conversation than they should be having at the precinct. She would never have allowed this with Will.

"Tell me you don't feel the electricity between us. Tell me you don't feel the connection. If you can look at me and tell me you don't feel that, if you can deny it, I'll play your game and pretend the other night didn't happen," he demanded.

"I can't. Okay?" She felt him release the breath he was holding. When she looked at him, the moment their eyes connected, his face fell. He already knew the words before she spoke them. "Like I said, it's intense but I'm not ready for anything. I'm sorry."

"I'm not asking you to marry me, Kate. I'm just saying—making out once in a while isn't a horrible idea." He winked at her and she jabbed him in the ribs. Her mind was waging a war within itself, because of comments like those. The funny sarcastic quips; she needed that in her life. It drove her to the brink of madness, but it also brought fun into her world.

"Stop while you're ahead," she said, smiling.

"So in summary, you think I'm hot and you like to make out with me after drinking red wine." He pressed his luck and pushed it further, but she rewarded him with a laugh. Maybe things didn't have to be so cut and dry. The world wasn't black and white.

"Castle," she warned, avoiding the complete encouragement of this behavior.

"Hey Beckett," Tom greeted, popping his head into the break room. The sudden third party in the situation caused her and Castle to jump away from each other.

"Oh, Demming. Hi. I'll be right out there."

"Who's Captain America?" Castle asked with a bit of a snarky undertone.

"Tom Demming. He's a detective down at robbery." There was a flash of something on Castle's face that she hadn't quite seen before. If she didn't know any better, she'd guess it was a hint of jealousy.

"I see."

"Don't start. Let's get back to the case."

* * *

><p>Kate walked out into the bullpen and sighed. This case was quickly turning into a disaster. Ryan was off in the conference room trying to calm down Esposito. The details of the case were tying back to Victor Racine, who was responsible for Espo's former partner's death.<p>

Now Demming being here was putting her on edge. He had tried to ask her out the other night while she was working out and running away from Castle. She had turned him down with an apology, explaining that she wasn't in the right place. Which was true; her mind was preoccupied by Castle and whatever was going on with them. So until she figured that out, having Tom stand to her desk flashing her a megawatt smile; it was just not needed right now.

"So what's going on with the case?" Castle wondered, turning to look between her and Demming with a raised eyebrow. His voice was a little off, almost like he was trying to deepen it.

"Victim is Paul Finch. He was found last night in his car, electrocuted," she said, trying to suppress the giggle caused by his ridiculous voice.

"Mr. Finch was a thief," Demming added.

"So because the victim was a thief, we need the help from a robbery detective?" deep voiced Castle asked.

"We?" she laughed, shooting Rick a curious look. Second case and he was already considering himself a homicide detective?

"And who are you?" Demming asked. Oh no. And so it began.

"Richard Castle, homicide consultant," Castle replied, using his weird deep voice again, the insanity continuing with his new job title.

"Castle is a novelist that is shadowing me for his books," Kate corrected, smirking at Castle. His face turned a soft shade of pink; embarrassment was a cute color on him. Oh God, that wasn't helping things. How was she supposed to work a case like this? Tom had barely said two words and Rick was acting like a crazy person. And now she was thinking this behavior was cute?

"Okay. Well, Mr. Castle, the detectives running this case have investigated and it has been decided that this homicide is related to a robbery in a safety deposit box," Demming said. He was either business as usual or he was trying to make himself sound impressive. She didn't know him well enough to be able to judge his actions.

"Are you trying to speak down to me?" Castle asked.

"Of course not. I just didn't want you to be lost if I used too much police terminology," Tom replied. He was definitely being sarcastic.

Kate rolled her eyes at his response and now Demming equaled the crazy in the conversation. Fantastic. This was about to get really ugly, really quickly. When did these men become teenagers?

"As fun as this conversation is, why don't we head down to Racine's office and talk to him," she said, snapping both men out of their verbal sparring match.

"The direct approach, I like it," Tom said with a smile.

"That's why she's my muse," Castle replied with pride as they walked toward the elevator. She brought her hand to her temple, trying to contain her sigh. One of them may not survive the day.

* * *

><p>Lunch time couldn't come soon enough. She and Castle were friends, sure, but maybe he did see her as more than just a potential hookup. His jealously was almost endearing at first, but the novelty had worn thin by this point, however. She waved her goodbyes to the group of "men" and raced to meet her mom for lunch. As per usual, Kate was running behind, and of course she saw her mom sitting at the table, checking her watch.<p>

"Hi Mom."

"Fifteen minutes late and no phone call. I was about to think you were standing me up, Katie," Johanna said.

"No. Of course not, just wrapped in the case. I'm sorry. I should've called."

"It's okay. I should expect it by now," she stated. Well this was going well. There was always a part of her mom that still hated the fact that she was a cop and convenient moments like these were the perfect opportunity for her to voice it in the native tongue of mothers everywhere: passive aggressive.

"Let's drop it," Kate suggested and her mom nodded. The waiter stopped by to take their orders which was followed by awkward silence between forced sips of water.

"How have you been? This is the longest we haven't talked, Katie," her mom said, finally breaking the ice again. Her tone seemed to be more at ease.

"Mom, it's only been a few days," Kate reminded.

"Still, we usually catch up with each other. Even if it's just a text. You've been avoiding me."

"I've been busy," she lied.

"Oh yes. Your new advisor," Johanna smirked.

"He's not an advisor."

"Uh huh," her mom replied in disbelief.

"Castle is just shadowing me, although he was pretty helpful on the case," she admitted with a smile.

"A smile? So is Rick Castle having a bit of an influence on you in other areas too?"

"It's complicated," Kate sighed. She was exhausted from her earlier conversation with Castle about this. Talking to her mom about her feeling, there is no way any good could come from this.

"Always is. The best things in life sometimes are, but the question to ask is he worth the complication?" Johanna asked and Kate bit her lip. Stupid nervous habit.

"He's fun and he makes me laugh."

"That's great, hon. So where's the complication?"

"Same as last time we talked, Mom. He's Richard Castle. And you know how Dad's death affected me—I just don't know if I can let him in," she stated and then took a long sip of water.

"How will you know, if you don't try?"

"We haven't known each other that long, Mom. Neither one of us are looking for anything at this point." Sure they were both physically attracted to one another; there was no denying that. Beyond the physical; did he care to know more? Hell, did she even care?

"But you like him?"

"Yes," she admitted, staring at the tablecloth.

"And that scares you?"

Kate's eyes shot up to look at her mom. "Of course." Why was she pressing this?

"Don't push him away, Katie. I didn't know your dad for long when we started dating, but it was nearly love at first sight. We had this unbelievable connection; this spark."

"I don't even know what I want. I barely know him and he could have anyone he wanted."

"Who is he following around? He stopped following someone else and now he's following you."

"For book research."

"Are you trying to convince me or trying to convince yourself?" Johanna wondered.

"He doesn't know anything about me."

"If you keep yourself behind your walls, then he never will," her mom explained, reaching over the table to squeeze her hand. The walls protected her and her mom knew that. Her mom had been with her every day after her dad died; her constant support. Hell, Johanna had lost her husband but she had held it together and supported her. Kate had been unbelievably close with her dad, definitely a daddy's girl and when he died; she had lost her way. The only way she could protect herself was to keep her heart safe and her mom had been there as it happened. When she snapped out of her memories, she realized that the waiter was there with their meals. She was very aware from the grumbling in her abdomen that she was starved. Taking a bite from her food, she looked across the table and noticed her mom eyeing her. Then it hit her, she was using the talk about Castle as a distraction. This was all a ploy and she was so preoccupied that she had fallen for it. No more. She needed answers.

"Was Dad's death really an accident?" Kate asked, confidence lacing her words; confidence that she wasn't sure was really there.

"Katie, of course it was," Johanna replied with a laugh.

"I'm not buying your excuse about the box. He died over a decade ago. You don't need his accident file."

"Some things are best left alone," her mom emphasized.

"What's that even suppose to mean?"

"Why are you bringing up the past, hon? Just let him rest in peace," Johanna stated and then looked down at her food. This was something, that was for sure, and her mom had been lying to her this entire time.

"I'm a homicide detective, Mom. If his death wasn't an accident, how can you even ask me to drop it?" she hissed across the table.

"It _was_ an accident and you need to just let it be," she insisted further.

"You're hiding something. You're lying to me about Dad."

"Katie, I'm protecting you from this and from yourself. Trust me. It was an _accident_!" her mom snapped. As long as she could remember, there had never been a time that her mom spoke to her in such a harsh tone.

"I don't need you to protect me. I'm not a child. What I need is the truth. What do you know? What are you hiding?"

"Kate. It was an _accident_!" Kate stared at her mom for a second. She had no words left for the woman who sat across from her. Her best friend, whom she didn't recognize anymore. Water clouded her vision for a moment before she gained her composure and the two women finished their meal in silence.

Eleven years of lies.

* * *

><p>After the disastrous lunch with her mother, she would have loved to just hide in her apartment and pretend this day hadn't happened, but she forced herself to return to the precinct. She came back for the victims. The victims' families deserved answers, and if she couldn't get them for herself, she needed to get them for others. Looking around the homicide floor, she was surprised to not see Castle or Demming anywhere. Taking a second glance, she noticed them in one of the conference rooms. She knew it was a bad idea to just stand there in the doorway, but after the awkward day she had with the two of them having an ego contest of sorts; she couldn't help but listen as they had an actual conversation.<p>

"You're kind of following her around like a lost puppy," Castle stated. Well, maybe actual conversation was a bit of an overstatement

"Oh. Because you have room to talk," Demming shot back. From where she was standing, she could only see Tom's expression, but she could imagine the annoyance in Castle's features.

"I'm shadowing her for research. What's your excuse?" It was great to see that they were continuing with maturity. At this rate, they might as well just drop their pants to see who was bigger.

"We're working the case together," Tom stated while glaring at Rick.

"Yeah, because from what I can tell, that seems completely normal and necessary. I'm sure it has nothing to do with the fact that you've been checking her out all day."

"And so what if I was. It's not like you guys are a thing," Demming bit back.

"Actually…" Actually, _what_?

"Actually, what? Wait, are you two together?" Tom asked, almost reading Kate's mind.

"We are, yes. So I'd appreciate if you stopped checking my girlfriend out," Castle snapped, leaving Tom to drop his jaw. Kate had the same reaction to Castle's statement. Where did he get off telling Tom that? And when the hell had she become his girlfriend?

_**TBC**_


	8. Chapter 8

__A/N- Thanks to you all for reading and giving this story so much love! It is so appreciated!__

__Jo- thank you for not giving up on me! Thank you for the beta.__

__All mistakes that remain are mine because I'm human.__

_Disclaimer- I do not own Castle or any of it's characters._

* * *

><p><strong><em>The More Things Change…<em>**

* * *

><p>…<em>the more they stay the same. Kate Beckett is bored with life, but when a serial killer starts dedicating murders to her- someone enters the scene to aid with the investigation and her life may never be the same. Season 2- AU Caskett meeting.<em>

* * *

><p><span><em><strong>Chapter 8<strong>_

'_So I'd appreciate if you stopped checking my girlfriend out'_

She stormed into the conference room a little more dramatically than was probably necessary. The look on Castle's face confirmed that he knew the reason for her hasty entrance. He looked like a little boy who was caught with his hand in the cookie jar. However, once her eyes met his, she knew she couldn't be in there with him. Not right now. As upset as she was, she didn't want to make a scene, and call him out in front of Demming. Sure, she was mad, but Kate still cared about the man.

"Just wanted to let you both know that I'm back from lunch. I'm going to check in with Esposito and Ryan," she stated, her voice a little more clipped than usual. She stalked back out of the room, ignoring the sound of Castle on her tail. Kate didn't even acknowledge the presence until she reached her desk.

"Kate—" Castle started, the cocky confidence drained from his voice.

"Next time, why don't you just pee on me!" she asked.

"Wh—what?"

"You were obviously trying to mark your territory, Castle. You were trying to let Demming know that I was yours and all that. A little animalistic, don't you think?"

"I may have gotten a little carried away in the moment," he concluded.

"You think? You had no right!"

"He asked if we were together—"

"And we're _not_." The words came out harsher than she intended, almost like a verbal slap and she could see the pain in his expression, but before she could take the words back, his features calmed themselves.

"I see." Guilt washed through her as she watched Castle pull inward. Sure, he'd irritated her with the conversation, but her anger wasn't completely to do with him. It was with her mom, the case, the cover up or _whatever_. Yet here she was; pushing it all off on him.

"Castle—I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It's fine."

"Cas—"

"Seriously. I'm sorry I overstepped. I read the signals wrong." He paused, looking like he had something else to say, but didn't continue.

"I told you that I'm not ready for anything right now. My life is kind of all over the place." She wanted to explain to him, make him understand, but she could tell it wouldn't work. His expression was masked, his guard up.

"Got it. Is Demming going to help with that?" Castle jeered. The snarky undertone of his voice was not lost on her.

"You think he's the reason? You know what—you are way out of line right now," she snapped.

"Yeah. I'm sure."

"Hey Beckett? We may have something," Demming called from the conference room.

"Great. I'll be right there," Kate said, forcing herself to keep her tone polite. In reality, she cringed at the sound of his voice. He'd chosen the perfect time to interrupt them, hurt flashing through the mask on Castle's face. "Rick?" She hesitated, trying to meet his eyes, but he wouldn't look at her.

"You go off with boy wonder. I should go home and get some writing done."

"I didn't tell you to leave."

"No—no you didn't, but I need to. Make sure you clear things up with detective boy. Make sure he knows you're free and clear."

She frowned. This had started with her furious at him, but right now she felt like she was the ass. How had that happened? When he was talking to Demming, it was like she was an object to fight over, but now—_he_ was hurt?

"Seriously Cas—"

"Night, Beckett."

She wanted to call out to him. Ease his hurt, but she couldn't. She wouldn't. He was just as at fault as she was. They weren't together. They were friends. The kiss had been amazing, but was it a mistake? She was an idiot and this was a complete mess. Castle was just the type of guy she dreamed of being with, but not like this. Not now. Her personal life was crumbling at her feet. There were lies; maybe a conspiracy. Almost like one of his books, there was a mystery she needed to solve and her family was at the center of it. This wasn't the time to let her guard down and get involved with someone who would only end up breaking her heart. She needed to do this on her own.

* * *

><p>They ended up closing the case without Castle's help, a corrupt cop their killer. At one point Demming had even appeared to be a suspect. That fact alone would've made Castle's day. But he was nowhere to be found.<p>

She had tried to call him the same day he stormed out of the precinct, but he'd made the excuse that he was behind on deadlines so he wouldn't be in until the next case. When Demming was suspected, she called him again to let him know—straight to voicemail. It'd been almost two full days since she'd heard from him. A first for him since he'd invaded her life with Shaw a few weeks ago.

"Crazy case," Demming said, walking up behind her and shaking her from her internal ramblings.

"Yeah, it was. I'm glad it's over and Ike's name is clear. Hopefully he can pick up the pieces with his family and move on from this," she replied.

Her thoughts flashed to her mom. Could they pick up the pieces and fix whatever was going on?

"So—" he started.

"I think I'm going to head out. Long day and all…"

"Date night with the writer?"

"No. Quiet night at home," she provided and he gave her a polite smile.

"I wanted to apologize. Didn't mean to ask you out when you were with someone else. If I would've know—I'm not that type of guy."

"Tom—it's fine. Things with Castle are complicated."

"So not together?" he wondered.

"Not, _not_ together. Like I said—complicated," she sighed, running her hands through her hair.

"But there's still a chance then, maybe?" Demming seemed hopeful, probably too hopeful. She was doing this all wrong. Was she giving off the impression that she was interested?

"No. I'm sorry. Maybe if things were different. You seem like a nice guy."

"Maybe in another life?" he joked. "Walk you out?"

"Sure. That would be nice," she said, with a small smile. He was very sweet and if her mind wasn't focused on Castle, maybe they could have had something. But he just wasn't what she was looking for right now.

They made their way out of the precinct and to the parking garage. Demming walked her right up to her cruiser, turning to her with a grin.

"It's been a pleasure, Detective Beckett." He held out his hand for her to shake. Kate eyed him, a nervous feeling fluttering in her belly. Swallowing the uneasiness down, she returned the handshake.

"It was. See you around, Detective."

"If you ever need another robbery consult, you know who to call," he said with a laugh and leaned forward. Before she could stop him, he brushed a kiss against her cheek. Kate placed her hand between them and pushed him away, preventing him from moving further.

"Goodnight, Tom," she said, her voice stern.

"Night Kate." He turned and walked toward his car. Innocent kiss on the cheek? Sure. Against every possible rule in the workplace code of conduct? Definitely. However, none of that explained the feeling of dread that pooled in her stomach like a ton of bricks. Groaning to herself, she rubbed her hands over her face and turned toward her car. That was when she saw him. Castle, standing next to his car with a look of utter devastation. Oh God.

"Rick." His name fell from her mouth in shock. She hadn't done anything, but she could only imagine how this scene had played out through his eyes. He'd avoided the precinct for two days because of Demming. Thinking that she had a thing for the detective, he'd finally made his way back to find her here with the 'enemy'. Hurrying over to where he was standing, she caught him just as he was jumping back into his driver seat. "Castle, stop."

"No Kate. I got the message, crystal clear," he spat.

"You really don't."

"I came by to apologize, but I apparently should've called. I'm going to go. Call me for your next case."

"Castle—"

He slammed the door and drove off, leaving her standing there in utter shock. How the hell had this happened?

Kate sat in her car after Castle stormed off. She really needed to talk to someone, clear her head. God, she wished she could call her mom, but all she felt was anger and resentment toward her. Could she even trust her anymore?

Pulling out her cell phone, she hovered over Castle's name. No, calling wasn't the answer, but she couldn't leave this alone.

'_It wasn't what it looked like. We need to talk,'_ she texted.

She waited for a bit, but her phone stayed silent. Sighing to herself, she found another contact. She didn't want to be alone.

'_Movie?'_

Her phone buzzed not long after.

'_I'll bring ice cream. Be there in 20'_

* * *

><p>As promised, Lanie showed up at her doorstep with a bag full of girl's night necessities. Kate gave her a sad smile as she ushered her friend into the living room and then flung her body onto the couch.<p>

"Girl, what happened?" her friend asked.

"What do you mean, what happened?" She wasn't intending to play dumb; she just didn't expect to be verbally jumped the moment she walked in the door.

"_You_, Kate Beckett,are not the type of friend that just calls me up for an impromptu movie night. _You_ are a planner. So what pray tell happened?"

"My life is—my love life is in shambles," she said. Lanie didn't need to know about her family drama, but talking about men? That she could handle.

"Love life? Have you been holding out on me?"

"Well—" Kate started.

"Don't tell me. Castle? No—that hot robbery detective?"

"Lanie—"

"Right."

"Castle," she admitted, almost in a whisper.

"_Really?_" Lanie sounded more stunned than Kate could have imagined.

"Well kind of. I mean, we kissed and now—"

"Now?" Oh this wasn't going to be easy; maybe a girl's night had been a bad idea.

"We have this connection and I like him. Probably more than I should for how little I know about him. But, I can't be with him right now. I'm not in the place where I can be with anyone." Even opening up to Lanie and being this honest was outside of her comfort zone.

"Kate, did you talk to him?" Lanie asked.

"I tried and I thought he understood. I mean, he seemed to get that I couldn't dive into something now. And—"

"And obviously he's interested in you—"

"He's been obvious about that since the day we met. Lane, he makes things fun and I _really_ need fun," Kate said with a small smile and then sighed.

"So the problem is, what, exactly?"

"Demming showed up."

"Please don't tell me. Kate Beckett, did you go from having no potential men in your life to now being torn between two?" she exclaimed.

"No! I'm not interested in Demming, but Castle thinks—"

"He's jealous," Lanie stated. She was filling in the holes in the story all by herself.

"Yes and he thinks that the reason I told him I couldn't be with him was because of Tom."

"Well just talk to him. Or better yet, surprise him at his place and _show_ him."

"He saw me and Demming," Kate admitted.

"Saw you do _what_ exactly?"

"Tom walked me out to my car and was saying good night. Before I could stop him, he kissed me on the cheek," Kate said, but then paused. Emotion started to rise in her throat, but she swallowed thickly and continued. "Wouldn't have been a huge issue except for the fact that Castle was there and saw us."

"Damn."

"Hence—shambles." Kate sighed and put her head in her hands.

"So in summary—my boring detective friend has one hot detective that she doesn't want anything to do with and then she has a handsome millionaire who she can't commit to. Mind you, the handsome millionaire is normally a playboy with a girl on each arm." Lanie's patronizing voice was not lost on her.

"When you say it like that, I sound like an idiot!"

"Well, how should you sound?" Lanie asked with a laugh.

"Okay, maybe I feel a little idiotic."

"Make him talk to you and go have fun with writer boy. A little fun _will_ do you good."

"But I'm not ready for a relationship," Kate repeated. At this point she couldn't decide if she was reminding Lanie or herself.

"Who said you need to be in a relationship, Kate? Like I said—fun. Now put the movie in!"

"Yeah. You're right," she said. The connection with Castle was too strong; there may not be a way to just do casual. Honestly, she didn't know if she _could_ do casual. And Castle was already telling Demming that they were together, so maybe he couldn't do casual with her either.

She needed to fix it somehow, before he left for good.

* * *

><p>Lanie left her apartment a couple hours after the movie was over; but not before leaving Kate with the parting gift of reminding her to talk to Castle and clear the air. All of which sounded like great advice in theory, but as she lay in bed that night her mom's voice rang in her head. '<em>I'm protecting you from this and from yourself'<em>. Castle and relationship drama were the least of her worries.

"I don't need protection. I need answers," she muttered to herself, as she threw back the covers. Looking around her room, she pulled on a sweatshirt, leggings and sneakers. She wasn't going to get any sleep tonight, not with her mind racing like this. Grabbing her keys and her gun, Kate rushed out of her apartment and drove to the precinct.

She was in luck that the person working the records room didn't ask many questions as to why she had shown up in the middle of the night. Third shift was apparently under the impression that the less they knew, the better. And that philosophy was precisely what she needed right now. Montgomery wouldn't be pleased to know that his lead homicide detective was snooping around in records without probable cause.

The problem was, she did have a reason. Maybe not probable cause yet, but she would get there. Something wasn't right about any of this and at this point she didn't know if her father's accident file would even be here. Pulling up his name in the computer system, she located Beckett, Jim. Of course they hadn't fully computerized his information yet. That would've made the whole process too easy.

Grabbing the box of files off of the shelf, she shuffled through and found the right one. Opening the folder up, she choked back the sob that rose in the back of her throat. It had been years since she'd seen pictures from the scene. It didn't matter how long he'd been gone; it took her back to that winter day when he hadn't shown up for dinner.

A truck had hit his car head on when he was on his way to the restaurant. He had died immediately.

Or at least that was what she had been told. That was what she had always been led to believe. She'd never really studied the accident file; there was never any need to. Traffic accidents happened every day, but now she wished she would've paid closer attention. Though at the time, she was a college student. Why would she ever have thought to investigate a car accident? She hadn't known anything about cover ups or conspiracies.

Flipping past the photos, she read the report.

And then she read it again.

The report itself made no sense compared to what her mom had told her about the accident. What she knew to be a simple tragic car accident in her memories appeared to be nothing of the sort. Witnesses claimed that the truck that hit her father seemed to be chasing him—trying to run him off of the road. There were several detailed witness accounts all saying the same thing. Every one of them said that this "_accident_" seemed anything but accidental. However, the officer on scene signed off on everything and charges weren't even filed. Her mom told her that the other driver had died in the accident and she remembered reading that in the newspaper as well. Yet, clear as day in bold print on the report there was a different truth:

**Fatalities: 1**

The walls were closing in on her. The air was too thick and the shelves filled with boxes were suffocating. Everything she knew for the last eleven years was proving to be a lie. Kate gasped as her tears blurred her vision. Against all protocol, she grabbed the files she needed and rushed out of the precinct. She needed fresh air; she needed to think.

Reaching her car, she threw herself and the files inside before she leaned her head on the steering wheel, allowing the tears to roll down her cheeks. The whole thing had to be a cover up. How far did this go? Who was involved? She couldn't trust anyone. There had to be people at the precinct who were involved in this and her Mom obviously had ties to the conspiracy.

Kate pulled out her cell phone and scrolled through her phonebook. Her thumb hovered over his name. She wanted to be able to trust him and she owed him an apology. He'd be willing to help; she knew it. Allowing herself to tap Rick's contact, she listened as her call went to his voicemail. She ended the call without leaving a message. It was probably for the best. This should be her cross to bear alone.

She'd get justice for her dad even if it killed her.

**TBC**

_Thanks for reading!_


	9. Chapter 9

_A/N- Jo your help and beta is absolutely amazing! _

_Thanks to everyone who is reading this! You are all fantastic! I was a little under the weather this week so I'm sorry if I didn't personally respond to your messages. They were all appreciated! Thank you._

_Joanna and Jan - thanks for the being my daily cheerleaders and my guinea pigs with my ideas :)_

_Disclaimer- Castle is not mine, but all the mistakes are. Also- you will recognize a few lines of dialogue that was borrowed from a Season 2 episode._

* * *

><p><strong><em>The More Things Change…<em>**

* * *

><p>…<em>the more they stay the same. Kate Beckett is bored with life, but when a serial killer starts dedicating murders to her- someone enters the scene to aid with the investigation and her life may never be the same. Season 2- AU Caskett meeting.<em>

* * *

><p><span><em><strong>Chapter 9<strong>_

She had fallen asleep with her face in the file. Studying it. Memorizing every last detail. Every line that described the scene. Every word that covered up the truth. The lies that her mother hid all these years. Lies that her mom apparently tried to protect her from. Her father's accident report read like a work of fiction; Castle could've probably written something more convincing at this point.

Rubbing the back of her neck, Kate stretched her body and looked at the clock. It was already 7 a.m. and she was no closer to figuring out the details than when she started. The next step she needed to take would be to look in that box in her mom's closet. There had to be a reason that she had all that information and if her mother wouldn't give her the information; well she would just have to investigate on her own.

Her cell phone started to buzz on her nightstand. A place deep in her mind wished it was Castle but at this hour, she knew better. Reaching for the device, Kate could see it was dispatch. Early morning case.

"Beckett," she barked into the receiver. The voice on the line gave her directions to the fresh body drop and hung up. She rubbed her hands into her eye sockets and sighed. Her impromptu late night research plan hadn't been the smartest thing to do when she was on call. "Coffee. I need all of the coffee possible," she muttered to herself before dragging her body toward the shower.

* * *

><p>She almost didn't call him assuming he wouldn't show up, but true to his word he did. New case; he was standing there with coffee in hand.<p>

"Hey," he greeted her, as he gave her one of the cups.

"Hey. Thanks. I didn't think I'd see you."

"Well this is a new case and we're in luck because I don't see your detective boyfriend," he said with a tinge of annoyance.

"Castle, about that—" She needed to get him to listen to her so he could understand that Demming was not an issue.

"Hey Beckett. The body's back here," Esposito called out to her, interrupting her explanation to Castle. She looked in Castle's direction, wanting to continue but he shrugged.

"Not important, Beckett. We're here for the case." So coffee obviously didn't mean that things were okay. Coffee was just him being nice. Her eyes followed as he walked off toward Esposito, leaving her lost in thought. Gaining her composure, she walked back into the kitchen to find the guys all huddled around the body.

"Victim's name is Balthazar Wolf. He was the head chef here at Q3."

"Big Bad Wolf from Kitchen Wars! No! I never got to taste his foie gras sandwich," Castle whined.

"I'm sorry for your loss," Kate sneered in his direction. "Do you need to mourn elsewhere or can you handle us investigating the scene?" she asked, walking around the orange cones.

"I'm good," he stated, recovering from his shock.

"Pastry Chef, Spike Ridenhauer and the dishwasher Juan Costa found him this morning when they arrived to start prepping for the day," Ryan explained, walking over to Esposito, Castle and her. "They said that when they left him yesterday he was finishing up a special order cake."

"What the COD?" Kate asked.

"Well if you can't tell by now, he was frozen using LN2 or what's commonly known as liquid nitrogen," Perlmutter replied dryly.

"How cool!" Castle squealed, earning him a glare from both Perlmutter and herself.

"Detective Beckett, can you control your shadow? He's stepping on parts of the victim's finger," the ME snapped.

"Castle!"

"Oops. Sorry. Does that mean I have finger stuck in the sole of my shoe?" Castle asked, faking a shiver down his spine. She tried her best to cover up the small smile that wanted to form on her lips. He was such a child sometimes.

"Castle, dead body. Please show some respect. Perlmutter, do you have a time of death?"

"Not yet. I'll have to take him back to the morgue to see if I can get him to thaw a bit," he replied and then went back to documenting the scene.

"Okay, call me when you find something." They walked out to the dining area and found the tall blonde owner standing by the hostess desk.

"Owner's name is—" Espo started before she cut him off.

"Madison?!" she called, realizing that she knew the owner.

"Becks?!" Madison excused herself from the hostess and walked toward where they were standing.

"I take it they know each other," Castle quipped to Esposito. Esposito shook his head and laughed before walking off with Ryan.

"This is Madison Queller, a friend from high school. Madison, this is Richard Castle," Kate said, with a polite smile.

"Oooh, high school friend. So you must know where all the bodies are buried." His eyes lit up and she could tell the wheels were turning in his head.

"Castle, this is investigation time. Not book research time," she reprimanded him before turning her attention back to Madison. "Rick is writing a book based on NYPD detectives."

"How exciting, Becks! Anything I can do to help, Rick," Madison said with a small wink. Sure it wasn't a huge gesture, but the flirtation was enough to cause a pang of jealous in Kate's stomach. "I still can't believe Kate Beckett became a cop! I would've never guessed that girl I met in ninth grade French would end up as a detective."

"Yeah well, people change. So how well did you know Wolf," Kate asked, trying to redirect the conversation back to the investigation. There was a weird energy here. They hadn't exactly ended their friendship on the best terms, and sitting here with Castle who had avoided talking to her about his feelings or lack thereof, the awkwardness level was growing to an uncomfortably high level.

* * *

><p>Back at the precinct, Kate stormed off of the elevator toward the break room with Castle hot on her heels.<p>

"So you're going out on a date with her?" she snapped.

"Not a date. I'm lending your old friend some moral support, all while getting to try out Rocco's new menu. I've been dying to sample the food at his new place." Castle seemed to be trying to calm her, but at the same time, she saw a gleam of amusement in his eyes.

"Mmhmm. I see." This was obviously not worth the fight. She needed to work through the case and then have a decent conversation with Castle.

"Well you seemed to be busy when she asked you. So obviously you have a date. Demming?" He wasn't dropping the idea, was he? Kate could feel her cheeks start to burn as the irritation grew in her system

"Castle, we're in the middle of a murder investigation. I can't be having dinner with a possible suspect."

"One, way to side step and avoid the date comment. Two, you think Madison could've actually killed him?" He was trying to get under her skin, she knew it. She could see it coming, but her head couldn't prevent her emotions from boiling over.

"No I don't think she killed him, but I can't rule it out until we have hard evidence. And I'm not sidestepping anything! About Demming—"

"Hey Beckett, we have Wolf's next of kin here," Ryan said, interrupting her. This was getting ridiculous. She needed to finish a sentence—finish a thought - without someone stopping her.

"Thanks Ryan, we'll be right there." He turned back and went off toward his desk. Castle started to walk out of the break room, but she grabbed his arm to hold him back.

"Beckett, we shouldn't leave his family to wait—"

"You won't talk to me and we keep getting interrupted anytime I try to explain to you," she said, frustration coloring her words.

"There's nothing to explain."

"I'm not dating Demming." She rushed the words out in one breath and then met his eyes. "I'm not dating anyone. I meant what I said—it's not a good time for me to be in a relationship. It doesn't mean—I just don't understand this date with Maddie," she said, changing her train of thought. She wanted him to know that she was still interested. That she still thought about their kiss, but the words sounded petty even in her own head.

"You are _unbelievable_!" he snapped. "Detective Beckett is jealous that her play thing has a date with someone else. For the record, this isn't a date either. I was viewing it as book research, but Kate, seriously. If you don't want me, am I just supposed to be alone until you get lonely again?"

"Castle—" Is that what he really thought? That she was just trying to string him along? He was world famous and could find someone different, someone better. And while that reality hurt her, his words confused her. They've known each other for a little over a month. When had she fallen this hard?

"What, Kate?" His voice laced with hurt and rejection. Maybe she wasn't the only one who had fallen, and what was worse was now they were both hurt.

"I'm sorry—" Her voice was almost a whisper, all confidence drained.

"I bet," he snapped and stalked out of the break room.

Everything about this hurt and she really didn't have a right. He had made his feelings known. Castle liked her, she was the problem. She was always the problem.

* * *

><p>Hours later, she was walking toward the murder board when she noticed Maddie stepping off of the elevator.<p>

"Madison, what are you doing here? I thought you had dinner with Castle?" Kate asked her friend, meeting her by the elevator.

"Oh, yes. I'm on my way to the restaurant now, but I wanted to drop off this basket as a way to thank you for your help with the investigation," Madison said with a grin, handing Kate the gift.

"It's our job. You really didn't need to, but baked goods are always welcome. Oatmeal cookies! Oh my God, did you remember these were my favorite?"

"Of course. We used to be best friends." Kate looked through the basket some more, before looking up at Madison with a smile.

"Yeah. Seems so long ago. Crazy to think that after all these years, we ran into each other through a murder."

"New York is a crazy place," Maddie said with a laugh.

"That's for sure," Kate said with a nervous giggle before she straightened her face and took a deep breath. "Madison, this dinner—you guys are just going as friends right? You're not interested in Castle, are you?" She couldn't believe she was actually doing this. If she couldn't have a conversation with Castle, she needed to at least find out somehow.

"Rick's hot, Kate. I wouldn't mind for something to happen with him. He seems like a lot of fun. Why? Is there something going on with you two?" Her tone changed when it seemed to dawn on her the reason for Kate's question.

"It's complicated. We made out last week. So I guess you could say," Kate replied, with the guilt of Castle's earlier words ringing in her head. She didn't have any right to him. What was she doing? But he'd told Demming she was his girlfriend, so it was no different, she insisted to herself. If he could lie about their relationship - or lack thereof - so could she.

"Becks, you just kissed him? That's it? You can't really stake claim on him for that," Maddie stated with a smile.

"Not trying to stake claim. Like I said—complicated," she said, backpedaling and trying to bring back an iota of dignity to her being.

"Well maybe my date tonight can ease some of your complications." Madison smirked at Kate, leaving her speechless. God, she was always such a bitch in high school.

"He's a good guy, Maddie. Please don't hurt him."

"Because you're doing such a great job of that? Maybe you should take your own advice, Becks. I'll try to make sure he's home by curfew," she shot over her back as she stepped back on the elevator.

Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes and didn't open them until she heard the doors close. True Madison was being her usual self. This was the reason they stopped talking in high school. Brent Edwards from English class. Kate had had the biggest crush on him, but Maddie decided to date him fully aware of Kate's feelings. God, this was senior year all over again! Only this time, she was the only one to blame. She'd pushed Castle away, but maybe it was for the best. Maddie was fun loving and uncomplicated, or at least she used to be. She was a better option for Castle. A better option than dark and damaged which is what Kate seemed to be lately.

* * *

><p>Later that night, in a fit of poetic justice, Kate had to find Madison at the restaurant. Standing there watching as they fed each other a forkful of food, this was the absolute last place she wanted like to be. Of course, evidence had to be found giving Madison motive in Wolf's murder and of course this had to happen while Madison and Castle were having dinner. So now she had the grand honor of storming in like the fun police in a fit of jealousy. Nothing could be more perfect. Kate cringed, already imagining their reactions, and forced herself to trudge forward.<p>

"Becks, what are you doing here?" Maddie greeted her with a glare.

"Kate," Castle said nearly choking as he dropped his fork. His expression made it clear that he was well aware that she had caught him feeding Madison.

"Madison, I need to ask you a couple questions," she stated, her tone void of emotion.

"Well, did you have to interrupt dinner?" the blonde asked.

"Yes, they can't wait."

"Well, then pull up a chair," Madison replied with a shrug.

"No, Maddie. It needs to be down at the station and it needs to be now." Her voice was stern, and the dinner companions both appeared a little jarred by her intrusion. Madison huffed and made her way to the exit with Beckett, Castle and the uniforms trailing behind.

* * *

><p>"Now look who's trying to mark their territory," Castle said under his breath as they walked into the precinct. "Isn't that what you accused me of last week?"<p>

"I'm not marking territory. I'm sorry I interrupted your date. It wasn't my intention." Maybe it wasn't her intention, but she could only imagine how it had looked to him.

"Mmhmm," he said with a smirk. He started to follow her into the interrogation room where Maddie was waiting, when she turned her body back to face him. With her index finger to his chest, she pushed him back from the door.

"Um no, _Rick_. You were just making love eyeballs at the suspect over a gourmet meal. You can watch from the observation room."

"Wow, Beckett. Power trip galore!" Castle snapped.

"I'm the cop! You're the cop helper person!" She argued with her hand, motioning to the observation room to reaffirm her point.

"How eloquent! "

"You go over there!" she said and opened the interrogation room door to find a very irritated suspect. When the door slammed shut, Kate walked over to set her file onto the table and turned to Madison.

"Nice move, Becks. I get that you liked him and I should've listened—but did you really need to haul me down to the station to stop the date," she yelled.

"Madison, that's not why I did it!"

"Oh sure it is. You're hot for Castle. You want to make little Castle babies!" Sure, Castle already knew that she liked him. She just didn't appreciate it being thrown in her face, nor did the rest of the precinct need to hear about this little outburst.

"Maddie!" she hissed. "He can hear you through the glass!"

"Oh! It's a two-way mirror, like on TV? How cool!" Madison walked up to the mirror and waved to where she assumed Castle would be standing. Beckett rubbed her hands against her temples and sat down in the chair.

"No, not cool. You have motive. Now sit down. Tell me about the insurance policy."

Madison looked down at her and sighed. Slumping down in the seat across the table, she explained herself to Kate.

* * *

><p>Luckily Madison wasn't the killer. As mixed as their history was, Kate had never wanted her to be guilty. She was hunched over her desk now, sorting through papers and trying to make some sense out of the evidence when Maddie walked out from booking.<p>

"So I guess I'm free to go," she said.

"Yes. Your alibi confirmed it couldn't possibly be you, and you helped us with a new potential suspect."

"So I guess this wasn't a total waste," she joked, the previous edge to her voice all but vanished. "Becks, can you walk me out?"

"Uh, yeah sure," Kate replied with a smile. They walked to the elevator before Maddie turned to face her.

"I wanted to apologize. It's obvious there is something between Castle and you. I shouldn't have tried to interfere. This isn't high school anymore"

"No. It's not," she agreed.

"And I'm sorry I tried to regress back. Castle's not Brent Edwards and this isn't senior year. Make sure he knows how you feel, Kate. You and I may have a lot of catching up to do, but your feelings for him are painted across your face."

"It's comp—"

"Don't say it's complicated. Because it's not. You're hiding behind that word. I can tell." She gave her a quick hug and stepped into the elevator.

"It was nice seeing you, Madison," she replied.

"We need to catch up over drinks sometime soon."

"I would love that," Kate agreed and then waved goodbye as the doors shut. Her mind wandered, thinking over her friend's words. How could someone whom she hasn't spoken to in over ten years be so right about this?

"Hey, Madison left without saying goodbye," Castle stated, snapping her out of the daydream. She didn't even notice him walk over to her.

"Oh. Guess your date is over," she said, almost apologetically, walking with him over to the break room.

"Just as well, though I am devastated that I didn't get to finish that menu tasting."

She looked up at him for a brief moment, but their eyes met before she diverted her eyes.

"I really am sorry, Castle. About everything."

"No more apologies. Kate, it is what it is. You and I both know that Madison and I were never going to work."

"That's not all I'm apologizing for," she whispered.

"I know, but I meant it. Not necessary," he replied. She met his eyes again; long enough to notice the anger from earlier was gone. Maybe not completely happy, but the look from their fight wasn't anywhere to be found.

"Go get some rest Castle." She could tell he was about to object, but she cut his words off. "I'm not far behind you. Nothing more we can do today."

"Okay. Until tomorrow, Detective," he said, holding out his hand for her to shake. The gesture was way too formal and left her with an ache inside. She was losing him.

"Night, Castle." She walked over to her desk and flopped down onto her chair. At least he was being civil with her, but she didn't want civil. Their connection extended far passed civil.

* * *

><p>On her way home for the day, Kate finally broke down, unable to fight her stubbornness anymore. Grabbing her cell from her purse, she called her mom, trying to mend what was possibly forever broken. The call went unanswered. Johanna's voicemail happily greeted her and it felt like a blow to her stomach. What if it was too late? What if it wasn't fixable?<p>

'_Mom, I need you. I'm still angry. I still don't know what to think, but I do know I need my mom. Please don't let me lose you, too.'_

Tears flooded her eyes after leaving the message, and she was outright sobbing by the time she walked through her front door. Never in her life had she felt more alone, and she felt responsible for all of it. Throwing her keys and bags on the kitchen counter and wiping away the moisture from her face, she decided that she needed to relax in a bath. While the water filled up the tub, she went back into the kitchen to pour herself a glass of her favorite red. With her glass in hand, Kate checked the water and sighed in relief seeing it was ready.

Sinking into the hot liquid, she rested her head against the ledge. Her heart was at war with her head and she was sick of her head winning. Tears streamed down her face again as the true weight of her actions consumed her. Castle had completely gotten under her skin. It didn't matter how different they were. It didn't matter how long they had known each other. What mattered was that she cared about him and he brought joy to her life. It didn't need to make sense on paper.

She had seen the pain in his eyes; the light within them slightly dimmer because of the mixed messages she'd been sending. Pushing him away was the best answer she could come up with in her head at the time, but in the end she'd proven herself wrong. Maybe she wasn't ready for a full relationship right now, but that didn't mean she wouldn't be in the future. Castle hadn't even asked for a relationship, he'd just asked for her to be there. She could give him that much. Nothing deeper. She wasn't ready to let him in all the way. The details around her father's death, those needed to remain close to the vest. That was too personal for whatever this could be with Castle. That still needed her wall around her heart and it still needed to be protected.

However, she needed fun, and she wanted to forget. He could make her forget. Wiping the tears away from her eyes, she reached for her cell off of the table and dialed his number, fully expecting that it would go straight to voicemail.

"Hello." She froze when he picked up. Words were on the tip of her tongue, but no sound would come out. "Kate?"

"Ca—Castle. Hi." Hi? That was all she could muster?

"Beckett? It's midnight. You just called to say hi?" he asked, his voice groggy.

"No. I called to say I'm sorry." The randomness of her words continued. She really should have figured this out before she dialed his number.

"Kate I told you, no more apologies."

"No, I know. But I mean it, because I care what you think and I hate that you're upset," she rambled with tears rolling down her cheeks. She was on the verge of being an incoherent mess and she never let anyone see or hear her like this. Hell, at this rate, she was probably scaring him off. She wasn't really eluding at the fun she was hoping to have with him.

"Hey—hey. Do you need me to come over?" Concern flooded his words, and she could only imagine the look of worry on his face right now.

"No, you don't need to. Not now, but I know this may sound stupid—" she said, with her voice still thick with emotion. Taking a deep breath, she cleared her throat and got to her point. "Castle. I've made a mess of things and I pushed you away. I don't want to do that anymore."

"This doesn't sound like a phone call type of conversation—" he interjected.

"It needs to be. I don't want to be distracted or lose sight of what I'm trying to say."

"Okay."

"I'm not ready for a relationship, Castle."

"You've made that abundantly clear," he whispered. She wasn't completely sure if he meant for her to hear the statement or not.

"But—" she continued.

"But?"

"Yes, there's a but," she said, smiling into the phone. "Just because I may not be ready and I don't want titles doesn't mean we can't be around each other in a way that's more than friends. We can still have fun and I really could use some fun."

"Detective Beckett, are you propositioning me for friends with benefits?" Castle chuckled his question into the phone.

"No—no! God I'm horrible at this. I just want to know if we can start fresh? Maybe go on a date?" she asked in a hurry.

"Wow, 'Ms. I don't want a relationship', is asking me on a date," he joked.

"You're right. Maybe this was a bad idea," Kate said, wishing she could unsay her entire speech.

"I'd love to." Oh. Maybe she wasn't so horrible at this after all. Her face broke out into a smile while they finished up their conversation. They were going on a real date. She shook her head in complete disbelief about how her life had taken a complete turn in the month since she had met him. She had a date with Richard Castle.

Her internal celebration was interrupted when she heard her phone buzz. A text from her mom.

_'Katie, I got your message. We need to talk. Can we meet tomorrow? I need you to be safe.'_

Her smile fell.

_**TBC**_

_Thank you for reading!_


	10. Chapter 10

_A/N- Jo thank you so much for all your beta help!_

_Thank you to everyone who is reading, following, favoriting and reviewing. And thanks to Joanna and Janna for the pep talks :)_

_Disclaimer- Castle is not mine, but all the mistakes are._

* * *

><p><strong><em>The More Things Change…<em>**

* * *

><p>…<em>the more they stay the same. Kate Beckett is bored with life, but when a serial killer starts dedicating murders to her- someone enters the scene to aid with the investigation and her life may never be the same. Season 2- AU Caskett meeting.<em>

* * *

><p><span><em><strong>Chapter 10<strong>_

"Mom," Kate called out as she walked through Johanna's front door. The apartment was dead silent before she heard some rustling from her mom's room. "Mom?" she asked, walking toward the noise and nearly running smack into Johanna as she hurried out of her room.

"God! Katie, you scared me half to death."

"I said your name a couple times. Didn't you hear me?"

"Guess not. I was focused on something else," her mom stuttered in reply. Her gaze shifted as she avoided Kate's eyes.

"Mom? Is everything okay? You told me we needed to talk."

"Did I? Oh. Guess I did." She watched as her mom paused and darted her eyes around the room. Something was definitely odd. She seemed skittish, nothing like how she normally acted. "Oh—um. I got your text and I just wanted to see you. See that you were okay and well."

"Yeah, I'm fine. What is this about? The text told me to be safe and now you're acting strange. Seriously—talk to me."

"I'm actually on my way out for the morning. I have an early meeting."

"You asked for me to come over."

"Oh really? I'm sorry that I bothered you. Let me walk you out. We should have lunch sometime soon."

"You're worrying me. Nothing about this makes sense," she pleaded. Her mom pulled her into a tight hug and turned toward her ear.

"Katie, please be careful. It's getting dangerous. I'll let you know when we can talk," Johanna whispered. Her voice was cracked and panicked. Kate's heart plummeted hearing how desperate her mom sounded.

"I don't understand—"

"I promise. I'll explain. I just _can't_ now," her mom continued. Pulling away from her, Kate met her eyes and she gave her small smile.

"I love you, Mom."

"Love you too, hon. _Please_ take care of yourself. Everything will be okay. I'm making sure of it," Johanna promised, as she escorted her through the door.

Her mom practically slammed the door shut as soon as Kate was through it. Of all the conversations she'd ever had with her, this was the first one where she could remember Johanna being so frantic. She had scooted her out the door, but if her mom really had a meeting, why was she still in the apartment? Nothing about this made any sense.

* * *

><p>Kate was still trying to figure out what the conversation with her mom meant the next day. She and Castle had planned their date for tonight, but as she walked through the bullpen, doubt was creeping into her subconscious - until she saw him, standing next to her desk, waiting with her coffee. God, he couldn't be this perfect.<p>

Yesterday her mind had been all over the place; it was the latest she had ever showed up to work when they had an active case. It had been weird though. It could have been her mom's words lurking in her mind, but she felt like someone was watching her as she made her way to the precinct. Kate brushed it off as her mom's erratic behavior making her paranoid. Luckily, when she finally arrived, Ryan and Esposito already had a suspect in the box. They had the case wrapped up by lunch, and all paperwork was filed by the time she went home.

Shaking her worries from yesterday out of her mind, she walked over to where he was standing. Tonight was definitely a good idea, she concluded. Castle was exactly what she needed right now.

"Morning Kate," Castle greeted with a smile, handing her a travel mug of coffee. "One vanilla latte for the detective."

"Oh, Castle. Hi," she said, after a sip of the coffee. "Thank you. This is amazing."

"Anytime. Are we still on for tonight?" His question was filled with hesitation.

"Yeah, I hope so," she replied, meeting his eyes. Her face broke out into a smile when she saw the sheer joy in his expression from her response.

"Good. I'm glad. So—does seven work for you?" he asked, as they walked together into the break room; the middle of the homicide floor was not the best place to discuss their plans.

"Castle, I asked you out. Shouldn't I plan it?" she asked, leaning against the counter.

"No. Detective, it's our first official date. I plan to wow you," Castle replied, propping himself against the counter next to her.

"You don't need to wow me. I've known you long enough. I don't want to go out with Richard Castle, page six playboy author. I want to go out with Castle, my irritating and sometimes helpful shadow," Kate said. A giggle escaped from her lips when Castle scoffed at her description.

"Sometimes helpful?"

"So you're okay with irritating?"

"Well I'm not perfect and I'm sure you meant irritating in an endearing sort of way," he laughed. "So how about I agree to irritating if we can remove sometimes and replace with always?"

"Deal. Now will your always helpful self allow me to plan our date?"

"Nope. I'll pick you up at seven for dinner. Does that work?"

"We could always order in," she said, in a low voice, her words full of hidden meaning as heat rose to her cheeks, moving closer into his personal space and touching his bicep. "Open a bottle of wine. Just relax." His eyes lit up for a second, but he shook his head.

"Kate, let me take you out. If you keep talking like that, I won't be able to think straight."

"Maybe I don't want you thinking much at all." She kept her face straight, looking him up and down.

"Are you trying to kill me before our date? What has gotten into you?" he asked, stumbling over his words. She couldn't hold it together anymore and she broke out into a fit of laughter.

"You are so easy!" she giggled.

"So not funny."

"Oh come on, it was a little funny."

"You're evil."

"Maybe so, but I'll be ready by seven as long as we don't catch a case today."

"First time I'm hoping for a quiet day," he sighed.

"If you were a cop, you'd always being hoping for a quiet day, but that wouldn't give you much inspiration for your books."

"Beckett, I even find it inspirational when you fill out your paperwork."

"Okay, Castle. Now you're laying it on a little thick. I'm already going out with you."

"I just speak the truth," he whispered in her ear.

"Hey guys," Ryan greeted, walking into the room and metaphorically throwing ice water on their conversation. "Montgomery was looking for you, Beckett."

"Thanks, Ryan. I'll be right there," she replied and he nodded before turning to leave the room. Leaning over to Castle, she smiled and gave his arm a quick squeeze. "We can finish this tonight."

* * *

><p>As promised, there was a knock on her door at seven p.m. sharp. Butterflies fluttered in her stomach without her permission; it didn't make sense. She had spent all day with him and this was Castle. But once she opened the door, everything would change. Taking a deep breath, Kate straightened her knee length, emerald green, one shoulder dress and opened the door.<p>

"Hey, Castle." The writer stood in the hallway wearing a dark suit, white shirt and dark tie; in his hands was a beautiful bouquet of white calla lilies.

"Wow Kate. You look fabulous," he said, handing the flowers to her.

"Thanks, these are beautiful. And you don't look so bad yourself," she said with a smile, heat warming her cheeks. Motioning him into her apartment, she walked over into her kitchen to put the flowers into some water.

"I haven't been back here since having the pleasure of sleeping on your couch," Castle joked, sitting down on it. "Though the pleasure was slightly ruined with the dead body and Agent Shaw's judgment the next day."

"Aww memories," she said while rolling her eyes. "Have you talked to Jordan recently?" She moved to sit on the cushion next to him, trying to move the conversation to a safe topic. She wanted them to actually make it to their date because the way he was looking at her was intense. Their connection, their spark—tonight on their date, no one would be there to interrupt and she wasn't sure their tentative 'relationship' could handle her running away again.

"Yeah. I still talk to her here and there. Even though it was my publisher's idea to follow her in the first place, we ended up becoming friends. The other day was her daughter's birthday so I sent a gift. I just wanted to make sure she got it in time."

"That's really sweet, Castle. So she didn't have any hard feelings about you following me now?"

"No, of course not. I was right when I told you before, she was a bit relieved. Though I joked that her case closure rate better not drop in my absence," he laughed and she shook her head.

"You would! Some days I wonder how you and your ego fit into the same room!"

"I think you find my ego sexy or we wouldn't be going on a date tonight."

"Don't make me reconsider," Kate said with a laugh. "So where are we going?"

"It's a surprise," he said looking down at his watch. "But we really should be going or we'll be late for our reservation." Castle stood up and reached out a hand for Kate to help her up. However instead of releasing his hand when she was on her feet, she interlaced their fingers and squeezed.

"Lead the way, Castle."

* * *

><p>The town car pulled up to the restaurant and Kate let out a small laugh. It was the brand new restaurant that she had been dying to try and it just so happened to be Q3 - Maddie's direct competition.<p>

"Castle, this is too much. Plus, should we really be eating here? Isn't this a bit mean to Madison?"

"First of all, nothing is too much for you. Second of all, all's fair when it comes to food and what she doesn't know won't hurt her," he explained.

They walked into the restaurant and were escorted immediately back to their table.

As she studied the menu, Kate couldn't help but notice the way that Castle was staring at her.

"You really are gorgeous." She could only imagine the blush that painted her cheeks.

"Flattery will get you everywhere, Mr. Castle," she said with a laugh. "So is this a typical Richard Castle date?"

"Kate, nothing about us will ever be typical," he replied with a wink.

Everything was fantastic, but she couldn't help the paranoid feeling of someone watching her - or them. Her mom had worried her yesterday and she really had tried her best to remove it from her mind, but right now in this moment, the feeling was hard to ignore.

"Castle? Do you feel like people are watching us?"

"No. Not that I can tell, it's usually obvious when a fan is staring. I haven't spotted anyone."

"Oh, my mistake," she stated, trying to dismiss the notion. Of course he wouldn't find it odd to be stared at; he was famous. Maybe that was all it was, maybe the feeling was just a Richard Castle groupie paying attention to their date and Castle was oblivious to it. At this point, he could be slightly jaded toward the attention. Tonight was for fun. Tonight would not be bothered with conspiracies and warnings. She took a sip of her wine and forced herself to block the fears from her mind. Castle took a sip of his glass as well; he appeared to be enjoying himself. Maybe she was holding herself together on the outside a little bit better than on the inside.

"I'm glad we're doing this, Kate," he said, his tone sincere.

"Me too. I really needed a fun night out," she admitted with a small smile.

"Well I hope I don't let you down."

"I hope you don't either," she teased.

"Oh you just wait, Detective. The second part of our date is definitely fun." A huge grin stretched across his face, as his eye brows wiggled in the little dance, earning him a loud laugh from Kate's lips.

"Pressure's on Castle. Don't hype up the rest of the date unless you think it can really deliver."

"Beckett, trust me. The second part is so much better than this." He reached across the table and squeezed her hand gently. The moment his skin met hers, the spark electrified her skin. God, she had it bad for him and she wouldn't let her haunted mind ruin it.

* * *

><p>After what she could only imagine was Castle completely exaggerating the rest of their date, she was a little shocked to see where they were going. When they arrived at the next destination Kate started to get curious about what Castle's true intentions of the evening were.<p>

"We're at your loft?"

"Yes, is this a problem?"

''Isn't that a bit presumptuous?" she asked, with mock offense.

"Kate, we're here because my family is out for the night and I wanted the second part of our date to be a movie."

"And why couldn't we just go to a theater?"

"Because I wanted to show you my favorite movie—which doesn't happen to be playing at any theater at the moment."

"Oh really? And what is this movie that we'll be watching?" she teased.

"Well it's not the typical thing I'd watch on a first date, but you said you didn't want to date Richard Castle, author. You wanted to date the real me—"

"Castle, you're rambling. What are we watching?"

"Forbidden Planet," he mumbled as his ego slipped away.

"Forbidden Planet?"

"Oh God. This was a bad idea, you think it's lame. We can do something else."

"Rick—I love Forbidden Planet. It's one of my favorites, as well." She gave him a light touch on his arm to reassure him.

"Really?" he asked in complete shock.

"Really."

"I may find you even hotter, now that I know this," he joked. Grabbing a hold of her hand, he led her into his place before turning to place a quick kiss on the cheek. Her hand flew to her cheek to calm the heat left behind by his lips. "Sorry. I'm just having a good time with you—" Kate smiled in his direction and shook her head.

"Don't apologize, unless you don't have popcorn. That's my movie requirement."

"Oh we will definitely have popcorn!"

"Good." She looked up at him and grinned. Tonight had been perfect. He started to move away toward the kitchen, but she stopped him. Pulling him back to her body, she leaned up and brushed a kiss onto his lips. "Thank you for tonight. I really needed this," she whispered before lightly kissing him again. Castle's face broke out into a huge smile when she broke away.

"This has been the perfect night so far."

"It has. Now go make us some popcorn and I'll pour us some wine so it can continue."

"Definitely like your thinking!"

* * *

><p>By the end of the movie, they'd finished one bowl of popcorn, one entire bottle of red wine and they were lying down next to each other on the couch. The credits continued to roll, but she didn't want to move out of his strong arms as he held her close. He was warm and safe. Sighing, she turned to lie on his chest, in no hurry to leave.<p>

"I still love that movie," she stated, talking into the fabric of his shirt.

"Me too. Leslie Nielsen is truly underrated as an actor," Castle declared, pulling his arms tighter around her body. "I wish tonight didn't have to end—" His voice trailed off, almost like he was afraid that he said too much.

"It doesn't have to yet—" The words were out of her mouth, before she could fully think about what she was saying.

"Kate—" It sounded like he started to object, but then his lips were on hers and the time for thinking was over. She could blame it on the wine, but it would be a lie. The only buzz she felt was from the trail of his lips and his hands. Her hands were moving faster than her mind and she loosened his tie. His lips broke from her skin just long enough so that so could remove the silk from his neck. "What do you want Kate?" he asked as his hands travelled lower, skating against the hem of her dress.

"This. I want you," she gasped out, as her lips moved down his jaw onto his neck as her fingers worked the buttons of his shirt.

"Are you sure?" Ever the gentlemen, she could tell his hesitation was caused by her panic from last time, but she needed to calm his fears. She wanted this; hell, she needed this. Popping his last button, she ran her nails down his chest while her lips sucked the flesh of his earlobe into her mouth.

"Take me to bed Castle," she growled in his ear. That was the only confirmation he needed. With both of her legs wrapped around his waist, he carried her off toward his room and slammed the door shut.

* * *

><p>The sun peeked through the window, warming her face. She turned away from the light and her body was met with the warmth of a different kind. A smile crept onto her lips as the memories of last night flooded her mind. She didn't want to open her eyes yet so she could stay wrapped up in her memory of them. With her eyes still closed, she pressed her body against his side and cuddled her head onto his chest. Kate Beckett was not usually the type to cuddle in bed, but it felt right with him. She felt safe.<p>

"Morning," Castle said, his voice still filled with a sleep. Her eyes fluttered open as he leaned down to place a kiss onto her forehead. Turning her head into his chest, she brushed an open mouth kiss against his skin and smiled.

"Good Morning, to you too."

"Did you sleep well?" he wondered.

"Better than I've slept in quite awhile actually. You're bed is amazing." She couldn't help herself from gushing. She was nearly giddy.

"I'm glad it met your standards."

"Far surpassed my standards. Off the charts actually." Her hands glided across his bare chest and her mouth kissed his skin in their wake.

"Are we still talking about the bed?"

"Nope," she laughed. Rolling herself up so that she was straddling him, Kate leaned back down to meet his lips. What started as a simple early morning press of the lips, things intensified as she ran her tongue against his bottom lip; seeking entrance to his mouth. A soft moan escaped as she explored and tasted, as he ran his hands through her hair and down her back.

Regretfully, when she saw the time on his alarm clock, she forced herself to break the kiss, much to his dismay. "Why don't you stay in bed with me?" he asked, his hands traveling lower to try and convince her. Placing a quick kiss onto his lips, she shook her head.

"If you move any further, I may not be able to force myself to go—" she admitted, before pulling herself out of his embrace and laying her head on the pillow. "But I don't think Montgomery would find this an acceptable reason for missing work," she giggled. God, she was giggling. He had her under some sort of trance.

"Montgomery likes me."

"He does, but he won't if you keep one of his detectives from going to work. Plus won't your mom and daughter be coming home soon?"

"You're no fun," he pouted.

"I beg to differ—I believe I showed you last night just how fun I could be."

"You're right. You are fun—very—" he said kissing her shoulder. "—very fun," he agreed, as he continued to kiss down the plains of her skin. Another giggle fell from her mouth when his lips found the ticklish spot that he discovered yesterday.

"Castle, I really have to go," she insisted, gently pushing him off of her. "We can continue this another time. I promise."

"So there _will_ be another time?"

"Oh most _definitely_. Last night was amazing."

"It definitely was. But where does that leave us, Kate?" The question that she knew was lurking in his mind. This was only supposed to be a date, but it escalated to so much more.

"Having fun. No labels—no pressure. But let's agree not to jump into anyone else's bed."

"So we're together and having fun, but you're not my girl—" Castle started to say the word that she was avoiding, so before he could finish, she pushed her lips onto his.

"No labels—no pressure. Not now," she explained, kissing him again before she rolled off of the mattress. Last night was perfect and she knew in the future she could see herself getting serious with him, but right now she didn't want to bring him into her drama. He was her light at the end of the tunnel; she didn't want to mix that with whatever darkness was hidden in her past.

Walking around his room, she gathered the articles of clothing that had been thrown around. She hadn't exactly planned on staying over, but maybe next time she should bring a bag with clean clothes so she didn't have to do the walk of shame. Kate moved into his bathroom to get decent enough to make the trip out to the street to catch a cab home. However, when she walked back out to his room, he was sitting there fully dressed.

"Let me walk you out. I'll have a driver take you home. No need for you to worry about a cab," Castle said, reaching for her. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close.

"Thanks, Castle. Not necessary, but it would make things a bit easier," she said with a smile. He moved his arms from the hug to grab one of her hands, place a light kiss against her palm before entwining their fingers.

"Kate, last night was great. No labels, but just know. I'm here waiting for you until you're completely ready," he admitted and squeezed your hand. "Now let's get you home before you're late for work."

He held onto her hand the entire way down to the lobby and toward the town car. She wasn't one to normally hold onto a boyfriend's hand, but everything about Castle made her feel different. Different was what she needed. They were just them and that was enough for her. She smiled up at him as he opened the door to the back seat and she gave him a very heated goodbye kiss. Suddenly flashes of light were all around, burning her eyes.

What the hell was going on?

"Is this the detective you're following around?" a voice yelled out.

Swarms of paparazzi were surrounding them, screaming and snapping pictures. How had this happened? Castle looked down at her with an expression that was both apologetic and panicked.

"How does it feel to be another notch on Rick Castle's belt?" another shouted at her.

The questions and flashes continued to fly as panic and dread filled her veins.

"I'm so sorry," Castle whispered to her as she jumped into the back seat of the car and before it sped off; leaving him standing there on the street among the mass of reporters.

_**T**__BC_

_Thank you so much for reading!_


	11. Chapter 11

_A/N- The story is all plotted out and everything happens for a reason. Shout out to Craig for guessing part of my reasoning. :)_

_I appreciate every single one of your reviews/follows/favorites. Thank you so much for reading. (Jan and Joanna thanks for all the extra encouragement!)_

_Jo- thank you so much for being an awesome beta. _

_Disclaimer- Castle is not mine, but all the mistakes are._

* * *

><p><strong><em>The More Things Change…<em>**

* * *

><p>…<em>the more they stay the same. Kate Beckett is bored with life, but when a serial killer starts dedicating murders to her- someone enters the scene to aid with the investigation and her life may never be the same. Season 2- AU Caskett meeting.<em>

* * *

><p><span><em><strong>Chapter 11<strong>_

Kate flung the door to her apartment open, stalking in and slamming it shut behind her. The sheer exhaustion of what had just occurred washed over her body and left her crumpled on the ground in shock. Why the hell was the media hanging around outside Castle's place? An author wasn't top tier in the paparazzi food chain, so what were the odds that they had just so happened to be on the street when she was trying to leave unnoticed?

She didn't regret a second of what had happened with Castle. Her body was still buzzing from the memories of last night. But was it too much to ask for it to not be part of the 24 hour news cycle? Her cell phone rang in her purse while her mind was still trying to process what had happened.

"Beckett."

"Kate, I'm so sorry. I have no clue how the press would've known. I have never had people waiting outside for me." His voice was a mixture of frantic and apologetic. The concern she could feel through the phone washed away any indirect irritation she had with him.

"Castle. It's not your fault. I'm not blaming any of this on you. It just doesn't make sense. You're not _that_ famous." If she wasn't so upset by the situation, she may have laughed at her inadvertent joke, but any humor was lost within the madness of the morning.

"Well I do alright. I mean, I end up on page six and people take my picture all the time—it just hasn't been that crazy before."

"Do you think someone tipped them off?" she asked.

"Maybe—but I mean I have women at my place all the time. You're not the first woman I have—I think I'm going to stop talking now."

"I think that would be wise." For being a writer, his word choice sometimes failed him.

"Sorry."

"Hey, I know you're not a virgin. We both have pasts, Castle. I just don't like the idea of my sex life being broadcast across headlines of a newspaper."

"I can call my publicist and have her try to put out any fires this may cause," he suggested. He was trying to fix this for her, she could tell; but he was tripping over his words. Was he nervous that the careful house of cards that they built would suddenly crumble from the added weight of the media attention?

"But is it really such a slow news day that there would be reporters waiting outside your loft?"

"Maybe they just heard from neighbors what a great time we were having last night and wanted to catch a glimpse of the afterglow," he teased. He was rewarded by an unexpected smile forming on her mouth though through the phone it would go unseen.

"Really? That's what you're going with? That we're so amazing together that the media was alerted?"

"Seemed like just as good of an excuse as any."

"You're ridiculous," she laughed.

"Maybe, but it did make you want me a little more."

"You would think that."

"Hey, you were a little vocal during round three—"

"Castle!" Heat flushed over her body. Even talking about last night made her crave more. She should be freaking out about this more than she was, but talking to him had a remarkably calming effect on her panic. Maybe she should just open up to him about things with her family; he could probably help her think straight. They could look into it together.

"You're thinking about it, aren't you," he guessed.

"Among other things. Look Castle—" A knock on the door behind her broke up her train of thoughts.

"Katie, are you in there?" Was that her mom? She never just showed up.

"Yeah, Mom, I am," she answered her through the door. "Castle, I have to call you back."

"Don't worry about it. I'll see you at the precinct with coffee."

"Even better. Bye." She pulled herself off the ground, set her cell phone on the table, and opened the door to find her mother completely disheveled. "Mom! Come in. What's wrong?"

"I'm so happy you're okay." Johanna nearly cried, walking through the door with a large bag in tow. She placed the bag next to the door and quickly shut the door behind her. Johanna's eyes darted around the room and turned back to look through the peephole.

"Yeah, Mom. I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?" she asked, more confused than ever. She walked next to her mom and gently tugged at her arm.

"They're following you, Katie."

"You're not making any sense. How do you know someone is following me?"

"Because I found this under my door last night." Her mom handed her a photo out of her bag, of her date with Castle from the restaurant. They were laughing as they ate their meal. Her gut feeling hadn't been wrong. There was someone watching them there. The thought of someone spying on such a private and cherished moment made her skin crawl.

"Mom, come sit down. Who was following me?" she asked while leading her to the couch.

"That's not the worst part, Hon."

"And the worst part would be?" She flipped over the picture and written in ransom lettering was the phrase: '_Do you know where your daughter is? We do…_'

"So I panicked. I'm sorry." Johanna's voice was near a whisper. Kate could see the fear carved into her features.

"Mom, this is a little strange, but what do you have to be sorry about? I feel like I'm only getting half of the story."

"I called a tip line," she blurted out.

"You did what?"

"From the paper. There's a phone number. If you spot someone—"

"You're the one that notified the press?" Kate asked, trying to keep her voice even but her mind raced at the implication of her mom's statement.

"Yes, but—" Johanna tried to explain, but anger flared in Kate's system and she cut her off.

"How did you know I was still with him? How could you do that?"

"Katie, I didn't know. I hoped you were with him, because I didn't want you to be alone."

"That's no excuse. Do you know what you've done?"

"Listen to me—I figured if the press was on the lookout, well then there would be too many eyes on you guys. There wouldn't be a chance for them to get to you."

"Who is going to get me? Who sent you this picture?"

"The people that killed your father."

Kate's eyes widened. _The people who killed her father_. What the hell was her mom saying?

"What-" she asked before pausing to control her words; her emotions.

"I don't know all the details. I wish I did, but these people are powerful." Johanna paused and started to pace through Kate's living room before she continued her rambling explanation. "They're connected. I stumbled across this while digging into a case all those years ago. I got too close. They sent me an anonymous warning, but I didn't listen. I wanted justice; I wanted the truth. So I kept searching, but then the accident happened. At the time I really thought it was an accident, but then I received a letter. They said it was their warning. Next time it would be you and then me. I couldn't let them hurt you, Katie. So I dropped the investigation, I hid all my research." She walked back over to the bag that she'd brought with her.

The words hit Kate like a ton of bricks. Her father's killer had run free for all these years because her mom wanted to keep her safe. All those years where she could have gotten justice for him. She could have helped her solve it.

"You brought your research?" she asked, motioning to the bag in Johanna's hand.

"I brought you copies. Just in case something happens—to me, to my apartment. I just—"

"Nothing is going to happen to you."

"I just need you to keep this safe. Promise me. Just keep it safe, but you have to stop looking into it. At least for now," she pleaded.

"I'm a cop. I can't just let this go. Not if I know that they're threatening you or me. These people were responsible for Dad's death. We can't just let that go—"

"And I know that. Trust me I know that, but somehow they always know when someone is digging. Something must have tipped them off—"

"I looked in the records room at the precinct," Kate admitted.

"Someone must have seen you."

"I didn't find much, but Mom, after I saw that box at your place. Something didn't add up, so I had to look. But now knowing for sure? I can't just let Dad's killer run free. He deserves justice. How can you be okay with just leaving it alone?"

"Because I can't let them hurt you. That's why I left it for all these years; I was trying to protect you. I didn't get far enough to really have any proof against them, but it was enough to set the ball in motion. After Dad's accident, do you remember that someone broke into the apartment?"

"Yeah and nothing was stolen… except your research, right?"

"That's what they took, but I couldn't tell the police. So they think they have it all, but I had another copy."

"So obviously what the precinct had wasn't that valuable if it was still there."

"There was enough there to show proof of the accident and death, but items were removed from that version. So it was safe to leave as a record, but when someone found out that you were down there—"

"I set the ball in motion again."

"Yes."

"Mom, I can take care of myself. We can solve this, but I'm worried about you."

"Katie, I'm fine and we'll solve this; you and me—just not today. We need to let them think we're dropping it. I don't even know if they're still watching you."

"Castle—" She couldn't let him get hurt because of her history.

"I wouldn't put it past these people to go after him, but he's a little more high profile. So maybe they will leave him alone—"

"If we stop," she said, trying to finish her mom's sentence.

"For now. Not forever. You just can't tell anyone. Even if you think you can trust them, no one else can know. It's safer for everyone."

Keeping everyone safe, by lying to him about the most important thing in her life. Her mind was completely jumbled. Her mind was at war with her heart yet again. Last night set the dominoes to fall, one by one. She needed Castle in her life and she didn't know how long she could just keep him at arm's length. Especially by keeping something from him that could potentially put him in danger.

"Mom—"

"Just promise. Just stop for now," Johanna insisted. She pulled Kate into a hug and held her close. Picking between a budding relationship and her family, it wasn't a choice she wanted to make, but she had to respect her mom for now.

"Not forever," Kate promised.

* * *

><p>The day at the precinct was busy with a new case so she barely had any time to think about her mom's conversation. She tried to push it all out of her mind to keep a certain degree of normalcy. Men's skin care guru, Damien Wilder, had been found murdered in his apartment. Castle seemed to be a little more distraught than normal about this particular victim; he was apparently a fan of his shaving cream.<p>

Walking into her apartment at the end of the day, Kate laughed to herself. She was learning something new about him every day and today was the discovery of his attachment to high end men's skin care.

It was nice that there was no awkwardness between them at work and no one seemed to have noticed the change between them. Ryan continued to hang on every word Castle said while Espo looked at him like he was an alien half the time. Everything had been normal. All the media attention she'd been confronted with at work was about Wilder's murder and there didn't seem to be any indication of Kate's morning activities leaving Castle's loft.

Lost in thought now that she was home at last, Kate kicked her shoes off and aimlessly walked over to grab a bottle of water from the fridge. Taking a small sip, she felt the weight of the day suddenly hit her. The silence of her apartment burst the bubble that she had tried to hide in all day long.

Her father was murdered. It wasn't an accident.

Someone was watching her. Someone was watching her mom; possibly watching Castle.

Castle. Things were developing at a rapid pace with him even though she had initially wanted to keep it simple. Keep it uncomplicated, but now there were pictures of them. Pictures that could be used against them.

She took a deep breath and ran her hands through her hair. Maybe a bath would be exactly what she needed? Walking toward the bathroom, she was interrupted by someone knocking at the front door. She padded across the room in her socked feet to the entryway and leaned over to the peephole to see Castle in the hallway.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" she asked, while opening the door.

"Figured I'd surprise you."

"We were together all day, Castle."

"Yeah, but we were working a case, so I couldn't do this—" he explained as he leaned down to steal a kiss from her lips. This was definitely toeing the line past casual. When the kiss broke, she looked up at him with a shy smile.

"I guess that's a pretty good reason for stopping by," she said with a small laugh, opening the door further for him.

"So I talked to Paula today." He pulled her with him to the couch and she shook her head at him. The way he was with her, always touching her now—she shouldn't like it. But she did.

"And who is Paula again?"

"My publicist."

"Ah yes. Okay."

"Paula said she'll try to keep the pictures out of the paper, but—"

"Well that's good—wait, but?"

"She doesn't know if they'll go for it. She thinks the idea of me and you - writer and muse—the idea may be too scandalous to avoid." He looked at her with a wince and dropped the hand that he was holding.

"It's not your fault."

"Kate, I'm sorry. If I would've known—"

"I know Castle, but I'm honestly not blaming you." She tried to reassure him, because she couldn't be mad at him. This was her mom's doing, not his.

"I don't want this to ruin—this," he sighed, running his hand down her arm. "I know we aren't official and we've only had one date. This is so new."

"And I want to keep it between us," she finished his train of thought.

"If it comes out in the paper..."

"Then it's out and I look like a Richard Castle groupie," Kate stated while closing her eyes. "But it's not your fault. I chose to stay at your place, Castle."

"Yeah, but you didn't want that fact printed in the paper."

"No." She took a deep breath and released the puff of air from her lungs.

"Will Montgomery kick me out of the precinct?"

"Oh God. I didn't even think of work or the boys!" Her head fell into her hands. This was a mess.

"I'm so sorry."

"Castle, please stop apologizing." It was only making her feel worse. The weight he was carrying around wasn't his to carry and she couldn't explain to him why it wasn't his fault.

"Paula is doing everything she can. She's doing damage control even though she doesn't want to."

"Doesn't want to?"

"She thinks that it would be great press for the new book. 'Real life merging with the page', she said," he explained with air quotes.

"Let's just hope it doesn't come to that. Maybe another politician will be caught with his pants down."

"Fingers crossed," he laughed, turning to place a kiss into her hair. She looked up at him with a hesitant smile. Just having him next to her, it felt right. She moved her body so she was leaning onto his chest and he pulled her even closer. She would keep him safe. Keep them safe. Keep this safe. Her mind wandered to the evidence that lay hidden in the back of her closet. The evidence she had promised not to touch until the smoke cleared. She had promised her mom, but it was more than just for her. It was also for him. To keep him safe.

"Fingers crossed," she agreed, words meaning so much more than he knew.

_**TBC**_

_Thank you so much for reading! I would love to know what you think!_


	12. Chapter 12

_A/N- I'm posting this chapter slightly ahead of schedule but I'm assuming there will be plenty of post-ep fics after Monday to keep everyone busy :)_

_Thank you to everyone that is reading this story. I'm blown away and you don't know how much it means to me! (Special shout out to J&J my constant cheerleaders)_

_Jo- you're the best. Thank you for not giving up on me._

_Disclaimer- Castle (and the two lines of borrowed dialogue) are not mine, but all the mistakes are._

* * *

><p><strong><em>The More Things Change…<em>**

* * *

><p>…<em>the more they stay the same. Kate Beckett is bored with life, but when a serial killer starts dedicating murders to her- someone enters the scene to aid with the investigation and her life may never be the same. Season 2- AU Caskett meeting.<em>

* * *

><p><span><em><strong>Chapter 12<strong>_

Taking the elevator up to the homicide floor the next day, Kate jumped, startled as her phone notified her of a text message.

'_My office. NOW'_

Montgomery wasn't usually the one to send her direct messages, so she cringed at the meaning behind the words. The doors opened and she made a bee-line to his office.

"Captain?" Kate asked, knocking on the door frame to his office.

"Detective, come in. Close the door please." After shutting the door, she walked over and sat down in the chair. Her eyes fixed on the multiple newspapers on his desk. Shit.

"What's this about?" Her voice wasn't as confident as she wanted it to sound. She knew what this was, but she didn't know how bad it was yet.

"A sergeant from robbery called these little gems to my attention today. Imagine my surprise when I open up the paper to find my lead detective's picture plastered all over the gossip pages."

"Sir—"

"Making out with Richard Castle!" he hissed

"Captain. I'm sure it's not what it looks like," she stated, not sure how she could deny the photographic proof. Montgomery handed her the folded pages. Two huge images of her and Castle in a heated embrace stared back at her. One picture actually showed the kiss while the other was right before their lips met. Staring at the paper, she knew she should be embarrassed and angry, but she was momentarily in awe of the pictures. They both looked happy and in lo—

No! This picture was in a newspaper for the world to see. This wasn't good.

"Beckett, what you do on your own time is your own business. I've never known you to be irresponsible mixing work and personal issues, and I don't expect that to be an issue now."

"No sir."

"He seems good for you, Beckett. You seem to be having fun, but if this effects any of your work…"

"It won't. There's nothing to worry about."

"There better not be," he stated, before changing his tone. "Now how are things coming with the Wilder case?"

"We've got a couple leads and we've got the time of death window narrowed," she said.

"When robbery brought the newspaper up, they wanted to make sure we didn't need any help for the theft component of the case."

"That's a minor part of the case. I think we can do it without a consult from robbery."

"Okay. Sergeant McClain said he knew that Detective Demming would be willing to assist if needed."

"Sir, no offense to Sergeant McClain, but my team can manage just fine without Robbery's help. If we're done here, I'd like to get back to my investigation," Kate insisted.

"Yes, yes. We're done. Just remember what I said Beckett. This doesn't affect your work."

"It won't, Sir. Thank you." She held tight onto the newspaper as she walked out of the Captain's office, but when she entered the bullpen all eyes were staring in her direction. Anger and embarrassment flared onto her cheeks, but she refused to acknowledge the looks. Flinging the drawer to her desk open, she shoved the newspapers inside and slammed it shut. Esposito and Ryan walked in her direction; both obviously ready to crack a joke until they saw her glare up at them.

"Don't even start."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Espo said with a smirk.

"I'm not in the mood guys."

"You're not in the mood? So Castle wasn't there for you this morning?"

"Ryan!" she hissed at his question.

"I wasn't where?" Castle asked, walking up to sit next to her desk, apparently catching the tail end of Ryan's question.

"Just asking if you took care of Beckett this morning. She seems a little cranky," Ryan laughed as Espo gave him a high-five.

"So glad that everyone can be adults about this," she called over to the boys as they walked back to their desks.

"Beckett?" Castle looked over at her with a confused look on his face.

"I take it that you didn't see the newspaper this morning?"

"No, I had a call from Paula, but I didn't listen to the voicemail. Just came straight here to bring you this," he said, smiling as he handed her the mug of coffee.

"Perhaps you should've listened to her message," she whispered in his direction.

"Everyone is looking at us," Castle replied. How had he just noticed this? Wasn't he supposed to be good at observing the situation? Instead he was sitting here stating the obvious.

"Yes, Castle. Everyone is staring at us, and perhaps you should fire your publicist."

"They published the pictures?" he concluded.

"Yep."

"How bad?"

"The pictures themselves aren't bad—"

"We look good?"

"Castle, that's not the point. I've already been called into Montgomery's office," she hissed.

"Kate, I'm sorry. How mad is he?"

"He's not exactly mad, but he said if it affected my work you'd be gone."

"Why would it affect anything, Beckett?"

"Look around," she said. His eyes darted around to see the smirks and stares of Kate's colleagues. "Castle, I'm the laughing stock of the precinct."

"Can I see the paper? What does it say?" Oh God. She had been so zoned in on the pictures that she hadn't even paid attention to the headline or article that was attached. Pulling the drawer back open, her heart sank when she finally read the headline staring up at her.

'_**Sexy Detective's Walk of Shame'**_

'_**Castle's Muse for the Page and the Bedroom'**_

"Castle's latest flavor of the week just so happens to be none other than Detective Kate Beckett, whom the writer is following around for his latest novel. Apparently Mr. Castle is finding inspiration in the bedroom as well. Word on the street says that the Detective was seen wearing last night's dress while leaving the writer's home in the early morning hours," she read to Castle in a hushed tone.

The words from the blurb were getting caught in her throat. She had never been so embarrassed in her entire life but she was trying her best not to freak out in the middle of the homicide floor.

"Kate—"

"People need to stop looking at us," she continued to whisper. Her eyes had remained downcast since Castle sat down next to her, but she could feel the stares of the other cops burning into her skin.

"There's nothing to see here," Castle announced to the onlookers, which in turn caused her to try and crawl into herself. What the hell was he doing?

"Castle!" she hissed. "Not helping!" She hid her head in her hands as a couple more people whistled and laughed as they walked by the pair. Sure, these people were her co-workers, but the precinct was already such a gossip mill, and now they had real live page six gossip sitting in the middle of the floor on public display. This was too much for her. "I've got to get out of here."

Continuing to avoid the glares from around the room, she hurried toward the elevator with Castle hot on her heels.

"Beckett."

"Please Castle. No talking right now," she snapped over her shoulder. She could swear she heard someone behind them say _'Going to have a quickie, Beckett?'_ but she couldn't bring herself to try and find the source of the statement. As the elevator doors closed with her and Castle inside, she could hear Montgomery yell at the floor to get back to work. It was a little late for that.

* * *

><p>Kate practically sprinted out of the building, trying to get as much distance from herself and the ridicule of the rest of the precinct as she could. By the time Castle caught up, she was bent over, leaning against a building halfway down the block.<p>

"Kate. I just wanted to help."

"Please," she gasped, nearly hyperventilating. "I know you mean well. I know this isn't your fault."

"Tell me what I can do. Tell me how I can fix this. I want to fix this for you."

"Castle, I don't know how you can fix this. I'm not ashamed of what happened between us. I don't regret it, but it's so violating to have it broadcast in the news. How do you deal with this?"

"I'm used to it. It comes with the territory of being known. I don't like the lack of privacy, but Paula usually spins it to be beneficial for sales."

"I'm a cop. I try to avoid getting my name in the papers. It doesn't help if I try and do an undercover assignment; I don't want people to recognize me."

"We really do have very different lives," he said.

"You're just now realizing this?" she snapped.

"No, of course not. I just sometimes forget until moments like this smack me in the face," he admitted, reaching out to touch her arm, but he stopped before actually making contact. She could tell he was scared to show any sort of affection toward her in public.

"This is awful."

"You can say that again. Maybe we should get out of the street. I don't want there to be another idiot with a camera to make this worse."

"Good point," she said with a nod, pulling herself off of the ground. They were heading to her car when Castle's cell phone rang.

"It's Paula."

"Well answer it," she said, rolling her eyes. She would've thought that dealing with his publicist would've been an obvious solution.

"_Hey Paula. Yeah, I saw. I thought you had it handled. I see. Is that what she said? I don't think that's necessary. Uh huh. I'll think about it. I'll let you know. Bye."_ Only hearing one side of the conversation left her confused and feeling a little guilty. She tried to tune it out, but knowing that she could have a fix to the issue; her curiosity got the best of her.

They were standing next to her car by the time he started talking again. "She wants me to go to the Hamptons."

"What? Why?" she asked in shock.

"She said she tried everything to get them to prevent the story from running, but now that it's out there—she's been contacted by a couple other gossip rags. Apparently this is quite the story," he explained.

"But there isn't anything to tell."

"No, but if anyone sees us together they'll probably just make up a headline to go with another picture. Make something scandalous out of something completely innocent."

"So, she wants you to leave?"

"No, she doesn't care about the headlines. She thinks it will be great for sales, but she knows I want to keep you out of the press. So my publisher actually suggested that I go to the Hamptons to finish the book."

"The Hamptons," Kate repeated, leaning against her cruiser. "For how long?"

"The summer or until things cool down. She suggested I try to leave today. Next week will be crazy with all the holiday traffic."

"Today?" she asked in disbelief. Silence fell between them, but then realized it was the perfect plan. Castle would be away from the city; away from the people following her around. "You should. It's for the best."

"Beckett." His voice was full of concern and his expression looked hurt.

"Castle, it's already nine. You should go home and get packed." She wasn't pushing him away, but she needed to encourage him to go to keep him safe.

"I'm not saying goodbye to you like this. I'm not sure this is a good idea." He tried to reach out for her again, but dropped his hand. She could see him clench his hand together in irritation.

"Your publicist and your publisher suggested it. It's obviously a good idea, Castle." She met his eyes and gave him a small smile. His shoulders deflated while he stared down at his feet. Kate could feel his hesitation in the air between them before he took a deep breath.

"Fine. You're probably right, but will you come by later? The parking garage is secure. You can help me load the car and say goodbye."

"Okay. I'll be there."

"Are you sure you don't need me today?" he asked, almost like he was trying anything to stay with her longer.

"I'll manage. I need to get used to you not being here," she teased, though her heart was not into the joke because the truth was glaring behind her words.

"I'll see you tonight, Kate." His eyes scanned the garage before he laid his hand on her arm and gave it a squeeze. She could hear the apology in his tone. He still felt the weight of blame on his shoulders.

* * *

><p>As promised, she met him at his loft to say goodbye.<p>

He grabbed her hand as they walked out to the parking garage attached to his building. Kate was surprised when he initially said he was driving up himself, but he said the long drive would provide him time alone with his thoughts. Throwing his bag into the trunk and slamming it shut, he turned back to her with a hesitant look on his face.

"I'm so sorry about all of this, Beckett."

"Castle don't. I promise you this isn't your fault. I promise you I'm not blaming you." The look on his face confirmed her suspicion that he didn't believe a word she said. He was beating himself up for the whole media fiasco. She wanted to tell him everything. Tell him about her dad; tell him about the people who were watching her, but she had promised her mom. She'd promised that she wouldn't bring anyone else into it, that she wouldn't put anyone else at risk. Encouraging Castle to go to the Hamptons seemed like the best way to keep him safe and keep her promise.

"I don't want to go if this will hurt anything between us."

"Hey—no, don't say that. You're still you and I'm still me. The writers on page six—they don't know what they're talking about. But Paula is right about staying out of the public eye together, right now. Hopefully it will help cool things down," she explained, keeping her voice full of conviction.

"This feels like I'm running away. Feels like I'm hiding from you and me. I'm not ashamed of us."

"No—I know, but you're not hiding. You're working on your book. Getting some space."

"I really care about you; more than I should at this point," he said, reaching out to pull her into his arms. Her resolve was starting to crumble. She really didn't want to see him go.

"I care about you too, Castle, but I think you taking a couple weeks? It's for the best. Maybe it doesn't have to be the whole summer?" When the question fell from her lips, she knew it was a bad idea. He needed to stay safe in the Hamptons for a while and now she was already suggesting that the trip didn't need to be so long. He squeezed her tighter and placed a soft kiss into her hair before he pulled back.

"I know you don't want anything between us to be anything more than fun. And I promised not to push, but Kate, you can't deny what we have is so much more than just fun. It feels like something real." She gasped at his words. It did feel like something real, but it really couldn't be. Not yet.

"Castle—"

"Just think about it, okay?"

"Rick—"

"You could come up to the Hamptons for Memorial Day. We can spend the weekend on the beach or by the pool. My mom and Alexis will be there too. It's a great kick off to summer," he said.

"Wow, Caste. You're working really hard to see me in a swimsuit."

"If you are not comfortable in a swimsuit, you can just skinny dip," he replied with a smirk. She lightly smacked his chest and rolled her eyes with a laugh. He continued to smile as he brought his hand to her chin, nudging it up so she was looking into his eyes. "All jokes aside…"

"I'll think about it."

"The weekend or—"

"Both. I'll think about both, Castle." She leaned up and placed a chaste kiss on his lips. Breaking the contact after a moment, she allowed herself to be wrapped up in his arms again and sighed while resting her head into his chest. "I'll miss you following me around."

"I'm not gone forever. Just a couple weeks, until this all blows over. But for what it's worth, I'll miss you too," he stated, turning to kiss her forehead.

"Promise you'll be safe?" she whispered.

"Kate, it's the Hamptons." He didn't know. He seemed confused by her worry, but she couldn't explain and it was killing her inside. He would be safe in the Hamptons and she'll find the people responsible by herself. She would find them so it will be safe for him to actually be with her. She closed her eyes for a moment to find her center.

"Just promise?"

"I promise. And you'll promise to think about it?" he asked, pulling back from their embrace. He moved to get into the driver's seat of his car, leaving her standing there without the warmth of his body.

"I'll think about it," she promised with a smile. Her smile quickly faded as she watched the man she was falling in love with drive off. Nothing about this was fun.

_**TBC**_

_Thank you so much for reading this! I would love to know what you think! Thanks again :)_


	13. Chapter 13

_A/N- Thanks to everyone who has embraced this story so much. It means the world to me. (J&J - thanks to my personal cheerleaders)_

_Jo- thank you for all your magical beta voodoo talent :)_

_Disclaimer- Castle is not mine, but all the mistakes are._

* * *

><p><strong><em>The More Things Change…<em>**

* * *

><p>…<em>the more they stay the same. Kate Beckett is bored with life, but when a serial killer starts dedicating murders to her- someone enters the scene to aid with the investigation and her life may never be the same. Season 2- AU Caskett meeting.<em>

* * *

><p><span><em><strong>Chapter 13<strong>_

She cried herself to sleep that night.

She had sent him away—for his own good, but it didn't mean it didn't hurt like hell. Sure, it hadn't been her idea for him to go, but the paparazzi scandal had created the opportunity for him to leave town on Paula's suggestion. Now that Castle was out of the area, if something happened to her or if someone came for her, at least he wouldn't have to be in the crosshairs of her family drama.

Kate woke up in the middle of the night with her eyes still red and puffy. The silence of her apartment left her feeling haunted, rather than peaceful. Wiping her hand across her cheek, she could feel the invisible path left by her dried up tears. This was exactly why she didn't want to get too close. Her heart was locked behind a wall of her own creation, but without her fully recognizing it, he had completely knocked it down. Knocked it down, but now she was left to pick up the pieces without him here.

He wasn't leaving her forever and he had even extended an invitation for her to stay with him for the holiday weekend. The problem was that she was at war with herself over it. Her desire to be near him was overpowering, but would she be putting him at risk by spending the weekend with him?

Tossing and turning for what seemed like hours, she finally flung her covers off of her body and rolled out of the bed. A shiver ran down her spine as her skin finally registered the cool night air; leggings and a tank top didn't provide much warmth outside of her blankets. She padded off to her dresser to rummage through it and find the first article of clothing to throw on to provide her with actual warmth. It took her a second in her sleep deprived haze to realize that she had thrown on her dad's old college sweatshirt.

Just what she needed, a reminder of what she had lost and why she needed to keep Castle safe. Brushing the sleep from her eyes, she found herself wandering into her closet. Almost like gravity or a moth to a flame, she was drawn to the paperwork on the case. If she was supposed to keep the information safe, she probably should find a better spot to keep things.

The bottom of her closet wasn't the most secure of places to hold the secrets behind her father's accident; she should move the paperwork into her floor safe where she kept her spare piece and a couple other important documents. It might be a tight fit, but it would be better than just leaving the copies lying around next to her shoe collection.

Gathering the papers into her arm, she flipped a light on and stepped into her living room and moved the rug that covered the floor boards hiding the safe. Carefully placing the files into the metal box, she couldn't prevent the curiosity from sparking within her.

"I promised to not investigate. I didn't promise I wouldn't look at it," she whispered to herself as she pulled the files back up from the floor and flipped open the first folder.

Four hours later and two pots of coffee, she was finally starting to understand the true danger that lay within the evidence. The danger wouldn't go away by just pretending it didn't exist. She loved her mom, but when it came to this case she didn't have the best track record as far as judgment went. Castle was out of town. There was no better time than now to look into this.

* * *

><p>An insistent ringing woke her up.<p>

Her sleep heavy mind took a minute to recognize the noise as the ringer from her cell phone. Groaning to herself, she opened her eyes to her surrounding and realized she had fallen asleep amongst the case files again. Since the day Castle had left for the Hamptons Kate had lived and breathed all the details of this investigation.

Yesterday, Montgomery had sent her home and told her that she wasn't allowed back at work until after the Memorial Day holiday. She needed to get her head back into the game. Between the random photographers still harassing her and her mind drifting to her dad's accident file, she wasn't as focused as she should be on her real homicide investigations. As much as she hated Montgomery for forcing her to go home, she had to admit he was right.

She removed the paper that was stuck to the side of her face, most likely from a combination of sweat and drool. When was the last time she showered?

Finally looking down at her phone, she identified the offending caller.

Castle

"Hey," she answered, still sounding half asleep.

"Kate?" She tried to suppress the yawn from escaping her lips but it was a lost cause. "Did I wake you up?"

"Maybe…" she hesitated.

"It's noon."

"Noon!" Her body shot off the ground and she stared at her clock in her kitchen. "Shit! How the hell?"

"Kate? Is everything okay?"

"Yeah. Yeah, Castle, I'm fine." She switched the phone to speaker and set it down on the floor so she could pick up the files spread across the ground. "Is there something you needed?" She could hear him take a sharp intake of air.

"We haven't talked since I left a couple days ago. I just—"

"It's been a couple days already?" she asked, not meaning to say it out loud.

"Yeah, it has. You haven't missed me that much, I take it," he joked, but she could hear the hurt in his voice. The fact that he was in the Hamptons was supposed to be a good thing, but a simple phone call was sabotaging things. "I wanted to see if you gave anymore thought to coming to the Hamptons."

"Castle—" She couldn't do this right now.

"Listen, just hear me out. I just found out that Alexis got accepted into a program at Princeton this summer so she won't be coming. And my mother is now working on a summer production, so it will just be me. All alone with my thoughts."

"Alone with your thoughts? That sounds terrifying," she laughed. The sound was foreign to her ears over the last couple days.

"Oh believe me it is. Think of all the writing I could accomplish. Please save me," he pleaded.

"I would hate to be the reason you didn't get the book done, Castle."

"You wouldn't be. Who knows, I could even finish it faster with your help. I find you _very_ inspiring," he husked into the phone.

"Castle—yeah," she said, lost in thought. What she wouldn't give to be with him right now, but at the moment she was literally picking up the pieces of her life. Placing papers all back into their files, she stacked them neatly into the safe and locked it tight. Rubbing her hands down her face, she released the breath she was holding. "Rick—"

"So you'll come?"

"I can't."

"You can't?" Hurt laced itself into his question and tone.

"No, I have to work." The white lie fell from her lips before she could stop it. It was for the best if she stayed away from him right now. She was in a rabbit hole of her own creation and she shouldn't bring him down with her.

"You have to work on a holiday weekend?"

"Yeah. Some of us have to work for a living," she snapped. As she registered how harsh her tone was, she winced.

"Kate, I didn't mean—"

"No, I'm sorry for snapping. I've just had a lot on my mind the last couple days."

"Are people still following you around?" His question made her heart sink.

"Wait, what? Castle, how do you know about that?" she asked, in panic. Her voice was almost yelling into the phone.

"How do I—Beckett? The photographers? The reason I'm in the Hamptons?"

There was paranoia coursing through her veins. She needed to stop before this got any worse. "Right, right. I've seen a couple. Nothing intrusive," she stammered, trying to cover up her confusion.

"Are you alright? You seem distracted. I can call back later."

"Yeah, later," she whispered, not completely paying attention. "I'll call you. 'Kay?"

"Kate?" She could hear the question in his tone.

"I'm fine. Hopefully you can get some writing done. I'll talk to you later, Castle."

She disconnected the call before he could question her any further. Looking around her apartment, she took inventory of the mess her place had become. This case allowed her to lose herself for days without realizing it. Sighing to herself, she grabbed her phone, scrolling through her contacts before hovering over the call button.

She needed help.

* * *

><p>An hour later, she found her mom pacing near a bench in Central Park.<p>

"Hey Mom," she said, as she sat down on the bench. Their bench. The place where they would sit and talk for hours as they people watched on Sunday mornings. Now, everything seemed different.

"Katie, you sounded frantic on the phone. What's going on? Did you see someone?" Johanna questioned, her eyes flaring with fear. She sat down next to Kate and moved close. "No. I haven't noticed anyone. I just—"

"What is it?" Her mom had a blank expression on her face. Either she truly was as clueless as she seemed at this moment, or she had an incredibly valuable poker face.

"Why did you lie?"

"Why did I lie?"

"Yes. I know what you said. I know you said you were trying to keep me safe, but—I'm a cop. I can solve this."

"Of course I did this to keep you safe. I would do anything to keep you safe. I love you!" Johanna emphasized and squeezed Kate's arm. "And I know you're a cop, but you have no idea what we're up against."

"I looked into the file. I know."

"You looked?"

"Did you honestly think that I wouldn't? That I would just leave it be with the evidence sitting in my apartment?"

"Katie, keep your voice down," she hissed. "We have no clue if people are listening."

"And so what if they are listening? We need to end this once and for all."

"You don't know what you're saying. They'll come for you."

"Then let them come. I'm ready."

"What are you ready for Katie? This isn't a war. They'll kill you if you look any further. Hell they'll kill both of us if they knew there was any chance that they'd be exposed. They're powerful people."

"Mom, I told you. I know. I read the file. Basically have it memorized."

"Then if you looked so far into this—you know that what we have is all circumstantial. Someone on the force cleaned up all the actual records. There was a dirty cop involved, but we don't know who. So what we're left with is scraps. Little clues, but not enough to convict. Just enough to raise suspicion and get us killed in the process."

"How can you say that? How is it that you seem okay with just leaving it alone? Letting Dad's killer roam free…"

"I'm not okay with it! It makes me sick every time I think about it, but Katie, there's more to life than dying for your cause. There's a beautiful world away from the conspiracies and murder. I mean, look at you. It looks like you haven't slept in days."

"I've been holed up in my apartment. The press was having a field day, no thanks to you," she said, causing Johanna to wince.

"It was to keep you safe. Means to an end."

"Well, you wanted to know why I look like hell. There's your answer."

"So as punishment to me while you were on house arrest, you did the one thing you promised me you wouldn't do. You started investigating?" Johanna asked. Her expression confirmed Kate's fear; her mom was disappointed, as usual.

"You didn't just ask me one thing. You also made me promise that I wouldn't tell anyone. So because of that, I pushed him away!" Her voice raised a couple decimals, alerting the passersby to their conversation.

"Who? Rick?"

"Yes, Rick. The one person that could ground me. The one person that I'm starting to fall for. I pushed him away based on a theory of yours to keep me safe," she cried out.

"It's for the best."

"No, it's not for the best. Look at me! Nothing about this is okay. I can't be okay with just giving up on finding his killer, but I also can't push the man that I care about away. Not anymore."

"Katie, where are you going?"

"We're obviously not going to agree on this right now, but I need to go. I need to think."

Storming away from the park, she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket.

'_In case you change your mind'_

Castle had texted his Hampton's address.

* * *

><p>Kate started to drive.<p>

At first she wasn't going in a particular direction. She wasn't going to the Hampton's. She wasn't.

Yet, before she had completely registered where she was driving to, she was pulling into the driveway of Castle's summer getaway.

Wow. So this was how the other half lived.

God, who was she kidding? Why was she fooling herself into thinking she belonged with him? That she could have a relationship with him?

She sat in her car, staring up at the mansion as her heart pounded out of her chest. After quick intake of air and a brush of her hand through her hair, she swallowed down any lingering hesitation she might have had. He had invited her.

Castle wanted her there and that was all the reasoning she needed. Because she needed him in her life. It was selfish but it was necessary at this point. She shouldn't be this nervous. So nervous that she was trying to gather all the courage she could to move out of the car. He had invited her.

Standing on his front steps, she took a deep breath and rang the doorbell. Moments later, the door opened to reveal a beautiful blonde standing in front of her. Did she have the wrong house? She was about to apologize for her mistake when—

"Richard! You have a visitor," the blonde called over her shoulder, into the house. She was at the right place. This what she got for surprising him? Dammit, she was so stupid to believe him. Her mouth opened to apologize to the woman, but the words caught on her lips.

"Kate? You came!" Castle's voice rang through her thoughts and she couldn't help but hear the excitement in his words. It didn't make any sense.

"I'm going to get going," the blonde said, pecking Castle on the cheek.

"Have a safe drive back to the city."

The woman walked out the door after saying her goodbyes to Castle, but she moved right past Kate with nothing more than a smile and a wave. She wasn't in the mood to even try for an introduction either, so her lack of attempt didn't even faze her.

"Are you going to come in? My front porch is great and all, but the inside of the house is better," he said with a smirk.

Stepping into the foyer, she looked over at his confused expression and the tears she didn't realize she was holding back, finally broke free. "I'm so sorry, Castle. I'm so sorry."

"Beckett—Kate, what are you apologizing for. You're not making any sense," he said while pulling her sobbing body into his arms.

"My life is a mess. I shouldn't have come here. You were obviously having a nice time and I interrupted," she stammered, trying to move out of his arms.

"What are you—Gina? No, no. Gina's my ex-wife. Who also happens to be my publisher." The honesty in his eyes was undeniable, and with his explanation, the brick in his stomach dissipated. He didn't ask someone else up here after she initially declined.

"Your publisher?"

"Yes, publisher. She was in the neighborhood, and so took the opportunity to harass me about the book." He grinned. "Harassed is my word, not hers. She says she was picking up the latest chapter and 'checking up on the status of the book'. She can get a little high maintenance, but she's an excellent publisher."

"So I didn't interrupt a date?"

"Date? With Gina? God no! She showed up a couple hours ago. She was about to leave when you knocked on the door." He pressed a kiss into her hair and squeezed her a little tighter. "You didn't interrupt anything, but I'm surprised you came."

"I messed up. I lied," she whispered into his chest.

"You lied?"

"I didn't have to work. I was trying to—you don't know what a mess my life is."

"But you're here now. Kate, talk to me. You're not making any sense." Pulling away from his hold, she looked up into his eyes and the decision was clear.

"It's about my dad."

* * *

><p><em><strong>TBC<strong>_

_Thank you for reading! I would love to know what you think :)_


	14. Chapter 14

_A/N- Thanks for all the comments, criticism and love for this story. It's truly awe inspiring! (J&J - thanks to my personal cheerleaders)_

_Jo- your beta help with this has been incredible. Thank you so much!_

_Disclaimer- Castle is not mine, but all the mistakes are._

* * *

><p><strong><em>The More Things Change…<em>**

* * *

><p>…<em>the more they stay the same. Kate Beckett is bored with life, but when a serial killer starts dedicating murders to her- someone enters the scene to aid with the investigation and her life may never be the same. Season 2- AU Caskett meeting.<em>

* * *

><p><span><em><strong>Chapter 14<strong>_

"_But you're here now. Kate, talk to me. You're not making any sense." Pulling away from his hold, she looked up into his eyes and the decision was clear. _

"_It's about my dad."_

* * *

><p>He pulled her farther into the house, leading her toward a couch in what appeared to be a living room. There was a slight hesitation in his actions, like he was afraid that she would break at any moment.<p>

"Kate—I thought," he stuttered, almost at a loss for words. "I thought your father was—"

"He is, Castle. My dad died in a car accident, only it wasn't an accident." She took a deep breath as she sat down on the overstuffed sofa. Thoughts were swirling around in her head, the overwhelming anxiety leaving her feeling faint. She could do this. She could trust him.

"Wait, what?" His voice was calm, but she could hear the concern laced in his words and his expression. He seemed so unsure of himself as he sat down next to her, yet he had the keen ability to read her like no one else could, and the ability to know what she needed. He ran his hand along her leg with an encouraging squeeze.

"My father was murdered…" She kept her voice strong and sure, but then she didn't know what else to say. How did you follow up a statement like that? What words could ever be an adequate companion to her confession of such a life defining moment?

"Are you sure? When did you—"

"All these years, I had always thought it was an accident, but then…" Her voice broke, the strength in her words faltering. It was one thing to know the fact, but to explain it to him—it made it more real. Tears filled her eyes, clouding her vision, but she kept her composure.

"Hey, hey. Kate, you can tell me."

"My mom was holding onto evidence that could prove that the accident was intentional." As she spoke, she looked at her hands and straightened her clothing. If she looked at him, if she met his eyes, she would lose it.

"Why was she holding it? I don't understand."

"I'm still trying to piece everything together, but basically she got involved with investigating a case. She stumbled upon something that she shouldn't have and the people involved warned her to stop." Kate paused for a moment and swallowed down the lump in her throat. "When she didn't listen, they went after my dad and told her if she continued that they would go after us as well. So she stopped."

"Beckett, who are these people?"

"I'm trying to find the answers, Castle. I don't have them all yet, but I will."

"You're looking into this? By yourself? I don't know if—Kate, these people sound dangerous."

"I'm fine," she claimed, her voice rising in volume. She cared about Castle, but he didn't get to decide how she lived her life. It was _her_ life.

"If they went after your dad, what makes you think they won't kill you if you get too close?"

"I can't let these people get away with this, Castle. I need to find the truth. But I'm telling you because I can't keep lying to you about it."

"Beckett—"

"Just let me get this out, okay? I should've told you. I pushed you away because I don't want you to get hurt because of me." His head shot up with her words, like he was having an epiphany.

"That's why you didn't have a problem with me coming up here? You thought you were protecting me? Kate, I don't need—"

"People were following me, Castle. They were watching us while we were on our date." She met his stare, willing him to understand where she was coming from.

"The paparazzi, Kate. I already knew that obviously." She shook her head, he didn't understand. Reaching over, she threaded her fingers with his, rubbing her thumb on the top of his hand.

"No, Castle. Not the paparazzi. The people involved with my dad's death. They were watching us at dinner and left proof of it at my mom's apartment. So she called them…"

"She's the one who called the paparazzi?" His jaw dropped for a second, but he seemed to school his features quickly.

"Yes. She figured that if the gossip rags were watching, then whoever else was following us around couldn't get us."

"Kate, how the hell do you know they aren't still following you?" he asked as the decibels in his voice rose.

She pushed herself off of the sofa and rubbed her hands over her face. The room, so spacious when they'd walked in, was starting to close in on her. He was right. They could still be following her. They could be standing outside the house right now. Panic coursed through her body as she paced across the room.

"I don't, but—I was being selfish, coming here. I wanted to stop living in a 'what if' scenario. I wanted to tell you the truth, but I don't want you to get hurt because of me." Kate looked over at him, tears rolling down her cheeks. "God, I don't want you to get hurt because of me," she repeated, slowing down her steps.

"I'm not going to lie to you, Beckett. I'm a little irritated by the fact that you didn't feel like you could trust me. We've slept together for Christ's sake. But—"

"I told you I'm not good at this. I'm horrible at being in a relationship. I've let you into my life more than I have with anyone else—but it scares me to death." She was rambling, words falling from her lips before she could fully deal with the implication.

He looked at her with a laugh and a scoff. "You think I'm good at this? I have two failed marriages. It's not like I'm great at relationships either. But you need to know you can trust me. With _anything_."

"I know. I know I can and that's why I came here. I couldn't tell you over the phone and I didn't—and I couldn't lie to you anymore." She stopped and turned to him, allowing Castle to reach over and pull her into his lap.

"So what are you going to do?" he asked, rubbing his hands down her arms before pulling her closer into a hug.

"I need to find my father's killer. I need to make him pay for what he did," she whispered into his neck.

"Okay. Then I want to help you." The words sparked concern in her stomach and she pushed back to look into his eyes.

"Castle, no. I don't want you to get hurt because of me. Hell, I probably shouldn't stay here, in case someone was following me. It was a horrible idea for me to come up in the first place."

"No. It's non-negotiable. I'm helping you. And you want to know why?"

"Why?"

"Because you finally admitted we're in a relationship," he said with a smirk and a wiggle of his eyebrow. A low chuckle released from his throat, as he held her tighter and claimed her mouth with his.

"What if someone tried to follow me?" she asked, breaking the kiss.

"I have a state of the art security system and I live in a gated community. Wait—how did you get past security?"

"I flashed my badge," she said with a smile and a blush.

"Abuse of power. I like it! My girlfriend's a rule-breaker," he chuckled.

"Girlfriend? Jumping right to the titles, are we?"

"Yes, Beckett. You admitted it. We're in a _relationship_," he replied, popping the p for emphasis.

"I don't think I actually said those words," she said, laughing at his excitement.

"Maybe not, but you definitely implied them."

"So much for fun and casual," she muttered.

"But Kate, we can still be _very_ fun. I now have my gorgeous girlfriend up here with me for Memorial Day. I couldn't ask for anything more."

"I probably shouldn't stay. Just to be safe," Kate said again, trying to pull away but he reeled her back in.

"I'm not taking no for an answer now," he hummed into her ear.

"Castle—"

"Nope. Now when do you have to be back at the precinct?"

"Tuesday."

"So I have you all to myself up here for five days." He pressed a kiss against her neck and smiled.

"I didn't bring anything with me. I didn't actually realize I was driving here. Kinda drove on autopilot." She shrugged a bit, embarrassed about her poor planning.

"Well I'm sure Alexis has some clothes you can borrow and anything else you need we can go into town for."

"Castle, I should be working on my dad's case. I don't need to take a vacation right now." But he was making a convincing argument and every nerve ending in her body was telling her she wouldn't mind five days wrapped up in his arms. But if she did this? Took the time to herself? Was she letting her dad down?

"I'm going to help you with it, Kate. I don't want you doing it alone," he said while tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Excuse me—" Maybe she admitted that they could be together, but she would not allow him to tell her how she could conduct investigations.

"I didn't say you weren't capable. I just—these people sound dangerous. So I can be your backup. Your plucky sidekick if you will." He grinned and gave her a wink.

"Plucky sidekicks always get killed."

"Fine, partner then," he concluded and kissed her cheek.

"Okay, partner." She laughed at his stubbornness. Though, she couldn't really say much about that, she was the same way. If she allowed him to help, she would have someone watching her back. Someone she trusted. She would hate herself if he got hurt, but it was obvious that he wouldn't let her investigate without him.

"But that can wait. Let those people think you've dropped it. We'll enjoy the sand, the sun, and the water…" He wasn't going to let her leave.

Sighing to herself, she smiled and nodded her head. "I'll stay."

"No more lies?"

"No more lies," she agreed, feathering a kiss onto his lips.

"Together."

"Together," she repeated with another kiss.

"I missed you."

"It's only been a couple days," she teased, earning a scoff from him. "Kidding. I missed you too." She leaned forward and pulled him into a deeper kiss.

* * *

><p>Walking through the house, Kate was in complete awe of every room Castle showed her. Each space was decorated with the utmost detail that could be described as both classic and relaxed. He led her through with their fingers intertwined, occasionally squeezing as if to cement the fact that he was happy she was there with him.<p>

After the week that she had experienced, there was no way she should be this relaxed. This content. Yet there was something about this man; he had such a calming effect on her. She wouldn't admit it out loud, but he was really good for her. Castle looked back at her as they walked into the next room of their tour. His eyes were sparkling. He was beautiful, but with the genuine, honest look in his eyes when he looked at her; a certain four letter word came to mind.

Too soon.

It wasn't the first time she contemplated or considered that she may be feeling like that, but the way that he gazed at her made her believe he might be feeling the same way too. It was terrifying.

"This place is great, Rick. Really," she said, smiling up at him trying to cut the intensity of her thoughts.

"Only made better by you being here." She could feel the blush warm her cheeks and before she could tell him to cut it out he pulled her quickly toward the door. "Now come on, I want to show you my favorite part."

They walked through the set of French doors into his expansive backyard, though the word 'backyard; didn't quite do the view justice. It was absolutely breath-taking.

"When Alexis was little, we would just come up to the Hamptons and spend all day out here all summer long. Each day was a new adventure," he beamed.

"That sounds kind of magical." She looked around at the beautiful yard, the view of the ocean and the beach. The breeze tousled her hair and she took a deep breath. This was exactly what she needed.

"It kind of was. And now she's going to be at Princeton all summer." His face fell for a moment, but she nudged him and he answered with a smile.

"That's what you get for raising such an over-achiever," she smirked.

"I can't take much credit for that. She practically raised herself," Castle said with a shrug.

"Maybe, but she was lucky to have such a great dad."

"Beckett, are you going soft on me?" He chuckled as he grabbed her hand again.

"Maybe. I blame this place," she answered with a small laugh.

"Just this place?"

"Well you might have something to do with it too," she admitted with a wink. "Thank you."

"What are you thanking me for?"

"I needed this. I was falling down a rabbit hole back in the city. This—this is giving me some perspective. I don't want to lose myself to this case." Castle led her further into the yard, exploring his entire property.

"You have me. I won't let you, but for now—"

"For now, I'll try to not think about it. Let's put a pin in it until I'm back in the city," she decided, looking around some more.

"If you're sure…" He hesitated before she answered with a nod.

"I'm sure. Let's just be Kate and Rick, two people trying to figure out what it means to be in a relationship together."

"I like the sound of that," he beamed, pulling her closed into his side and kiss the top of her hair. "Definitely like the sound of that."

* * *

><p>As the sun began to set on her first day in the Hamptons, she sat on his private beach, staring out at the waves while Castle tended to the bon-fire he started. Smiling to herself, she couldn't believe what a difference a day made.<p>

Yesterday she would've never expected to be sitting next to a bon-fire on the beach with Castle. Yesterday, she was—no, she'd promised to put it out of her mind. She needed to just enjoy her time here with Castle. Her toes dug into the cool sand and she wiggled them, enjoying the feeling. She could do this.

"What do you think?" he asked, pride seeping from his words.

"Impressive campfire skills, Castle," she applauded.

"It's nearly perfect, if I do say so myself."

"Nearly?" she smirked.

"Yes, this fire is missing one key ingredient." He walked over to his bag and pulled out a couple of containers and a plastic bag. From her angle on the blanket, she couldn't see exactly what was in the mystery containers. Castle had insisted on packing everything for tonight all by himself. He told her he wanted to surprise her with a Hampton's evening she wouldn't forget.

"What's the missing ingredient?" she asked, craning her neck some more.

"S'mores!" he exclaimed, finally allowing her to see what was in his arms.

"Okay, I may officially like you a little bit more!"

"And you should know, I'm quite possibly the best s'mores maker this side of the Mississippi."

"And the biggest dork too."

"I'm going to pretend you meant that as a compliment or else I'm not going to share," he teased, waving the bag of marshmallows at her.

"It was _totally _a compliment. Now please share," she pleaded, reaching for the bag.

Chuckling softly, he brushed a kiss onto the top of her head before he sat down next to Kate and passing the marshmallows to her. She reached over for one of the skewers next to their supplies and poked a couple onto the stick. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed that Castle was sitting there with a smile on his face.

"You know staring is creepy," she smirked.

"I have no clue what you're talking about, Beckett. I wasn't staring." The words were out of his mouth but he didn't take his eyes off of her.

"Then what do you call it?"

"Okay, maybe I was staring a little. I can't help it. You're fascinating," he admitted. The fire glow in the background danced across his cheeks, but she swore he was blushing a bit.

"I'm poking marshmallows with a stick," she laughed. "Which, I thought you were going to show me these world famous s'mores of yours. Were you all talk?"

"Not all talk. It's just the more I get to know you, the more I learn, everything about you fascinates me. It's just—thank you," he stammered.

"What are you thanking me for?" A bit of a déjà vu from earlier, only now she was the one confused by the gratitude.

"For being here with me in spite of everything. For realizing that I'm more than my public persona. For trusting me and letting me into your life. I know it's not something you do and maybe you didn't even do it on purpose, but I can't help but feel grateful." His expression was warm. She reached over and cupped his cheek with her palm, grazing her thumb over the delicate skin below his eye.

"I'm the one who should be grateful. You're saving me from myself," she whispered, pulling him down with her onto the blankets and kissing him hard on the lips.

The s'mores could wait.

_**TBC**_

* * *

><p><em>Thanks so much for reading! I would love to know what you think. <em>


	15. Chapter 15

_A/N- Thank you to everyone who is reading this little story of mine. Hope those that celebrate Thanksgiving had a lovely holiday. (J&J - thanks to my personal cheerleaders)_

_Jo- thanks for all your help and patience with my ramblings :)_

_Disclaimer- Castle is not mine, but all the mistakes are._

* * *

><p><strong><em>The More Things Change…<em>**

* * *

><p>…<em>the more they stay the same. Kate Beckett is bored with life, but when a serial killer starts dedicating murders to her- someone enters the scene to aid with the investigation and her life may never be the same. Season 2- AU Caskett meeting.<em>

* * *

><p><span><em><strong>Chapter 15<strong>_

"Do you have to?" Castle asked with a whine, tugging on her hand before she could get into the driver's seat and back into his arms.

"You knew I had to be at work on Tuesday," Kate said, with a smile as she brushed a kiss against his cheek.

"Yes, but Tuesday came so quickly." He tightened his hold around her waist. After spending all weekend in his arms she didn't want to leave either. Duty called though.

"It followed Monday as usual," she joked.

"And Montgomery won't let you have any more time off?"

"Castle, I need to go back to work. Back to the case—"

"The case you promised you wouldn't look into alone?" he asked looking at her with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes, that case. And I'm still not going to investigate it alone. I just…" She didn't know what she wanted to even say. She had promised him, but if he was going to insist on helping her she needed a game plan, so looking through the files to prepare wouldn't be so wrong…

"I'll be back in the city by the end of the week. We can look into it then."

"I'm glad you aren't staying here all summer."

"I am too. Paula said the heat from those pictures has died down already. Plus, this little visit of yours has provided me with enough inspiration for several chapters of the book. Hell, I could probably even have it finished before I get home," he replied with a smirk.

"I must be pretty inspirational," she teased, reaching up for a quick kiss.

"That's why you're my mu—" She covered his mouth with her hand, preventing the word from escaping his lips.

"If you ever want to see me naked again, you won't call me your muse. 'Kay?"

"Okay," he replied with a wink. He hugged her a little tighter and brushed a kiss onto her cheek. Why did she have to leave again? She took a deep breath as she lost herself in his scent and his embrace.

"If I don't leave soon, I may never—"

"Why was that bad again?"

"My job. The case," Kate reminded him.

"Job, yes. Case, no."

"Castle, this is the most important case I've ever investigated." She wanted him to understand where she was coming from, but the concern in his eyes made it very apparent that it was a losing battle.

"And probably the most dangerous, from what you've explained," he replied as Kate ran her hands across his shoulders, down his arms.

"Exactly. Which is why I'm not completely on board with you helping me; I couldn't live with myself if you got hurt because of this. You're not a cop, Castle."

"No, but I'm someone to back you up. I've followed you around for a couple cases and I followed Shaw around for a few. I know that doesn't make me a trained professional—but Kate, I don't want something to happen to you either."

"And I could never ask Ryan or Esposito to risk their career by helping…" she said, lost in thought.

"So that leaves me. Do you trust me?"

Wait, what?

"Castle, of course. It's not—that's not why. You're someone I trust, but I've kinda grown attached to you."

"Is that _so_?" he beamed.

"Yeah and I want to keep you around. So I don't want any of your crazy ideas getting you killed." She cupped his face with one of her hands and pulled him into a lazy kiss. Breaking the kiss, he leaned his forehead against hers.

"Beckett, I know how much this means to you. I would never risk anything to do with this case."

"I know," she admitted.

"You're just coming up with excuses?"

"Maybe…" God he could read her like a book. Novelists, she thought to herself with a smile.

"We agreed that we would figure this out together and I meant it."

"I'm not going to be able to convince you to sit this one out, am I?" Kate asked in defeat.

"Nope."

"Fine. I'll lay low. Maybe I'll try to talk to my mom again instead," she sighed.

"You know you don't want this coming between you two," he replied, tucking her curls behind her ear.

"I hate when I fight with her. We haven't been this estranged since I was in my wild child phase, but then my dad—what happened with him..."

"It brought you closer," he paused. "So don't let this come between you. At the end of the day, she did this to protect you. I'd do the same thing for Alexis. I'd do anything to protect her."

"I know she didn't do it to be spiteful."

"And maybe some of her ideas haven't been the best, like calling the press, but she did it out of love."

"You're starting to make me feel bad about getting angry with her."

"Not my intention and I can understand why you're upset with her. It's just—I understand where she's coming from."

"You are so wise," she said with a smirk and a roll of the eyes. "I'll talk to her if I don't catch a case when I get back. I'll see you Saturday?" She reached up to press a kiss onto his lips as she wiggled out of his arms to get into the car.

"Saturday. Movie night? Maybe have a little sequel to our first date?"

"Sounds perfect," she beamed. God, he was making her into one of those sappy girls that she had always hated. This relationship was all encompassing. Hell, practically life altering at this point. Kate Beckett was in love. After this time at the Hamptons she couldn't deny it, but she still couldn't voice it. By all conventional standards, it was way too soon. However, looking up at him, she was grinning and couldn't lie to herself. She loved him.

She shut the door before Castle could try to pull her out again, but rolled down her window.

"You can pick the movie."

"I feel honored," she teased. "Okay, I'll talk to you later Castle. It was an amazing time."

"It really was. Thanks for coming." She started to roll up the window but he started talking again. "Beckett—Kate, wait. I need to tell you. It may sound insane, but I need to get it out. I lo—" He stuttered and then paused, looking so unsure of himself.

"Rick?" She reached over and grabbed onto his wrist for reassurance. The conversation was taking a turn back to serious and if she were to guess, she knew what he wanted to say. What he needed to say, but he shook his head instead with a smile.

"I had a great time with you." He brought his other hand up to hers and gave it a squeeze, releasing it from his wrist.

"Bye," Kate said with a small turn her lips. Hell she wanted to say it too, but she was just as tongue-tied as he was. There would be another time to tell him.

A better time.

* * *

><p>Walking into the Twelfth on Tuesday morning, Kate felt like a completely different person from a week ago. The time in the Hamptons helped ease some of the negativity and allowed her to recharge her battery. Stepping into the bullpen, she felt lighter. Happier.<p>

"Yo, Beckett. Have a nice little vacation?" her partner asked, meeting her at her desk.

"Hey Espo. And it wasn't exactly a vacation, Montgomery made me take the time off, remember?"

"Yes, but I heard from a reliable source that you didn't spend the entire time at home…" he said, with a teasing look.

"Lanie," she sneered.

"I would never reveal my sources…" he started to say but then caught the glare she shot him. "…Yeah, it was Lanie."

"Considering the fact that she was the only person that knew—she called while I was there, it was a safe bet," she laughed, sorting through the paperwork on her desk.

"So how are you and lover boy?" Kate dropped the papers into a folder and shot him a look.

"Lover boy? God, Espo, stop reading the cheesy romance novels. You're friends with Castle, so don't be creepy about it."

"I wouldn't be doing my job as your partner if I didn't give you a little crap about it. But honestly, Beckett—if he makes you happy then, I'm happy for you."

"Thanks?" The questioning tone in her voice hung in the air, as she raised her eyebrow to look at him. Was she missing the punch line? No more snide comments about the photos or her weekend away? Just that he was happy. Perhaps this was a parallel universe? Or perhaps if she was coming up with that as a theory, she had spent too much time with Castle. "Where's Ryan?"

"He took the day off to spend time with Jenny's relatives from out of town."

"Wow, meeting extended family. Must be getting pretty serious."

"Yeah. I don't know what has gotten in to you or him. Single life _has_ its perks," he stated, popping his collar and brushing his shoulder off.

"Okay—if you say so," she said with a loud laugh.

"Now there's a laugh I've missed." She would recognize that voice anywhere, but it couldn't be... Whirling around, she was shocked to see her old training officer was indeed standing there.

"Royce?"

"Hey I'm with him, Kid." He indicated Esposito with a jab of his thumb. "I've never been one to get tied down."

"What are you doing here?" she stuttered.

She hadn't thought about him in years and hadn't laid eyes on him longer than that. True, he was her training officer, but at the time he'd meant so much more. At one point she'd idolized him, even had thought she was falling in love with him when they worked together. She had been young and naïve though. Looking back at how things were then, it wasn't love.

She'd just followed him around like a puppy; completely unrequited.

The feelings she had with Castle weren't comparable.

"Your partner here, and Ryan, picked up someone I had a bounty on, but with the holiday, things couldn't get processed until today. Seems to have worked out nicely if the second trip meant that I got to see you," Royce explained with a smile.

"Yes, it's been a really long time. Too long. Are you in town for awhile?" Long since extinguished romantic feelings aside, she had so much she wanted to ask him. Hell she had so much she wanted to tell him.

"Just in the city for a bit of business and then I'm gone, I'm afraid."

"That's a shame. Next time you're around we should have dinner to catch up." Kate tried to hide her disappointment in the rejection, but it had been years and this sudden meeting was a reminder that he'd not only left the force, but he'd ended their friendship too. "Yeah, or we could all go out for drinks. I know I personally always love hearing old stories about Beckett," Esposito suggested.

"You would," she said, rolling her eyes and flicking the back of his head.

"Hey, I'm taking some of those stories to my grave because anything I have on her, I'm sure she has something far worse on me!"

"Oh and I have some good stories," Kate teased with a wink.

"Maybe next time."

"I'm sure Castle would love to hear all about young rookie Beckett," Espo said, sitting on the ledge of her desk.

"Which is exactly why Royce won't be sharing any details," she warned, pushing him off.

"Who's Castle?" His confusion made her love her partners a little more. They hadn't gossiped about her when she wasn't around on the weekend; either that or Royce lived in a bubble.

"The writer that's following her around and who happens to be her b—" Well apparently it was okay to gossip about her in front of her face.

"Um, hello? I'm standing right here. I can talk about my own life," Kate said.

"Uh huh. Sure you can," Esposito countered.

"Castle is a novelist who is writing a story about an NYPD detective who is vaguely based on me." Vaguely was definitely her word and not Castle's. After both seeing and hearing about his writing process this weekend it was safe to say that he pictured Kate when he was writing Nikki Heat.

"Very interesting. Where is this writer now?" Royce asked his tone a little off. It didn't sound like jealousy, but the curiosity in his question was odd.

"Finishing up some work in the Hamptons," she explained with a proud smile.

"Weren't you just in the Hamptons?" he asked with a chuckle shooting Esposito a knowing look. "Kid, you always played it close to the vest. I saw the way your eyes lit up when you mentioned him. He seems good for you. You seem happy."

"I am happy," she agreed.

"Well good. On that note though, I need to go claim my perp from booking so I can get my money!" He chuckled and then gave her a quick hug. "See you around kid."

"Good seeing you, Royce."

Her former training officer walked away and she felt a pang of remorse in her stomach. If only he was around longer, she would have loved for him to meet Castle. Royce could've seen that she finally had it together, that she was happy now and not the lost kid she once was.

"Any good cases while I was gone?" she forced herself to ask; her mind was a million miles away, so her voice cracked mid sentence. She shook her head, snapping from the trance she was in.

Esposito nodded. "You did miss one that was slightly Beckett-flavored. Guy was on a fake spy-adventure and was shot by his girlfriend's husband."

"Ouch." She winced.

"Yeah it was kinda twisted."

"Castle would've loved that," she guessed.

"Mmhmm. So is Writer Boy gone for the whole summer?"

"He was going to be, but things seem to have died down a bit with the media. And his publicist pulled a couple extra strings to divert any remaining attention," she said fidgeting with the pen on her desk.

"Who would've thought that a writer would get this much attention…" He had a point. Castle was a writer, not a rock star. Facts were facts though. The papers and the public both loved Richard Castle.

"His people love to spin it into book sales."

"It's a different world you're getting involved in," Esposito said.

"Definitely different than being a cop. But he's different. You know him. You know he's not like his public image." Even though Castle hadn't spent that much time at the precinct, the boys had hit it off with him and were now pretty good friends.

"True, I know him. But not like you _know_ him. I'm sure you got to _know _him a lot this weekend," he said with a smirk.

"_And_ this conversation's over…" She laughed at him as she walked into the break room for coffee.

Sighing to herself, she poured herself a cup of coffee from the pot; Castle's coffee had spoiled her against this sludge. She took a sip, shuddering. He was right, this stuff really was awful.

* * *

><p>Friday had snuck up on her.<p>

Flinging her front door open, she almost fell through the threshold, barely making it to the couch before collapsing. Exhausted wouldn't even begin to describe how she was feeling. She needed a long shower and a long sleep; maybe until Monday. The case they had caught was a complete whirlwind and she couldn't rest until she caught the man responsible. In the end they found the killer, trying to hop a plane to flee the country. After the marathon investigation, Montgomery told her and her team to go home and take the weekend off to catch up on much needed rest.

With the demand of the case keeping her occupied, Kate had played phone tag with her mom all week. She had wanted to tell her mom all about Castle and their plan to investigate the accident. She knew her mom wouldn't be completely supportive of the idea, but she wasn't going to let her father's death come between her and the only parent she had left.

Resting her head against a throw pillow on the couch, she bit her lip to try and hold back a smile. She just remembered. Castle would be back tomorrow. So much for spending the weekend in bed - she wouldn't be sleeping, in any case. Laughing to herself, she rolled her eyes at herself; Kate Beckett was a love sick fool. Maybe she'd fail at this relationship but maybe, just maybe it would be extraordinary.

She wanted to do something special tomorrow. She had the day off now and she wanted to plan a date with him. More than just the movie night that they originally had decided on, tomorrow she would tell him she had fallen in love with him.

Kate reached into her pocket to pull out her cell phone. Scrolling through her contacts, she hovered over his name before selecting his name. She wasn't sure why she had butterflies in her stomach, but she suddenly felt very giddy at the idea of asking Castle out on a date.

After several rings, she ended up with his voicemail.

"Hey Castle, I know you're back tomorrow. So how does dinner sound? Wear something nice? See you soon," she said with a tone more energetic than she even thought possible at this point.

Laying her cell onto her chest, she groaned. Her whole body felt sore and all she wanted to do was crawl into bed. She felt gross though, definitely needed a shower beforehand. Kate dragged her body toward her bedroom, pulled her phone into the charger, and hopped in the shower.

The only thing standing between her and sleep.

* * *

><p>The ringing from her cell phone snapped her out of her thoughts in the shower.<p>

Peeking around the curtain, she turned the water off, dried her body, and pulled her robe on. The steam from the shower had transformed her bathroom into a little sauna. It was near heavenly. Of course, by the time she walked into her bedroom in search of the phone it had stopped.

"Castle," she said, looking down at the missed call on her screen. With a smile on her face, she was about to return the call when she heard a crash coming from the other room.

What the hell?

"Hello?" She rolled her eyes at her own insanity. Did she expect an answer? As quietly as possible, she searched around for her gun. Her hand had barely skimmed the steel when she was knocked to the ground, hard. Her head slammed onto the floor and she could feel the warmth of blood running down the side of her face.

It took her a moment to register the hit and when her eyes fluttered open she watched as a figure, dressed in all black and ski mask, kicked her in the side. Wincing in pain she rolled her body over, trying to trip her attacker but her body wasn't responding the way she needed it to. Even as she felt the adrenaline pumping through her veins, the weight of the week was taking its toll on her strength. Whoever this person was, he had almost 100 lbs on her and it was obvious he had hand to hand combat training.

She managed to connect a single punch against the man's jaw, stunning him long enough for her to scramble toward the door, almost making it into the living room before he knocked her back down by grabbing her ankle and dragging her across the floor. Kate used all the energy she had left to try to kick the man, but he blocked her, using her own momentum to flip her body over. Every nerve ending was on fire and the pain was causing her to lose consciousness.

"Why are you doing this?" she choked out, her thoughts blurred and her eyelids heavy. She tried to fight, using every skill she had learned through all her years of training, but nothing was enough. He was going to kill her, and there wasn't anything she could do about it. She didn't want to beg, but it slipped from her mouth. "Please," she cried before everything went black.

* * *

><p>She could hear footsteps through the fog of her brain.<p>

"No, no, no, Kate." Castle? He was here? Oh please God. He needed to leave. He couldn't get hurt because of her. She felt his gentle touch against her abused skin. He was here. "Kate, please. Stay with me, Kate." She wanted to open her eyes. She wanted to tell him that he needed to run. She wanted to tell him so much, but her body wouldn't allow it. She couldn't even open her eyes.

"Kate, I love you. I love you, Kate."

She loved him, too. She had waited to tell him.

It was too late.

* * *

><p><em><strong>TBC<strong>_

_Thank you for reading! I would love to know what you think. Next chapter will be in Castle's POV_


	16. Chapter 16

_A/N- As mentioned in last chapter- this is in Castle's POV of chapter 15 events. (Craig thanks for one of the plot ideas of this chapter- hope I did your idea justice)_

_Jo- I've checked myself into comma-rehab. I promise. Thank you._

_Disclaimer- Castle is not mine, but all the mistakes are._

* * *

><p><strong><em>The More Things Change…<em>**

* * *

><p>…<em>the more they stay the same. Kate Beckett is bored with life, but when a serial killer starts dedicating murders to her- someone enters the scene to aid with the investigation and her life may never be the same. Season 2- AU Caskett meeting.<em>

* * *

><p><span><em><strong>Chapter 16<strong>_

Richard Castle was bored.

In the time since Kate left him to his own devices, he had finished the rest of _Heat Wave_ and sent it off to Gina. She had initially thought he was joking when he told her that he finished the rest of his draft. It had been the first deadline in years that he had met. Of course he didn't go into detail with his ex-wife; she didn't need to know that his current girlfriend had been the reason for his sudden inspiration.

Now it was Friday. He had originally planned to go back to the city tomorrow, but he was going stir-crazy. He knew that Beckett had a rather intense case that she was investigating and she had just texted him that they had finally caught the suspect. Case closed? That was pretty much the universe telling him that he should go back to the city a day early and surprise her. He didn't want to overwhelm her since he could tell she was stressed, so maybe he could just bring her a nice bottle of red and give her a long massage. She deserved it. The few times that they had talked during the week it didn't sound like she was getting much sleep. She was spreading herself thin.

They could have a nice relaxing Friday night and then tomorrow could be their original plan. A re-creation of their first date.

He laughed a little to himself as he started getting things together to leave for the city. This amazing woman had him infatuated more than any other woman ever had before. From the moment they met; he knew. He knew that he was completely done for. Kate Beckett was everything he had ever wanted and more in his ideal woman. She was intelligent, challenging, maddening and devastatingly beautiful; all wrapped up in the body of a badass detective. He was pretty sure he could spend a life time trying to learn everything there was to know about her and he would only discover a fraction of what there was to learn.

After his second divorce, he had never imagined he would find someone who he could be serious about. He had been completely content living his life hopping from one party girl to the next; until he had met her. When Agent Shaw had told him that they would be assisting the NYPD on a case, he could have never imagined that his whole life would change. Yet it did; from that moment he knew he needed to be in Detective Beckett's life.

Sure his usual charm didn't work on her. She was smarter than that, but their fast friendship had quickly grown. And now? Now there was no denying how deep his feelings were. He didn't want to put too much pressure on their newly defined relationship, but he had wanted to tell her as she was leaving; he thought she should know how much this weekend had meant to him. However, when he stood there, it hadn't felt like it was the right time.

Maybe tonight, over the bottle of red; maybe he could finally say the words that had left him tongue tied. He had fallen in love with Kate Beckett and tonight he would finally tell her.

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><p>When Castle got back into the city that night, he wasted no time in heading over to Beckett's place, stopping in at his apartment only long enough to change and choose the perfect bottle of wine before he was on his way out the door again. As he exited the elevator on the first floor he glanced at his phone, noticing that he missed a call from her. He smiled as he listened to the voicemail; it sounded like she had a similar idea for their date tomorrow. She truly was the perfect woman.<p>

The night was so nice, lending itself perfectly to walking to her apartment. He tried to call her back as he made his way along the streets, but it went right to voicemail. Hopefully she wasn't already sleeping. As much as he wanted to see her, he would feel bad if he woke her up. Castle paused for a moment; maybe this was a bad idea. He should've just waited until tomorrow when they had originally planned to see one another.

He was about to turn back around when he saw a flower cart with a huge selection of bouquets. Those flowers were too beautiful to pass up; it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world to bring his gorgeous girlfriend some of her favorite flowers and a great bottle of wine. Even if she was too tired for him to stay; he could still surprise her.

Selecting the perfect bunch of flowers for her took him longer than expected, so he debated calling her again to warn her of his visit, before going with his original plan. But as he stepped out of her elevator, the butterflies in his stomach increased, and he tried to tamp them down; Kate had spent all weekend in his arms. She wasn't going to have a change of heart. He needed to get his confident attitude back. She had admitted they were together. Even if she wasn't ready to say it back, she needed to know how he felt. His inner monologue was cut short as he walked along the hall to her apartment.

Her front door was open.

That was odd.

That was more than odd; still he tried to rationalize his fear, forcing himself to knock on the door frame as he called out. "Kate?"

No answer.

Shit.

Something was wrong. Walking into the apartment he saw that her entire family room was trashed. Someone was looking for something. Oh shit. Her case files! "Kate!" he yelled louder, but there was no answer. In the middle of all mess, there was a picture of her and her mom at what appeared to be Central Park. Written over the photo in bold black letters; '_**We warned you!'**_

"Kate?!" His voice and search started to get frantic. The horrible feeling in the pit of his stomach was growing, but as he entered her bedroom he saw it was far worse than he imagined. His girlfriend was lying on the floor of her bedroom, unconscious in a pool of blood.

"No, no, no, Kate." He dove toward her body. Please be alive; please be alive. Tears clouded his vision as panic took over his reactions. He nearly cried out with relief when he felt a pulse and could hear her breathing. Barely. "Kate, please. Stay with me, Kate." Pulling her lifeless body into his arms, brushing her hair out of her face and trying to find where she was bleeding. He could prevent the tears from rolling down his cheeks. How could this have happened?

"Kate, I love you. I love you, Kate."

He waited too long to tell her. Could she even hear him? He needed to get her help. She needed to make it; she needed to be okay. Reaching into his back pocket, he pulled out his cell phone and dialed 911.

"911, what's your emergency?"

"Please—please. My girlfriend was attacked. Please, I don't know if she's going to make it. She needs an ambulance!" His words weren't entirely coherent but he couldn't even think straight.

She had stopped looking into this over a week. Why had they come after her now?

* * *

><p>Castle paced across the waiting room. His thoughts were jumbled; he didn't know if she was okay. They wouldn't tell him anything. Every time the door swung open, his heart dropped into his stomach. What if they were coming to tell him she hadn't made it? What if those bastards had hurt her so bad that she couldn't come back from the injuries? What would he do if he lost her?<p>

"Mr. Castle?" He jumped at the sound of his name. His thoughts were racing through his mind so quickly that he hadn't even noticed the doctor standing there.

"That's me. Do you have news? How's Kate?"

"Mr. Castle. I'm Dr. Josh Davidson. You're Ms. Beckett's next of kin?" The doctor stood there with a calm nature, looking more like a runway model than a doctor. Was he even qualified?

"I'm her boyfriend. I'm the one that found her and called 911. How is she?" Castle asked emotion heavy in his throat.

"She's in serious condition, but she's stable," Dr. Davidson explained.

"I rode the ambulance here with her; you need to give me something more. Can I see her? Is she up?" Desperation weaved its way into his tone; Castle wasn't going to let some hospital protocol prevent him from knowing what was going on. Beckett was lifeless when he last saw her; he needed to see that she had survived. He couldn't wait any longer.

"She's still unconscious. Hospital rules state I can only discuss specifics with family. Do you know who I should call?" Dr. Davidson could take his hospital rules and his flowing hair and he could get the hell out of his way. Kate needed him.

"Her mother, Johanna Beckett. I tried to call already, after I called 911 actually, but she didn't—" They were interrupted by a woman walking up to the discussion.

"Rick?"

Castle was about to ask who this woman was, but then he took a good look at her. Standing in front of him was someone who looked nearly identical to Kate, but about twenty or so years older. No question this was her mom.

"Mrs. Beckett?"

"Johanna, please. I came as soon as I got your message." She assured Castle, before turning her attention to the doctor. "Where's Katie? I need to see my daughter."

"Johanna Beckett?" The doctor wasn't one for putting context clues together, was he? Maybe the doctor didn't deserve the snarky thoughts, but he was standing here, wasting their time. Time that they could be spending with Kate.

"Yes. I'm assuming you're my daughter's doctor. How is she?"

"Mrs. Beckett, I'm Dr. Josh Davidson. I was working in the ER when your daughter came in. We can discuss her injuries in private if you'd like," he explained, motioning to the group of chairs against the wall.

"That's nonsense. Anything you can tell me, you can tell Rick." A smile formed on Castle's face; he loved her mom already.

"As you wish. Your daughter came in badly beaten," Dr. Model Boy explained, glaring at Castle the entire time. It was almost like he thought…

"Wait a second, I didn't do this!" he yelled. It was one thing for the doctor to use hospital rules to prevent him from giving out information, but it was another issue if he was insinuating that Castle was responsible for Kate's injuries.

"I'm not saying you did," Dr. Davidson said, looking down at his chart.

"No, but you're looking at me like you are assuming this is my fault," he argued. This wasn't making the best first impression with Johanna, but he wouldn't let this doctor accuse him of this in front of Kate's mom.

"I'm not saying anything. I've just seen a few too many times where a boyfriend gets a little too hands on with his girlfriend, if you catch my drift."

"Well you can just cut the assumptions," Johanna interrupted, blindly defending Castle.

"Thank you. Yes, stop assuming things. Kate could take me down with one hand behind her back. She's a NYPD detective; now please tell me what's wrong with my girlfriend!"

"I apologize." Josh cleared his throat, but it didn't prevent the flush of embarrassment from staining his cheeks. "As I was saying, Ms. Beckett came into the ER badly beaten. She'd lost a lot of blood, has a couple cracked ribs, a broken arm and a concussion. She's stable, but we're keeping her sedated for the time being."

"How did she lose so much blood?" her mom asked.

"Her attacker most likely had a knife on him. I'm not a detective by any means, but there were a couple deep cuts on her body. I can't entirely be sure what happened but if the person did indeed have a knife then she's even luckier to be alive."

"Oh my God," Johanna cried, covering her mouth in shock. It took her a moment to gain her composure before she urged the doctor to continue.

"You can go in and see her now. But only one at a time, and please do not disturb her. She needs her rest."

"Thank you, Doctor."

"Yes, thanks," Castle said, unable to completely trust the pretty boy doctor, although he had most likely saved her life, so he was grateful to him for that fact alone. The doctor walked away, leaving Johanna and Castle to just stare at each other. "This was not the way I would have wanted to meet my girlfriend's mom." A nervous laugh escaped Castle's lips as he explained; this was probably one of the most awkward meetings ever.

"Rick, this isn't your fault. And trust me I would've loved to meet you under different circumstances as well. I'm just so thankful that you found her."

"I'm just glad that she'll be okay. It was horrible finding her like that," he said.

"You're lucky that the attacker wasn't still there or you could've been hurt as well. Was it a robbery?"

"I don't think this was random; and I think you know that as well."

"What—what do you mean?" she whispered, eyes wide.

"Kate told me everything and while this is not the place to have this discussion, there's something you need to know." He handed her the folded up picture from the crime scene. In all of the commotion of calling the cops, he'd had the right mind to grab it before it was taken into evidence.

"Rick—" she gasped, reaching for the photo with a horrified look on her face.

"I don't know if you're in danger too."

"Please don't judge me for wishing this was a random attack," she stated, shaking her head. He could tell that her thoughts were a million miles away, staring down at the picture.

"I'm not judging because I wished the same thing. It's just—it's obviously not."

"Okay—okay. I need you to hold onto this and I need you to look out for Katie." Johanna appeared to be forming a plan. She had the same look of determination on her face that Kate got when she was deciding something at work.

"Of course. Always," he said with a nod.

"I'm not going to stay long. Let me go check in on her and then…" Her eyes drifted away from his, but not before he could see the pain within them.

"You need to keep yourself safe Johanna. You won't be doing Kate any favors if you get yourself killed."

"This needs to end. I've let this go on for far too long."

"Maybe," he said, pausing to find the right words. "Maybe you did, but now you have the best detective on the case."

"She can't continue looking into this. You can't let her."

"No offense, but you and I can't tell her what to do. Your daughter is a strong willed, amazing woman who makes her own choices in life. As much as I'd like to tell her to drop it and stay safe with me on some tropical island… in just the short time that I've known her, even I know that she would laugh in my face or worse."

"I don't want her to get herself killed over this, over something that I started." She stood up and pulled him into a hug. Maybe it should be awkward, but it felt nice to hug someone who was just as concerned as he was.

"Trust me, I don't either. But trying to tell her what to do won't do either of us any good. What she needs is back up. What she needs is support. And that's what I intend to do; I'm her partner in this in every sense of the word," he explained, giving her arm one last squeeze as she started to walk toward to corridor.

"Katie is really lucky to have someone like you in her life."

"And I'm really lucky to have her. Now go check on her, I'll wait right here," he said with a supportive smile.

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><p>While Johanna was sitting with Beckett, Castle's mind was running wild with all the what-if possibilities. Her attacker had a knife; he could have stabbed her and left her for dead. The thought of finding the woman he loved lying dead in her apartment left him visibly shaking.<p>

"You okay?" a silver-haired man asked, coming up behind him at the coffee pot.

"Yeah. Sorry. Just lost in thought," Castle said, clearing his throat.

"Wife?"

"My girlfriend," he whispered, turning away from the pot and walking to the set of chairs in the waiting area.

"You're Richard Castle, right?"

"Yes, I am, but I'm sorry I'm not in the mood to sign anything right now," he sighed, looking down at his coffee cup.

"No, no," the man said with a laugh. "Quite an ego you have on you. I'm Mike Royce. I'm a friend of Beckett's."

"Oh, I'm sorry. It's just been a long day. It's nice of you to come, but she's still unconscious."

"Yeah, I've heard. I don't want to interrupt or take much of your time now. I don't even—"

"Royce, how can I help you?" He didn't mean to sound rude, but Kate was lying in a hospital bed. He wasn't in the mood to be social and entertain a friend that she'd never even mentioned before. Castle brought his hand up to rub his eyes and squeeze the bridge of his nose. The day was starting to wear on him.

"I heard what happened to her and I know why it happened…" Royce started to explain, but then abruptly stopped. Castle's eyes flashed open, glaring at the man before him.

"You know _why_? How? _How_ do you know?" he stuttered his questions at Royce, staggering toward him.

"Rick, it's a long story; one that I don't intend to get into with you in a hospital waiting room. But this—this is for Beckett." Royce reached into his pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper. "When she's recovered from this—I want to help her."

"Are you involved in this?" Castle hissed. Anger fired up in his veins at the idea that this man, someone who claimed to be Kate's friend, could possibly be involved in what had happened to her. "Did you do this to her?"

"No, no!" he insisted, shaking his head. "But what I did—it set the ball in motion. She's paying for sins a group of us committed that night long ago."

"I swear, if you laid a hand on her," he growled, grabbing at the material of Royce's shirt. Holding a handful near his chest, Castle shook him. His nostrils flared and he was close to punching the older man, but the look in Royce's eyes stopped him.

"I would never hurt her, Castle. Never. That's why after I found out what they did to her—against all ideas of self-preservation, I want to help her. Need to help her."

"Then tell the police. If you know something, if you could end this, then do it. I can't see her getting hurt anymore. Especially if you have the ability to put a stop to it!" he yelled. Sure, he knew better then to cause a scene, but his nerves were frayed. Kate had nearly been killed over her investigating her dad's death. Nothing about this was fair.

"Telling the police wouldn't help at this point. This goes too deep. There are too many people involved in the network. Hell, there is probably someone in this hospital monitoring things. That's why I can't stay. That's why I'm not going to wait for her to wake up. But I need you to give this to her," Royce explained, handing him the letter. "When she's ready, give it to her. It's where she can find me. We'll get justice for her family, once and for all."

"How can we trust you?"

"You don't have to, but she already does. That's all that matters." The man swallowed the last of his coffee, threw out the cup and then walked away.

An old friend was involved? How deep did this go?

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><p>Standing at the foot of her bed with Royce's letter burning a hole in his pocket, he watched as Kate's eyes fluttered open. A small smile formed on her lips when her gaze met his. All of his hesitation vanished when he looked into her eyes. He was at her side in an instant and threaded his hand carefully with hers.<p>

"Hey, Beautiful," he whispered, brushing some of the matted hair from her face.

"Hey, Castle," Kate rasped. "If you think this is bad—you should see the other guy."

He smiled down at her and feathered a kiss onto her forehead. Gently running his hand down her cheek, he wiped away the stray tear that rolled down her face.

"I'm sure you kicked his ass." He nodded, kissing the back of her hand that he held. She was alive and they were together.

Royce's letter could wait.

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><p><em><strong>TBC<strong>_

_Thank you so much for reading! Still with me? I'd love to hear your thoughts!_


	17. Chapter 17

_A/N- Back to Kate's POV_

_Jo- Thank you for all of your amazing help. It's truly appreciated._

_Disclaimer- Castle is not mine, but all the mistakes are._

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><p><strong><em>The More Things Change…<em>**

* * *

><p>…<em>the more they stay the same. Kate Beckett is bored with life, but when a serial killer starts dedicating murders to her- someone enters the scene to aid with the investigation and her life may never be the same. Season 2- AU Caskett meeting.<em>

* * *

><p><span><em><strong>Chapter 17<strong>_

Kate sat on the hospital bed staring off into space.

This was not the way she'd intended to spend her weekend. Yesterday she was supposed to be wrapped up in Castle's arms after having the romantic dinner that she imagined. Instead, they had eaten hospital food and watched bad TV before she passed out from her painkillers.

Not much of a date, but at least she was with Castle.

As she sat waiting to be discharged, her irritation was increasing by the minute. The doctors didn't want her to leave the hospital so soon, but she wouldn't take no for an answer. She didn't want to stay at the hospital for a couple broke bones and some cuts.

Maybe she was being stubborn. Maybe. But she knew all the physical injuries would heal; what she wasn't so sure of was how well her bruised ego would recover.

Someone had attacked her in her own home and she'd let them. She couldn't defend herself; what kind of cop was she? The only silver lining in the situation was the fact that Castle didn't show up in the middle of it. She shuddered at the thought of what could have been if he was there; he could've been hurt because of her.

"Deep in thought?" She jumped, lost in her self-deprecating internal monologue.

"Dr. Davidson! Sorry. Just thinking. Didn't even notice you standing there," Kate said with a laugh.

"I told you. Please call me Josh." He smiled at her as he moved further into the room.

"Yeah, it still seems a little informal for a doctor patient interaction."

"I've never been one for being conventional," he said with a wink.

"Mmhmm. Just so you know, you're not going to convince me to stay longer. The nurse said she would process my discharge."

"You're right. She is. I just wanted to make sure you had someone to watch out for you. You can't be chasing down any criminals until your ribs are healed. Even then, your arm will still be in a cast."

"I don't need you to list off all my injuries again. I can feel them," she snapped.

"Kate, I'm not saying that. I'm just saying as your doctor—I need to be sure that you're in good hands..."

Castle walked through the door holding two cups of coffee interrupting whatever the doctor was trying to say. His timing was uncanny. Handing her one of the cardboard mugs, he brushed a kiss onto the top of her head.

"What's going on?" he asked. "Get your paperwork yet?"

"Not yet. Dr. Davidson was just expressing his concern for my well being. He wanted to make sure I had someone to take care of me," she explained, taking a long sip of her latte. When she bought her own coffees they never tasted this good.

"It's my responsibility as her doctor. I need to know that she's going home to capable hands." So maybe Josh was trying to be a good doctor, but she couldn't help but feel like he was trying to hit on her. She laced her fingers with Castle's and set down her cup.

"My hands are more than capable," Castle responded, his words colored with double meaning. She jabbed her elbow into his side before this turned into another Demming-type jealously situation.

"I'm staying with my boyfriend for a couple days while my apartment gets cleaned up and re-keyed," Kate explained, squeezing Castle's bicep for reassurance. "I appreciate your concern, but I'm fine." She leaned up to kiss Castle on the cheek to emphasize her point.

"I'll leave my phone number with your paper work so you can call if you need—" Dr. Davidson explained, but she interrupted.

"It's not necessary. I'll schedule an appointment with orthopedics this week so I think I'm all set. Thank you for all your help," Kate said with a smile.

"Yes, thank you, Doctor," Castle grumbled.

As much as he didn't like the man, Castle seemed to want to remain polite. Last night while they were lying down together, pressed tightly against each other in the small hospital bed Castle had told her about the doctor's assumptions about him. Needless to say, Kate hadn't been too pleased to learn that her doctor had basically accused her boyfriend of beating her up. The man had only been doing his job, but it bothered her that Castle had to deal with that on top of everything else over the last couple days.

"Goodbye, Kate. Goodbye, Mr. Castle," Josh said with a tight smile and walked out the door. She couldn't argue the fact that he was a wonderful doctor. Maybe in another life she would've found him interesting as more, but in this life? No one could compare to Castle.

"Can we please never see him again?" Castle whispered into her ear as he pulled her carefully into his arms. She just shook her head and laughed before changing the subject.

"I was able to get in touch with my mom while you were gone. She wasn't too happy about the private security."

"Well I thought that was a good compromise," he said.

"It is. I can't get cops involved because I don't know who I can trust aside from the boys and I don't want them mixed up in it. The private security, the fact that you offered to set that up… It was really sweet."

"But she's mad about it?"

"Yes. You've managed to upset your biggest fan," she said with a laugh.

"I thought you were my biggest fan?" he teased.

"My Richard Castle fan-girling all started with her," Kate admitted with a smile. "It's for her own good though. I want her to be safe."

"Good. I wouldn't want to lose a fan!" He chuckled and wiggled his eyebrow at her. Shaking her head at his antics, she got lost in her thoughts for a moment. Was she safe?

"Are you sure it's okay for me to stay with you? I don't want to make Alexis or your mother uncomfortable." Maybe staying with him wasn't the best idea. They could all get hurt because of her.

"Beckett," he started, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "I was happy you asked. I would've insisted if you didn't. I want to take care of you."

"What if—"

"No what ifs. It's going to be okay."

"And they're okay with it?" She leaned forward to press herself further into his body.

"They love you, Kate."

"I could just stay with my mom. I just wanted—I wanted to be with you. It's completely selfish."

"Not selfish. Not at all," Castle said, nuzzling his nose into her neck before he feathered kisses down to her collarbone. "You, in my bed as I nurse you back to health - I can't think of anything better."

"Hate to break the news, Romeo," The nurse interrupted, walking into the room and causing the two of them to break apart. "Ms. Beckett's cracked ribs will prevent her from being involved in anything strenuous."

Castle released a nervous laugh and Kate felt the warmth of her cheeks. It was like they were two teenagers who just got caught by a parent. Kate cleared her throat and turned to the nurse.

"Paperwork?"

"Paperwork," she said handing her the discharge slips. "You two are free to leave. Just take it easy," she added with a wink and a laugh.

Nope. Not embarrassing at all.

* * *

><p>Kate loved his bed. The slide of the silken sheets against her skin, the smell Castle's cologne on the pillows, and the way she just sank into the luxurious mattress. At this rate she might never leave even if she was wanted too.<p>

They'd been home for a couple hours and he had refused to let her move or do anything for herself. Every time she winced in slight discomfort, Castle was there at her side adjusting the blankets or getting her a painkiller.

She knew he was just trying to be helpful, but he was being a little over the top. Not only was he being overbearing, but since she woke up he had been on edge.

Every so often he would start to say something, but his voice would cut out before he could get it off his chest. And it didn't necessarily seem like it was a good something. If his hesitation was nervousness about whether or not she heard him confess his love for her, she would've put a stop to this nonsense and she would've told him that she remembered.

It definitely wasn't a conversation he wanted to have, whatever it was.

"I ordered the pizza. Anything else I can get you right now?" Castle asked, walking back into his bedroom.

"Castle—Rick, I'm fine. Stop worrying about me." He started fluffing her pillow, but she grabbed his wrist before he could fuss any further. "I'm serious."

"I just can't…" His voice trailed out and she pulled him down to her on the bed.

"Hey. Hey. Talk to me," she said running her hand down his cheek, drawing small circles with her thumb. Kate leaned into his body and pressed a kiss onto his lips. Barely moving away from his mouth, she whispered, "I'm here."

"I know you are, but I was almost too late Kate. Finding you like that—it scared me to death. To see the woman I…" He stopped again. No, Castle was a man of many words and she wouldn't let him stay silent.

"The woman you? Castle?" she asked. She knew. She did, but he needed to say it. Until he said it when she was awake, she wouldn't believe it was real.

"The woman I love. I love you Kate. To see you lying there…" His voice cracked and his words fell silent.

"Hey. Castle, I love you too," she murmured against his lips, brushing away the tear rolled from the corner of his eye. "I would've never wanted you to find me like that, but I'm so grateful you did. I owe you everything."

"You love me?" His question was filled with astonishment.

"Is that even a question? Look at everything that's happened since I've known you—Castle, you've completely changed my outlook on things. I've never had someone in my life that cared for me the way you do…"

"I wanted to tell you in the Hamptons."

"I did too," she admitted while resting her forehead against his, gently cupping his cheeks.

"And then, when I saw you at your apartment…I thought I missed my opportunity. I thought you were gone and you'd never know the truth," he said, his tone so unsure, so tentative.

"Castle, I knew. You didn't have to say it. I could see it in your eyes when you looked at me… and your smile, as you listened to me tell you about my day. You're an amazing man." Brushing her nose against his, she met his lips in a kiss that started lazy but grew in intensity before she broke the connection, blushing again at the recollection of the nurse's chiding words.

"I'm amazing because you're in my life. You inspire me," he breathed against her skin, running his hand down her arm in a completely soothing fashion.

"Are you real?" Kate asked as she carded her fingers through his hair, curling her fingers against the shell of his ear. "My boyfriend is such a sap and I think that makes me love him more." Her hand trailed down the side of his face and her thumb traced the outline of his lips as Castle pressed a kiss against the tip.

"Before the pizza comes, I have something I need to tell you. While you were in the hospital, I talked to someone in the waiting room…"

She had changed her mind. Whatever he needed to say, whatever bad news he needed to share, she didn't want to ruin this moment in his arms. His news - the nurse's warning - would wait.

"Shhh," Kate husked as she lowered her lips to his ear. "Enough talking. You said you love me. Now show me. Just be gentle."

"Oh, I can be gentle," he growled into skin.

Sure, it wasn't the easiest to maneuver with one arm in a sling, but she needed him. Whatever he had to tell her could wait.

* * *

><p>A cell phone's ringtone woke them both out of a deep sleep.<p>

"Yours?" Castle asked with a yawn.

"Mmhmm," she hummed. Her mind was still heavy with sleep and painkillers. She wasn't even sure how the ringing woke her up.

"Here. It's Ryan," he said looking down at the screen before he handed it to her.

"Thanks," Kate said clearing her throat. "Beckett."

"Kate…" Her partner's voice sounded off.

He was using her first name. They boys never used her first name.

Unless…

"Ryan? What's going on? It's four in the morning." She didn't want to panic so she tried to calm her racing heart. No need to assume the worst.

"We had a body drop."

He woke her up for a case? "Okay? Ryan, you know that I was just released from the hospital, right? I'm on leave for at least a week." There had to be someone else that could assist with this.

"Beckett, I know. That's not why—the victim. It's Royce." Her heart dropped.

"Wh—what?" Her voice was broken. This couldn't be happening. She had just seen him at the precinct a couple days ago.

"Kate, Royce is dead." The phone fell from her hand and she flung her unsteady body from Castle's bed, racing into his bathroom.

She was going to be sick.

"Kate? What's wrong? What did Ryan say?" Castle's questions as he trailed behind her were filled with love and concern, but she could see the fear in his eyes.

"My friend," she tried to explain, but she had to choke back the bile. "He's dead. Mike Royce. He was my training officer," Kate managed to get out before she started being sick. She felt Castle gather up her hair and rub her back as she leaned her head against the cool porcelain.

Her stomach was completely empty before she calmed down enough to sit back on her heels. Castle stood up and walked to the sink bringing a wet wash cloth to wipe her face.

"You okay?"

"Yeah. I'm sorry. Just struck a nerve. We lost contact and it was years since I talked to him… but last week I talked to him while you were in the Hamptons. He was_ fine_," she said, choking back tears.

She glanced over at Castle to find his face ghostly white.

"Kate," he said. "I met him."

"You what? Wh—when?" she stuttered.

"In the hospital on Friday, he was there…"

"He was there? Castle, I don't. I don't understand. Why was he there? And why did you not mention it?"

"I tried to tell you earlier. I've been trying to find the right time to tell you, but as usual, there's never a right time."

"He was at the hospital, but I didn't see him?"

"No, he said he wanted to talk to me."

"Castle, you're not making any sense. What did he want if he didn't want to see me?" She watched as Castle jumped to his feet and rushed into his bedroom. After she heard things being shuffled around, he was back by her side.

"Kate, he wanted me to give you this…" He reached for her hand that was free of the sling and placed a folded up piece of paper in it. She looked down at it and up at him. Castle's eyes were shining with unshed tears; he looked terrified.

"Can you give me a minute?"

"Of course. I'll be in the bedroom," he whispered, placing a quick kiss on the top of her head before walking away.

Staring down at the paper in her hand, Kate took a deep breath. It was like Pandora's Box. Did she want to open it? Did she want to know what it was? With one last sigh, she unfolded the paper with one hand.

It was a letter.

_Kate,_

_I'm so sorry. You were never supposed to know the truth. I was supposed to protect you, but you got too close._

Her eyes slammed shut before reading any further.

Royce.

Her friend.

Her mentor.

He was involved.

* * *

><p><strong><em>TBC<em>**

_Thank you so much for reading this! Hope you enjoyed it. I'd love to know what you think!_

_(J&J Thanks for your constant support and friendship.)_


	18. Chapter 18

_Jo- Thank you for the awesome beta help and listening to my crazy ideas and telling me they're not that crazy. _

_Disclaimer- Castle is not mine, but all the mistakes are._

* * *

><p><strong><em>The More Things Change…<em>**

* * *

><p>…<em>the more they stay the same. Kate Beckett is bored with life, but when a serial killer starts dedicating murders to her- someone enters the scene to aid with the investigation and her life may never be the same. Season 2- AU Caskett meeting.<em>

* * *

><p><span><em><strong>Chapter 18<strong>_

It was a letter.

_Kate,_

_I'm so sorry. You were never supposed to know the truth. I was supposed to protect you, but you got too close._

Her eyes slammed shut before reading any further.

Royce.

Her friend.

Her mentor.

He was involved.

* * *

><p>Leaning back against the head rest of the passenger seat, Kate closed her eyes tight.<p>

Castle had understood enough to offer to drive them to the crime scene; he could tell how important this was to her.

Now, she was just trying to keep it together on the drive, the letter that Royce had written her clutched in her hand. She had refused to put it down, but she also couldn't bring herself to read any further.

Not yet.

First she had to see him; she had to see that it was real. She released a jagged sigh as she felt Castle smooth his hand across her knee, lightly rubbing soothing circles. Before long she felt the car stop as Castle pulled up to the curb and parked. Her eyelids were heavy as she forced herself to open them.

"Hey, are you sure? You don't want to remember him like this…"

Sure, he had a point, but she couldn't think logically right now. There was no way she couldn't see for herself, and if Royce was involved in some way with her dad's murder then his killer could also be involved.

"Castle, if it was me lying there would you just walk away?"

Kate made a beeline for the yellow crime scene tape where she found Montgomery blocking her way.

"Where is he?"

"Turn around and go back home, and let me handle this, all right?"

"Sir, I've seen dead bodies before," Kate said, pushing past him toward the scene as she shoved the folded up letter into her back pocket. Lanie looked up from the body as she and Castle and ducked under the tape.

"I'm so sorry, honey," Lanie stated, her expression tight and controlled.

"Just tell me what happened," Kate said, glancing down at Royce's body and then rubbing her uninjured hand over her face. She started to rock backward from the weight of the day, but before she could lose her footing Castle was behind her with a hand supporting her waist.

"He was shot in the leg first. Judging from the blood trail, I'd say the bullet broke the bone. He tried to hide, but… I found this in his pocket. He just flew in from Los Angeles this afternoon." Lanie went on to explain further, but she zoned out. Leg first and then he was shot in the head. Royce's lifeless body was more than she could handle. She caught a sob that was rising in her throat.

She refused to breakdown at a crime scene.

"Thanks, Lane," she whispered. She couldn't listen to anymore; couldn't stomach the dead ends that they would no doubt encounter. Nothing about this made sense. She took one last look at his body and then laced her fingers into Castle's hand to pull him back to the car.

As soon as they were both inside with the doors shut and engine running, Kate turned to Castle completely puzzled. With her emotions under control, her mind was racing with ideas of what could've happened.

"He flew to LA for one day?"

"That's what it sounds like."

"Yeah, but it doesn't make any sense. Why did he come to the hospital and then hop onto a transcontinental flight?"

"Maybe…" he started but his voice seemed to lose confidence. It was like he was afraid of saying something to upset her.

"You think I should read the letter, don't you?"

"I think it could possibly give insight to why he made a quick trip. It sounded like it was his way of explaining…"

"What if I don't like what I read?" she asked.

"What if you don't look?"

She released a long sigh. "You're right."

"I know."

"Don't gloat," she said with a small smile.

"I'm not. Sorry. Do you want me to hold your hand while you read it?"

"No. For starters, I'm not _that_ clingy of a girlfriend. Secondly, I have one good hand right now and I need that to hold the damn letter," she huffed.

Her arm in the splint was getting really old and it had only been a day. Maybe the orthopedic doctor would have good news for her this week when she had it set in the cast. Leaning her body to reach for the letter from her back pocket, she looked down at the folded up paper and sighed.

So she was going to read it.

She could do this. She could.

She just didn't want to.

* * *

><p>'<em>I want to make this right kid. I don't want you or anyone else you care about get hurt over something stupid I was involved in.<em>

_My friends and I made some horrible choices when we were first on the force. We thought we were making the city a better place, but in turn we were living outside of the law._

_Innocent people got killed and our ideal of making the city a better place was lost when more powerful people found out._

_We paid high prices and not just monetary to keep our sins hidden._

_Then your mom investigated a case that led to the cover up and could potentially reveal the identity of the man whose power only increased from the blackmail he had on all of us. Your mom never got that far in her investigation. She only found out the overview. She never was able to find names. She didn't know about me. I'm sure if she would've looked further…_

_That's where your dad's accident came into the story._

_Kate- you have to believe that I wasn't involved in that. My only sin was being responsible for giving this man his power._

_He's hungry with it and has no issue in taking out anyone that could stand in his way._

_When I met you at the Twelfth I promised myself that I would make this right in some way, no matter how long it took. I knew that you would make the best cop and you're an even better detective now. I'd like to tell myself that I had some hand in making you great, but you far surpassed anything I could've had any influence on._

_Kid, you're electric._

_But when I saw how great you were, I knew you'd stumble on this somehow. I tried my best to keep you out of the line of fire. I tried to keep the target off of your back even when you had no idea there should've been one there in the first place._

_I'm sorry, Kate. I'm sorry to your mom. She found the wrong thing at the wrong time. I'm sorry for your dad. I wish I could've stopped that._

_The man is in LA. I'm going to put an end to this. This will end so you can have a long, happy carefree life._

_I don't want you to look back on things and think…_

…_If only.'_

She couldn't breathe.

He basically had gone on a suicide mission to try to keep her and her family safe.

"Castle," she choked out as tears streamed down her face.

"I'm here. Whatever you need. I'm here."

"We need to go to LA."

* * *

><p>Kate was in Castle's bedroom packing them a small bag for their trip. There was no way she would risk going back to her apartment, she would just have to make do with the clothes she already had at his place.<p>

"Kate? You have a visitor…"

"Visitor?" she asked, turning toward the door. Her mom.

"Katie…" Johanna said, walking into the room and pulling Kate into a hug.

"Hey Mom," she muffled the greeting into her mom's shoulder.

"Are you sure about this?"

"I'm going to give you two a minute," Castle said, smiling at their hug.

"Thanks Rick," Johanna replied. He left with a nod and her mom turned back to her. "Are you sure?"

"Mom, it's the best lead we've had. Royce died trying to right his wrongs. He died trying to end this. I need to bring those responsible to justice. I owe it to Dad. Hell, I owe it to both of them." She was still heartbroken about the fact that Royce was involved in the domino effect of this cover-up, but in the end he had tried to fix his sins.

Nothing could bring her father back and hating people for their mistakes wouldn't bring her peace.

"These people nearly killed you already. I can't lose you. I just want you to be smart about this. Shouldn't you bring the LAPD into this? Get actual cops to help you. Rick is great, hon and I'm sure he'd follow you off of a cliff if you'd ask—but he has a family too. He has a daughter that loses her father too, if something goes wrong."

"Trust me, I know that. The idea of something happening to him? I would die before I'd let anything happen to him, but he's the only one I trust to help me with this. If I tried to do this on my own, I could see him sneaking off and meeting me in LA anyway. It's easier to just bring him along in the first place," Kate explained the best she could to her mom.

There wasn't a right answer in this.

Everything about this was dangerous and reckless and irresponsible.

She knew it, but she couldn't live the rest of her life with a target on her back. She would never be able to have the type of life she wanted for herself or with Castle with this hanging over her head if she knew that any day, someone could come back and finish what they couldn't last time.

She sucked in a breath and her sides ached from the bruises and cracks in her ribs. It was the reminder she didn't need, but it emphasized her point.

This needed to end.

* * *

><p>Ryan and Esposito had briefed them on everything they found out about Royce's murder. It wasn't much but at least they had some idea of where he had gone while he was in Los Angeles.<p>

It was better than nothing.

Sinking into the first class seat that Castle insisted upon, she pulled his hand to her lips and gave it a quick kiss.

"Thank you."

"No need to thank me," he said, shaking his head while turning to kiss her hair.

"You're risking everything. Risking it for me. I just can't help but feel like I'm not worth it."

"That's where you're wrong. You're worth everything." His eyes carried such love and concern. She wasn't sure what she ever did to deserve his love, but she cherished every second of it.

"I love you," she whispered and pressed a kiss onto his shoulder before curling up into his side. "Let's talk about something else. We have a long flight and I need to not focus on what could happen…"

"Oh, I forgot to tell you. The studio called me about the Derrick Storm movie. They wanted me to do a set visit, so that gives us a perfect excuse for being in LA," Castle explained.

"Look at you, my boyfriend's so cool now he's in the movie business." She rolled her eyes at him but her smile betrayed her. She was really proud of him.

"It was in the works for awhile. I'm surprised you didn't know about it."

"I knew." It seemed like it was forever ago that she had heard Ryan and Esposito talking about it on the night that Dunn first called the precinct. That case had changed her life forever.

"Because you stalk my fan sites because you're a huge fan," he teased.

"Or because before I knew you—your face was plastered over several media outlets about it," she objected with a laugh.

"Maybe they'll make Nikki Heat into a movie one day." Oh that would be crazy. Seeing her alter ego on screen? Maybe not such a great idea.

"You'd have to finish it first," Kate said, nudging her elbow into his side.

"It's been with my publisher for a week now."

"You finished it?"

"Yeah, I was going to tell you when I came to see you. I even had a copy to surprise you with."

"You _what_? I understand I was in the hospital, but why didn't you mention it before now? And Castle, where is my copy of the book?" she demanded.

"I was going to wait and give it to you when we got back," he explained.

"Would've nice to have it to read for the flight, but I'll forgive you."

"You better," he smirked, reaching down into his bag. "Because I changed my mind." Castle handed her a copy of his draft.

_Heat Wave_

Oh God!

Yep, she would get made fun of for this.

"Why is she naked on the cover?"

"I was very inspired," he said with a wink.

* * *

><p><em><strong>TBC<strong>_

_Thanks for reading! I would love to hear from you :)_

_(Joanna and Janna- you guys are the best cheerleaders a girl could ever ask for)_


	19. Chapter 19

_Thank you to all the wonderful people reading this fic. I appreciate everyone of you for reading this._

_Jo- Thanks being a wonderful beta with this story and motivating me. This story would not be what it is without you :)_

_Disclaimer- Castle is not mine, but all the mistakes are._

* * *

><p><strong><em>The More Things Change…<em>**

* * *

><p>…<em>the more they stay the same. Kate Beckett is bored with life, but when a serial killer starts dedicating murders to her- someone enters the scene to aid with the investigation and her life may never be the same. Season 2- AU Caskett meeting.<em>

* * *

><p><span><em><strong>Chapter 19<strong>_

"So the studio comped me a two bedroom four star suite. We can set up shop there. They have the most amazing couple's massages," Castle said, the California sun warming them as they drove down the well manicured boulevard.

"You do know that we're not here for a vacation right? I need to figure this out, Castle. This is the most important case of my life!" Kate snapped. He turned his head toward her as they pulled up to a red light and he ran his hand against the top of her thigh.

She was wound a little tighter than she thought.

"Hey, hey. I know. We will solve this. I'm here to be a help, not to be a distraction, but we also need to make sure we're smart about this. I'm not going to lose you to this, Kate. I almost lost you once. Hell, you'll still not healed from your attack." The concern cracked in his voice and his hand gripped her leg a little tighter. Not enough to be painful, but enough that she could tell he was trying to remind himself that she was still there next to him.

"Castle, I'm feeling fine. I didn't even need to take pain meds today. You're not losing me to this, but you're the only back up I have. I'm not a cop in LA so anything we do—we need to stay under the radar."

Ryan and Esposito knew that she was flying to Los Angeles and they knew she was trying to follow a lead on Royce's murder. However, that's as far as it went. They were still in the dark about her father's accident and Royce's connection to it. Hell, they still were unaware that there was any conspiracy surrounding her dad's death and it would stay that way. She wouldn't allow her friends and partners to get swept up into the drama. The guys still thought her attack at her apartment was a random wayward event.

"I can do under the radar," he said and she laughed.

"Really? Castle, look at the car you rented for us? A bright red Ferrari? Not exactly incognito."

"It's completely normal here, no one will even look in our direction. It's not like when I drive mine in New York."

Looking around at the other cars on the road, he might have a point. This didn't exactly stand out in the sea of other high end vehicles.

Wait, what? He had a _Ferarri_?

"You have a car like this? How did I not know this? And how have I not driven it yet?" Muscle cars had been one of her weaknesses ever since she was a teenager. She had always dreamed of owning one someday. It was a common daydream she and her dad shared.

"Now who's losing focus?" he smirked at her as they pulled back into traffic.

"You're right, but I've just always wanted to drive one."

"How about this? We'll handle things in LA and bring down this bastard. Then as soon as we're back in the city, we can go to a club for a night and I'll let you drive it—"

Well that was a no brainer. Driving Castle's Ferrari? The only catch was she had to go to a club and have the pleasure of pressing her body up against his all night? Um? How was this even a question?

"Deal—"

"Ah ah ah. I wasn't finished. I'll let you drive it as long as you wear that short black little dress I saw hiding in your closet."

How did he-?

"You were snooping?" she asked, raising her eyebrow at him in surprise.

"Researching…" he defended, avoiding her eyes but a small smirk was forming on his lips.

"Same thing!"

"Do we have ourselves a deal, Detective Beckett?" he asked as his eyebrows danced in an irritating fashion. Only irritating because he knew she would agree to it and he was gloating already.

"Fine, deal! I'll wear it, but you go home alone that night."

She knew as well as he did that it was an empty threat, but she had to add something to the deal as a matter of pride.

"Ha! Like you'd be able to resist me."

"Man, someone is a little too _cocky_ today." Kate laughed as he pulled up to the valet parking in front of the hotel.

"Maybe so but I'm getting you to smile…" Castle said, opening the car door and swooping around to open hers before she even had the chance.

He did have the ability to take her mind off of things. It was one of the many things she loved about him.

"You did, but we're here now. We can start the investigation." She tried to reach for the small bag that she had packed for herself, but Castle swatted her hand away, pulling both of their luggage out of the car himself.

The bellboy and concierge attendant let them into their room with their bags. Showing them around, they made sure that everything was up to Castle's usual standards before they left them to be alone.

"Why don't we get settled in—order some room service?" he asked.

"Castle, I'm not here for room service. I'm here for justice," Kate stated, walking into their bedroom. He followed after her with a soft chuckle.

"Wow, you've been in LA for all of a minute and you're already spouting cheesy movie dialogue."

"Don't make me shoot you," she teased with a glare looking over her shoulder.

"I'm sure that's in a movie somewhere too."

"Castle!"

"Right, sorry. Where should we start?"

"Ryan said that Royce had an address on file that he would stay at when he was in LA. Maybe we could start there? See if anyone saw him there over the last couple of days?"

Their search for answers really was a needle in a haystack, but at least they had a haystack to look in.

Even if it was the entire city of Los Angeles.

* * *

><p>They spoke to the owner of the home that Royce had crashed at when he came to LA. The man didn't have any idea of what Royce was doing nor did he even know that Royce had been killed. Although he couldn't provide them with any answers or explanations, he allowed Beckett and Castle to look around Royce's room to see if they could find any information.<p>

"Mike said if a Detective Kate Beckett ever came to ask me questions that I should let you in. It's the least I can do. Mike was a good man."

Kate gave him a polite smile as he shut the door to the room to give her and Castle some privacy.

"Do you have any idea what we're looking for?"

"No, but if Royce told him to let us look he obviously hid something for me to find."

The room was pretty bare. Nothing personal could be seen by the naked eye. The bedding was generic and there weren't any decorations on the walls. This seemed to be nothing more than a place for him to sleep and then move on with whatever business he needed to attend to. Kate had heard a couple years back that Royce had become a bounty hunter but until seeing him in the precinct a week ago she had never run into him. From what the home owner said, Royce stayed here quite a bit so he didn't find it unusual for him to swing by for a day and then disappear.

It was the way Royce worked.

"I was so in awe of him, Castle, when I first met him. I just hung on his every word. And then later, I realized he was just making up stories to mess with me." She laughed, remembering all the time they spent together as she flipped through random paperwork in his nightstand. "I can't believe I'm never going to see him again." She sighed and closed her eyes, as she felt Castle wrap his arms around her in a reassuring hug. He pressed a kiss into her hair before they both continued looking around.

Castle flipped over the mattress to see if there was anything in the obvious hiding spot.

"Have you seen one too many cop movies, Castle? Things of value are never actually hidden there," she teased.

"You keep saying that, but I bet that you've found enough evidence hiding underneath a mattress."

"Fine, you have a point. But not Royce, he's—he was smarter than that."

"Okay, so he was smarter. Then where would he hide something that he'd know you would look."

"There," she said, pointing at the heating vent above his bed. "Do you have a Swiss army knife? I need a little screwdriver."

"You really think he'd put it there?"

"Yeah. One of the cases we worked together, the victim hid a note taped to the top of a heating duct. He told me that if he was ever found dead—always check the heating ducts for evidence. I remember smacking him in the arm for his sick sense of humor…" she sighed, her voice cracking as she remembered that case vividly.

One of the first murders she worked as a uniform.

"Here, let me get it opened. I'm not so sure you should be straining yourself so much, Kate. You're still in a soft cast," he said, propping himself up on the bed next to her and gently moving her aside.

"Castle, I'm fine," Kate huffed.

"Just humor me, okay?"

She moved out of the way so he could hop up on the bed and remove the grate. He pulled a flash light out of his back pocket and directed the light inside.

"You brought a flashlight? You're like a wannabe Sherlock Holmes," she teased.

"I came prepared. Unlike a certain detective I know…"

"What would I ever do without you," she stated with a sarcastic tone and a roll of her eyes, but the meaning behind her words rang true. At this point, she didn't know what she would ever do without him.

"You can just admit I'm your hero and we can move on with our lives."

"Don't push it," she laughed.

"Ah ha! Another letter. It's like a treasure hunt really," Castle stated, turning toward her to hand over the piece of paper. "What does it say?"

She took a deep breath. As she unfolded the page, a small key fell out onto the bed. Their eyes met for a brief second as the confusion washed in the air between them. Running her thumb against the paper, she looked down at possibly the last thing Royce wrote while he was alive.

'_Kid-_

_If you're reading this then things didn't go entirely according to plan. I'm sorry I couldn't put a stop to things myself, but I have all the evidence that you need to get those who were responsible. I just wanted to put my own personal demons away myself; it was selfish, but I wanted to prove to you I could still be good in some way._

_I guess I paid for it with my life if you're in LA._

_That's not the way I wanted this to go but it was a long time coming. _

_I'm on the clock so here's what will help bring this to an end._

_Two names you need to know:_

_Ganz and Bracken._

_Ganz is low level. Bracken is at the top._

_This key is to a safety deposit box where I stored all the evidence. It's all there, kid and I'm sorry I was such a coward that I didn't turn it over earlier. The result would've been the same._

_Just be careful. They have people everywhere. The network runs deep- all levels of the government and so many people are in their pockets._

_-Mike '_

Castle picked up the key and looked at it.

"Bracken? You don't think he means Senator William Bracken?"

"I don't know, Castle. But my question is where is this box at? There's nothing else in the vent?"

"Nothing aside from some dust bunnies."

"We have to be missing something," Kate said pushing the letter into her back pocket. "Hold onto the key. Let's go back to the hotel and call the guys. Maybe they found something with Royce's murder that could help us."

* * *

><p>She put in a call to her partners to see if anything more had come up with their investigation. It turned out that security footage showed a man whom they later identified as Russell Ganz. He flew into New York from Los Angeles around the same time that Royce did. In fact, this mystery man also was spotted leaving the scene of the crime right around his time of death.<p>

None of that could be a coincidence.

The boys were following down more leads in New York so at this point of the evening their investigation in LA was at a standstill. Ryan promised to let her in on whatever else they found about Royce's murder, agreeing that the names in Royce's letter, Ganz, was indeed their best bet. So if Ganz was a hit-man, could he possibly also be the one who was responsible for her dad's accident?

And Senator Bracken? Was the government really _that _corrupt that someone that high up would be responsible for blackmailing cops and killing off anyone who stood in his way?

"This is it Castle. We're so close. I can feel it," she murmured, sinking into the couch back at the hotel.

"You'll finally have justice for your dad…" Castle said. He handed her a glass of wine as he sat down next to her, pulling her close to his body.

"After the years of lies and manipulation, it will be nice to be able to know that he can finally rest in peace." Kate looked down at her dad's watch and lightly traced the glass face with her fingertips.

"And your mom won't have to live in fear anymore."

She sighed and took a long sip of her wine before she set in on the table beside them.

"I still can't believe she lied to me that entire time—that his accident was one huge conspiracy, but now I understand why she did it. Loving someone so much that you'd do anything to protect them? I love my mom and I want her safe. But Castle, before you? I never understood the all consuming sort of love—I'd do anything for you," she whispered, feeling the heat of her confession on her skin. Kate hid her face into his chest and leaned further onto his body.

"And you know I'd do anything possible to keep you safe. I love you," Castle said, kissing the top of her head.

"How did I ever get so lucky to get you in my life?" Kate asked, turning her head up to look into his eyes.

"Murder."

"Ah yes. The ultimate match maker," she giggled, playing with the fabric of his button down shirt.

"You know what I thought when I first met you?"

"Hmm?" Her eyes lit up with curiosity and she felt her heart lift when she saw the amount of love in his expression.

"That you were a mystery that I was never going to solve. Even now, after spending all this time with you I'm—I'm still amazed at the depth of your strength, your heart—and your hotness."

She beamed up at him and leaned up to press her lips onto his.

"You're not so bad yourself, Castle," she husked into his ear and placed another kiss on the patch of skin nearby. He brought her face back toward his and caressed her cheekbone with the pad of his thumb.

"I'm so lucky to have you in my life. I still can't believe that I have someone as astonishingly beautiful as you to love me," he whispered a breaths space apart from her mouth before he guided her lips to meet his. Kate broke the kiss just as it was gaining intensity.

"Take me to bed, Rick."

He didn't even let her finish her train of thought before he scooped her up into his arms and she squealed in delight as he brought her into their room, closing the door behind him.

* * *

><p><em><strong>TBC<strong>_

_I appreciate you all so much for reading! Thank you! I look forward to hearing what you think about this chapter!_


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